To die without being able to see Callie one more time… No. Even if it feels as if I am dying bit by bit by the separation that I caused, I will not allow myself to truly be lost from her. Not if I can help it.
So I shut my mouth and stare straight ahead.
“From here on forward,” the overlord states grimly, “you have a new assignment. You are no longer a guard. You were meant to watch over and protect the females, to—”
“That is precisely what I did with Callie. She was vulnerable, and I—”
“You took advantage is what you did,” the overlord snaps. “You did not love her. You love the idea of being with a woman. Maybe you even loved the idea of doing what you want. Did you talk to her or any of the other women about the notion of free will? Because you do not have that. You have my will. I am the overlord, and I have already saved us from the Grots. I—”
"You saved us, yes, but we aren't entirely safe. We need more babies. We need for the—"
The backhand splits my lip. I don’t react at all, just move my head back into position to stare straight ahead again.
“I know what we need, and I will ensure that our species does not die out. The Grots will not have their revenge despite their annihilation. We will not become extinct as they are. But we will not have children born from a union between a Novan and an Earthling that is not sanctioned.”
I gape at him. “So if Callie is pregnant with my child already—”
“She does not love you.”
All of the air rushes out of me. Is he right? Is he speaking the truth? Has he spoken with her? I can see and understand if she hates me now, but then… then she hadn’t. I loved her, and I still love her. She… The captains seemed to think she had feelings for me in return.
Maybe not love, though. She could be hurting from my actions even if she didn’t love me.
I swallow hard and have to suppress a cough.
“She is not pregnant, not yet, but I am certain it will happen soon for her.”
Every word out of the overlord’s mouth wounds me terribly, but I deserve this. I deserve everything that is heading my way. I wronged Callie, and she can’t trust me.
Without trust, how can there be love?
And she is so sweet and tender. Her giggle, I miss hearing it so much. I have no doubt that if a breeder tries to get to know her, that she will make another Novan fall in love with her.
I am going to lose her.
No. I’ve already lost her.
I made a mistake. I was a fool, a terrible one, and I am paying the price for my actions.
As I should.
“You are no longer a guard,” the overlord says. “Instead, you are a soldier.”
“A soldier?” I ask, unable to help myself. I’m shocked. “We haven’t the need—”
“We will always have the need to be strong and powerful. Yes, we have allies with the Earthlings, and yes, we might be able to handle any threat that comes our way considering what we did to the Grots. I don’t think any will think to attack us, but I do not want to be caught with my pants down. We need to have soldiers and warriors, and we will. There are going to be many soldiers besides just you, of course.”
“I… Yes. I will be a soldier. I will defend us all.”
Including Callie.
Including defending Callie from even myself.
“Good. This is effective immediately.”
“May I… May I say goodbye?” I ask.
“No.”
“No? But I—”
“You heard me, Soldier.”
I swallow hard. “Overlord—”
“Yes. I am the overlord, and you will do as you are ordered.” He crowds into my personal space. “I will not give you another new assignment. Do you understand? If you fail as a soldier, then you have failed at being a Novan, and if you aren’t a Novan… you are worthless.”
“If I can just say goodbye, then—”
“If you continue to talk back, you will have your tongue removed. Now, go. Report to the barracks.”
"We've had a barracks built?" I ask, gaping at him. His threat about my tongue doesn't phase me. As far as I know, he has never done such a thing, and even if he were to remove my tongue or to chop me into pieces, I would still love Callie with everything I have left.
She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
Fear at being discovered ruined me.
Anger and jealousy too.
Can love survive all of that?
“Yes, we have a barracks. A driver will take you there. Go now before I change my mind and decide that I will not tolerate insolence and change my mind about giving you a second chance.”
I nod and march away, each footstep echoing the beating of my heart. The overlord isn’t the one I want a second chance from. Only Callie. Always Callie.
Will I ever see her again?
16
Callie
A fierce banging at my door has my hand flying to my throat. I don’t like the sound. It reminds me of fireworks. I’ve never liked fireworks, not after my family had a party with them. Some of my younger cousins thought it would be a lot of fun to blow some off without adult supervision. One of the rockets backfired and blew off one of my cousin's fingers. The adults stood around laughing while my cousin screamed. I had to grab a towel and try to convince my other cousins to find the finger. They were too busy yelling and carrying on. I couldn't convince my cousin to apply pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding so I could look for it. Eventually, he was driven to the hospital, and I wasn't allowed to go with him. I had to go inside the
