“The water’s crystal clear,” said Aaron meekly. “There are fish in it.”
“Skinny-dipping,” said Sean, rubbing his hands together. “Nice!”
Brett pulled a face. “Really, Sean? Just us guys?”
“Ryan’s got strippers, ain’t he?”
Ryan was forced to disappoint them. “You really think a stripper would come out here, two miles from the nearest village, to entertain a bunch of drunken idiots? No way, mate. Would’ve been a non-starter.”
Tom chuckled and gave Sean a playful shove. His expensive watch glittered in the sunlight. “Yes, that would be a rather unwise career move for a young lady.”
“We’re not rapists,” said Loobey, wounded. “Jesus, you make it sound like we’re dangerous.”
They all looked at Sean.
“One of us has already talked about chopping up bodies,” said Brett.
Sean tutted. “I ain’t gonna kill nobody, am I? I’m just excited.”
“Good to know,” said Ryan. “Okay, let’s go inside.”
“About time!” Loobey clutched himself and shivered. “I’m freezing me nuts off here. You could have booked us a weekend in Ibiza, Ryan.”
Sean pinched his belly fat. “Freezing? With all that insulation?”
“Piss off!”
“I’m a bit chilly too,” said Aaron, wearing only a light grey jacket. He didn’t own anything thicker because he hardly ever left the house.
Ryan nodded to the front door, a solid slab of wood with a cute diamond-shaped window at the top. “Let’s get in and build a fire. Everyone, grab yer gear.”
They grabbed their bags from the car and headed inside. While the exterior was traditional – white-washed stone and a thatched roof – the interior was modern. Manufactured oak planks covered the floor and the bulk of the living space was open-plan. A compact kitchen-diner adjoined a large lounge area with a fireplace and television. A stack of shiny blue solar panels behind the cottage provided electricity along with a diesel generator beside the shed. Even inside, with the door closed, you could hear the motor thrumming away.
Ryan led everyone to the kitchen counter, which he had stacked full of beers, vodka, and bottled water. There were shopping bags full of snacks on the floor and pizzas in the fridge. “Eat regularly and stay hydrated,” he told them, “or you’ll be out of the game.”
“I’ll stick to vodka, me,” said Sean, grabbing a bottle and unscrewing the cap. Before he swigged, he looked at everyone and shrugged. “What? It’s what we’re here for, ain’t it?”
Ryan grabbed a beer. “Let’s get this party started.”
“Because Tom is coming out,” said Sean, elbowing Tom in the ribs.
Tom rolled his eyes. “Moron.”
Next, Ryan showed everyone to their bedrooms. The master was on the ground floor at the rear of the cottage, through a door beside the stairs. Ryan and Aaron would share its double bed. The staircase was opposite the kitchen, and on the upper floor were three cramped bedrooms. Sean and Loobey agreed to share the room with twin beds, while Brett and Tom had a double each.
Sean pulled a face when they re-emerged onto the landing. “There’s only one bathroom? I ain’t going in after Loobey’s taken a dump.”
Everyone chuckled.
“We’re in the wilderness,” said Aaron. He clutched himself as he spoke, as if he was worried someone might prod him in the chest. “Everywhere’s a toilet if you want it to be.”
Sean nodded. “Good point, our kid. Loobey, you’ll have to drop your kecks outside.”
Loobey shoved Sean against the pastel-blue wall. It wasn’t a fair fight when it came to weight divisions, but Sean rubbed his elbow and grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Get off, yer fat bastard!”
Everyone laughed. The noise echoed off the old-fashioned white tiles that made up the bathroom’s floor. The toilet and bath were lime green, the colour of kiwis. The sink too. Ryan felt a little queasy just looking at it.
Time for an update.
Sean was still beaming. “I’ve missed you pillocks. We should do this more often.”
Ryan nodded enthusiastically. “I know, right? What happened to us? We used to go up town every weekend. Now we’re all too busy.”
“We grew up,” said Tom. “We’re not teenagers any more, Ryan. You’re about to get married. I’m settled down with Amanda. Loobey has a daughter.”
“Brett sticks his fingers up dog’s bumholes,” Sean added.
Brett rolled his eyes. “You’re really on form today, aren’t you? Are you going to be like this all weekend?”
“There’s a strong possibility.”
Ryan sighed, frustrated without really knowing why. “Growing up doesn’t mean our lives have to be over though, does it? We can still have a laugh.”
“Of course we can,” said Loobey. “We’re here now, ain’t we?”
Ryan patted him on the back. “I’m just missing the old days, I guess.”
Sean pointed a finger at Ryan and cackled. “He’s getting cold feet, lads! Is that why you dragged us out here in the middle of nowhere, our kid? You running out on the missus?”
Ryan felt himself blush. “Give over. I’m just glad we’re all together like old times. It means a lot that you all came.”
“Of course we came,” said Tom. “We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”
“Absolutely,” said Loobey, cracking his first actual smile since he’d arrived. “You’re my best mates and always will be.” Sean reached out and grabbed Loobey’s cock, making him shy away. “The hell you doing, Sean?”
“Ah, sorry, our kid. Thought we were gonna start knobbing. Can we go downstairs now and start drinking, you bunch of jessies?”
A smile crept onto Ryan’s face. This was going to be a weekend to remember. “Okay, lads, let’s go make some memories.”
Everyone agreed.
Chapter Two
Ryan got a buzz as he started his third beer, and he was pleased
