Tears run silently down my face as I lay alone in the bed. A knot forming in my stomach makes it hard to calm myself down. I don’t know how long I lay there staring at the wall wondering if he will come back up. Not able to keep my eyes open any longer I drift off into sleep.
By the time I wake the next morning Nicoli is already gone. I head downstairs to find Daveon sitting on the couch once again watching TV. Turning to look at me upon hearing my feet crossing the hallway, I am taken aback. He has a dark bruise under his left eye along with a cut that is just off to the side of it. Rushing over to him still gaping. “Oh my gosh are you okay? What happened.”
“Not sure what you two did last night but man he is in a hell of a mood this morning.” My eyes widened at his revelation.
“Nico did this? But why?” I reach out and gently touch the bruise on his cheek. Shaking his head as he pulls away.
“It’s nothin darlin. Let's just say I pushed him a little too far today.” He shrugs it off like it's nothing.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t intend for this to happen.”
“It's not your fault, I have known him long enough to know when he is gonna snap. He needed to hear what I had to say but he clearly didn’t like it. Though I'm sure it won’t fully resonate with him for a while with how worked up he is. Don’t worry this is nothing.”
Wondering what they had talked about and feeling guilt over Daveon taking the brunt of our argument last night, I head into the kitchen. Knowing he doesn’t want me fawning over his injuries like a mother hen. “Are you hungry?” I call out, already knowing he is. He turns to face me again grinning, before I turn and begin to make us both some food. It is the least I can do.
Neither of us bring the topic back up anymore throughout the day and continue to go on like everything is normal. As night falls over the city and the time passes by Nicoli is still not home. Daveon is out on the balcony with a cigarette in hand. I can see the orange glow as he takes a drag before blowing it out. He doesn't look over as I step out with him.
Letting the breeze blow my hair as we stand in silence. Breaking the stillness I speak. “Do you think Nicoli would allow me to leave the house?” Turning to me looking a little confused. “I mean, I feel like a prisoner holed up here all day. Now that I am no longer a secret and all I was wondering if you thought he would let me go out and see the city.”
Blowing out a puff of smoke before replying. “I don’t see why not but you will need to ask him yourself.”
“When is he going to be home?” He shrugs in return to my question.
“He said he would be quite late tonight. I wouldn't expect to see him before you fall asleep.”
Thoughts of our argument and words assault my mind. Is he out with her? Nodding I retreat back up to my room. Just as Daveon had said, Nicoli did not return home until sometime in the night. I had heard him briefly as he entered the room grabbing some fresh clothes and to shower, though I kept my eyes closed pretending to sleep. Not wanting to ask him the question burning inside and tearing at my already fragile heart. He doesn't linger in the room before going back out just as fast as he had come.
19
LILIANA
The next couple of days follow this same routine until I feel like I'm going to explode. Not knowing where and with whom he is spending all of his time with starts to eat at me. Wrapped in a blanket, I sit out on the couches on the balcony as I wait for him to come home. Knowing that I can’t stand another night of my thoughts and accusations chipping away at my sanity.
It’s a little after two in the morning as he finally makes an appearance. After speaking briefly with Daveon before he leaves, he makes his way upstairs. I sit there unsure what to do, knowing he didn’t notice me out on the balcony shielded by the darkness. I am about to wonder if he will even notice that I am not up there when not seconds later he comes barreling down the stairs. His eyes frantically searching around the living room and kitchen before turning to the window and landing on me. He noticeably releases a breath as he sees me.
My anxiety builds as I watch him make his way outside, stopping a couple feet in front of me. My stomach feels tight and uneasy at facing the conversation I have been dreading. Neither of us talk as the silence stretches out between us, feeling it hang in the air, thick and choking as we both refuse to acknowledge it. Knots form and I feel as if I am staring down a dark formidable alley, knowing something is waiting for me at the end that I don’t want to reach. Unable to take anymore of the suspension I break. “Where have you been every night?”
Upon hearing the accusations in my question, he doesn’t bother responding. Instead he turns to leave heading back the way he just came, dismissing me and my question entirely. Fearing not knowing any longer and drowning in my own assumptions, my next question tumbles out of my mouth in a
