“What did it say?” Carrie asked.
Serene's hand shook. “It was personal.”
“Personal?” Steve said.
Serene met his eyes.
“Yes.”
63
Barbara - June 2020
They piled out of the car, face masks in place. Barbara helped Erica and Cuppa gather up their homemade signs as Jesse bounced on his toes, excited to join the march.
No justice, no peace! They could hear the protestors chanting. He and Sara both wore rainbow gossamer butterfly wings and Barbara handed her brother the rainbow flag to carry.
Ramani’s husband John had a friend, Allen, who was out of town and offered up his driveway for them to park. Moments later, Ramani and John pulled up behind them and Ramani sprang out of the car before John could even cut the engine.
“Alright, are we ready?” She yelled.
Jesse ran up to her, his eyes crinkling with a smile, and she gave him a fist bump. John hoisted a backpack over his shoulders and handed Ramani the sign they made with the words We Will Not Be Silent.
“Where is Serene?” Ramani asked.
“She wasn’t up for it,” Erica said. Sara’s hand slipped into Erica’s as they walked toward Santa Monica Boulevard.
Barbara felt her stomach twist with the excitement of it all. An older man riding a bike passed them, the speaker in his basket blaring out the melancholy voice of Neil Young.
“The world is turning. I hope it don’t turn away.”
So much had happened in the last several months that sometimes Barbara felt like her head was going to explode. The pandemic had raced through their lives like an out of control wildfire, scorching everything in its path. There had been the closure of their schools and the decimation of Erica and Cuppa's business. They'd had to refund a lot of clients, postpone some of the weddings and postpone again. Erica had rented a studio in Venice but spent a lot of time at their mother's in Crenshaw. There had been the very public documentation of fatal violence committed against George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery, igniting a deep societal rage and grief that had led to protests all over the country and world. The upheaval of the world as Barbara knew it igniting something inside her as well, a feeling of wanting to take action. She'd become involved in a youth-led climate change activist group and suddenly found herself neck-deep in reading ecology books and organizing campaigns, as well as trying to be a good friend to Gina. Her friend had fallen into a deep dark hole of depression ever since her mother's body was discovered.
The most unexpected change for Barbara was the romance that had sprouted up between her parents, an unforeseen outcome of her mother's odd condition. Sometimes Barbara caught her father staring at her mother with such passion and affection that it made her blush for him. Their renewed relationship had not gone over well in the family. It was taking time for them to get used to, especially Sara, who'd become sullen and contrary. The only thing that could keep her somewhat mollified was Cuppa’s attention, supplemented with regular calls from Erica. And lately, Sara had actually taken a shine to Grandma Maggie and Aunt Carrie. Across the street, Sara spent time doing crossword puzzles and baking with her grandmother, or making collages with Aunt Carrie. Sara had gotten into the habit of passing on Grandma Maggie's anecdotes. “Grandma Maggie says the secret to a good pie crust is Crisco,” to which Cuppa would grimace but hold her tongue. Or, “Grandma Maggie said if you want to get a stain out, soak it in warm water with OxyClean.”
Serene and John had become close friends, often talking on Zoom about books and writing. To Barbara's surprise, her mother was reading a lot and working on some old novel she'd started years ago, apparently. Serene had also rekindled her friendship with Kanani, who she talked about incessantly. Barbara now ran Dora's Closet with Cuppa's help, along with everything else she was involved with. Serene had zero interest in her online business. Sometimes Barbara felt as if her family and the rest of society had been thrown into a great big washing machine. Everything that was once familiar, scrambled up and spit out into surprising and, more often than not, disconcerting arrangements.
Barbara raised her Black Lives Matter sign up high as Ramani overtook her and they merged with the rest of the protestors on Santa Monica Boulevard. An electric excitement sizzled all around them and Barbara’s family joined their voices to the thousands of others’ call and response chant.
Show me what democracy looks like
This is what democracy looks like
Show me what America looks like
This is what America looks like
Show me what solidarity looks like
This is what solidarity looks like
Barbara’s eyes roamed over her siblings, Jesse’s neck muscles strained like hard little cords as he yelled out the chant. Sara, quiet and pensive, clung to Erica. Erica and Cuppa waved their signs, chanting loud, John just behind them, holding up a fist now and then, but Ramani had torn away from their little group and, in her hyper excitement, had removed her mask, screaming back the response, one hand holding her sign, the other a fist jabbing at the air. Barbara dodged around people to get to her grandmother, pointing at herself and the mask she was wearing. Ramani looked at Barbara blankly as the chant changed back to No justice, no peace, and then she was pushing forward again, moving like a force of nature, disappearing into the crowd. Barbara squinted at the sunlight in her eyes, but she’d lost Ramani. She waited until the rest of her family caught up before continuing onward, Neil Young’s song lingering in her mind.
“The world is turning. I hope it don’t turn away.”
64
Serene - July 2020
“Mom!” Barbara called. Serene set her book down on the couch and went to what used to be
