The squatty minions were tucking kindling in between the logs under the cauldron to make the fire easier to start. Zorro’s head tipped back when they jostled the pot with their clumsy efforts. His face was streaked with blood and I couldn't tell if he was breathing.
Knots formed in my throat as I forced myself to stay put. Only fools rushed in, and I couldn't be a fool while Zorro's life was on the line. “We have to get over there. We have to stop her.”
“This ends today,” Zach hissed his agreement.
“Is Zorro alive?” Fabio whispered, worried.
I put my ear to the forest floor and nodded. I could hear my friend’s heartbeat. It was weak, but it was there. It gave me hope. “Barely, but yes. Mae Blockinschlokinberg has been drinking his blood.”
“Dead bitch walking,” Zach growled in a tone that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
“I’ve sent an enchanted ping to the others so they know our location,” Fabio said. “There are too many of them, and not enough of us, right now. If we go in now, they'll be able to get to Zorro before we have a chance to stop them. Let’s hold off on an attack until everyone has the area surrounded.”
“I’m good with that unless they light the fire,” Zach said, his eyes glued to Mae Blockinschlokinberg, who greedily gulped more of Zorro’s blood from the chalice she gripped with both hands. “When that happens, I move whether we have backup or not.”
“What da fuck are youse guys doin’?” a voice whispered from behind us. “Playin’ hide and seek?”
Zach and Fabio jerked around in surprise and almost blasted the three furry dummies into their Next Adventure. Quickly, shoving the cats behind me, I raised my hands to stop an unnecessary shitshow. We had enough deadly problems on our hands.
“It’s Zelda’s cats,” I whispered.
Fabio blew out a long slow breath, and Zach clenched his fists at his side. The tension was so explosive, it was like a time bomb set to go off at any second.
“Guys, you really shouldn’t sneak up on people who can send you into the Next Adventure,” I whispered, turning around and chastising the cats.
“Good advice, sweet cheeks. Weese got nine lives, but I think weese are down to three,” Fat Bastard said, peeking through the bushes to see what was going on. “Holy shee-ot. Thems is slug Shifters.”
“And they have Zorro,” I said. “Those slugs are disciples of Henrietta Smith. They’re murderers.” I gestured to the heap of dead bodies. “We’re getting Zorro back and ending this shit for good.”
“Them slimy mother humpers spit venom,” Boba Fett informed us with a shudder. “Youse get slimed and youse is a goner.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Zach demanded, pressing the bridge of his nose in frustration at the new information.
“Nope, I ain’t banging no body named Serious,” Boba Fett said, shrugging his furry shoulders then grabbing his tiny balls. “I’ve been tryin’ to bang a sweet little calico named Marta, but she don’t seem to be impressed with my Johnson.”
Fat Bastard whacked Boba in the back of the head. “Dat’s not what he meant, numbnuts,” he huffed. “To answer the question, yes. Them slugs is poisonous.”
“You’re sure?” I asked. Venom spitting mollusks added a new wrinkle to our rescue plan.
“I always tell the truth even when I’m lyin’,” Fat Bastard assured me with a wink.
“Mmkay,” I said, squinting at him. We didn’t have time for games or riddles right now. “What exactly does that mean?”
“Nothin’,” Fat Bastard said with a chuckle. “Just like sayin’ it. Youse people have a plan?”
“Not exactly,” Zach admitted. “The new intel makes going in and ripping off Mae Blockinschlokinberg’s head a little trickier.”
“I like the way youse think,” Jango Fett chimed in. “Hows about we run some interference and youse do the rippin’?”
“As long as youse stay away from the filthy, fuckin’ disgusting, mother humpin’, shit stinkin’ mouths of dem slugs youse should be okay,” Fat Bastard advised.
He’d left himself so wide open, but I wasn’t about to point out he had a filthy mouth himself. There was no time.
Zelda, Mac, Sassy, Jeeves and four of the strangest looking little guys poofed in behind the cats. The strange looking ones had to be Sassy’s adopted chipmunk sons. Chewing gum a mile a minute, they were tiny in stature and wearing matching plaid rompers. All four had sweet smiles and a shock of wiry brown hair that stuck straight up on their heads that marked them as brothers.
“These are my boys,” Sassy whispered with pride. “Chad, Chip, Chunk and Chutney. You won’t understand a thing they say, but they won’t hurt you. They’re vegetarians.”
Zach shook his head to clear Sassy’s info right out of it and leaned over to his sister. “The slugs spit venom. We have to stay clear of their mouths or we’re goners according to your cats. There’s also a pile of dead victims. I'm assuming Mae Blockinschlokinberg has drained and drank their blood. No telling how powerful she might be with all the magic she's consumed.”
Zelda began to spark.
Zach put his hand on his sister's and calmed his twin. “We can’t help the ones who are gone. But we can save Zorro, and we can sure as hell make sure this never happens to anyone else.
My heart pounded as my worry for Zorro increased. Zach took my hand as well. “We'll get him back. I swear it.”
I nodded. I wanted more than anything in the world to save my BFF. But I knew Zorro wouldn't want us to rush in at the expense of more lives. “It’s the venom I’m concerned about,” I said. “I've never heard of poisonous slugs. What happens if they spit on Zorro? Or us? What kind of venom is it?”
Zelda glanced over at Mac.
He swore under his breath. “I’ve heard of venomous slug Shifters, but in
