He blinked, tossing his bangs away from his eyes, reminding her of his dad when he was young. "How many years?" He asked.
"So many," her voice caught, but she forced herself to continue. "So many, that, really, my last memory is being a girl about Barbara's age. And I was living in this house with Ramani and Aarav and Darpan. The office was my bedroom and I was in high school. Your dad lived across the street, and Carrie––" she was feeling breathless. "Carrie was, like, thirteen."
Jesse's mouth formed a tight O. He stared at her, riveted. "You mean you just, like, woke up one day and you were you now, but all you remember is being a kid?"
Serene nodded. "Basically."
He smacked his palm to his forehead, which made Serene smile. "Oh. My. God." He exclaimed. "My wig just flew."
Serene laughed. "That's a funny one."
"What?"
"My wig just flew."
"It's like shock, you know," Jesse said. "Total shock. But," he paused, thinking. "If you only remember being a teenager, then we weren't around yet."
Serene shook her head. "No. You weren't."
He sat silently with that for some moments. "Is that why you've been so strange?"
"Yeah," Serene said softly. "Like you, I've been trying to figure out who I am."
Jesse lifted his hand from under hers, pushing his fingers through her fingers. "I'll help you."
"And I'll help you," Serene said. They shared a smile.
"Do you want to be called Mom, or Serene, or Dora?"
"Jesse, you can call me Mom. I am your mom. And eventually––my doctor, she says my memories should come back. Some of them already have."
Jesse pulled his hand from hers, stood, and walked around the table to hug her.
"Where are the others?" Serene asked.
"Oh. They went to the store to stock up because of the virus. Just in case things get bad." He pulled back. "But Grandpa Ron said it'll probably blow over in two weeks. I think maybe he's right."
"Maybe." She looked over her shoulder out the window where she could see Ron and Maggie's house across the street.
"I'll be right back," she told her son and stood.
"Where're you going?"
"I want to talk to your grandparents for a minute."
A fluttery feeling of nerves settled in Serene's throat after she rang the Bate's doorbell. Ron answered. His hand was bandaged, his eyes slits of mistrust. He wasn't wearing his baseball cap, and Serene saw that he still had a full head of dark grey hair. He stood with his arms dangling at his sides.
Serene wasn't sure what she wanted to say to this man. This man who was the grandfather of her children, the father of the love of her life. A breeze picked up and it whipped at the American flag he had erected in the yard. She opened her mouth to tell him that she was sorry about what happened at dinner last night, but the words felt stuck. She wanted to tell him how happy she'd been to see him and Maggie, how at one time their home felt like a refuge of sorts. That they embodied something she craved, but couldn't exactly describe, that she didn't know anything about politics or the president and that she didn't care because what she knew was that they were good people. She wanted to tell him all these things, but time had created a chasm of difference. She could see that now—a gulf of suspicion, distrust and doubt. Something had taken shape or form that she couldn't define. A tension that had to do with a world that she didn't understand yet.
Maggie came up behind her husband, her lips pressed tight and twisted to the side. "Dora," she said.
"I'm not Dora anymore. I'm Serene."
"Oh, right. Yes." Maggie ran a hand through her short hair. "What can we do for you?"
"I came by to tell you that it was nice to see you last night, and I hope that you'll come around more."
Her words fell on silence, but Ron's jaw seemed to relax. He cleared his throat and gave a little nod.
"Well, we'll do what we can," Maggie said.
The flag flapped harder in the wind, catching Serene's eye.
"You got a bigger flag," she said, suddenly taking notice of this.
"We're proud of our country," Ron replied.
"America's a good country," Serene agreed, unsure what he was getting at.
He looked caught off guard, and then he smiled, a genuine smile. "That's something we can agree on."
There were many things they could agree on, she thought to herself, but she stepped back. "Anyway. Hopefully…" She wasn't sure what to say. "I don't think I've ever been to a baseball game. Maybe we could go to one with the kids."
Ron's mouth fell open.
"We would love that," Maggie spoke for him.
Serene turned to leave.
"Serene?" Maggie called out.
"Yes?"
"Do you guys have everything you need over there?"
Serene cocked her head, uncertain. "Everything we need?"
"You know, with the virus. Everyone's going crazy, buying up all the toilet paper and Lysol wipes. We have a whole box of Lysol wipes I got at Costco last month."
"Oh. Erica and Cuppa are out buying stuff."
"Well, if you need anything, just let us know."
"You too." Maggie's offering felt like a small peace offering.
"We've decided to postpone our trip," Maggie added.
"I had to get stitches," Ron spoke up. "Can't really do any swimming now, so what's the point?"
Serene nodded.
"If you want to bring the kids by to play in the pool when the weather gets warmer, we could do a BBQ. Just give us a heads up if that crazy mother of yours is going to be around." Ron said.
Serene smiled. "I will." She waved and jogged back across the street, glimpsing her son's face through the window. He watched her curiously and when she caught his eye, he grinned.
They came bustling through, carrying boxes and bags of groceries. Serene and Jesse pitched in to help while Cuppa
