“I’m doing ok you guys, I’m finding my way, slowly but surely, and the guys make me happy. I wish so much that you were both here. I miss you so much, but I really think I will be alright, so if you’re still worrying about me, then you can stop.” Tears fell again, and I had to take a few moments to calm down before I fell apart again.
“I need to go. This is harder than I thought, talking to you like this.” I sighed. “I just need you both to know that I have never, for one second stopped loving you both. You gave me the best childhood, nine happy years that a lot of kids don’t get, and I haven’t forgotten them. I can still…...still feel your hands running through my long hair, Mom, smell your perfume as we lay side by side in the yard, on sunny days. I c-can still feel your arms around my waist, Dad, as…...you s-spun me around and around at the park. I can still feel both of you…...feel you with me, in here.” I pressed my hand to my heart as I fought the tears. “Please, just be happy, wherever you are…..both just be happy now. I’m safe and I’m loved. I’m ok and I need you to be too, ok?” I whimpered. One more breath, and I forced myself to my shaky legs and stood.
“Love you Mom. Love you Dad.” I whispered as I kissed my palm and lay it over each stone in turn. Two shaky hobbling steps, and I was swept into Kyles arms, held bridal style against his firm chest.
“It’s ok, Baby.” Kyle whispered as I burst into yet more tears. I was such a mess. “I’ve got you.” He kissed my temple as he carried me away and to the others.
“I need to come back.” I whimpered. “I just cried. I didn’t tell them anything good.” I was mad with myself for getting so upset. I was supposed to be strong.
“We will Liv, when you’re ready. You just tell us, and we’ll bring you.” I looked over his shoulder as we all strode away, and just caught sight of the graves, now adorned with the huge bouquet the guys had brought. They must have laid it after I walked away. It made me feel better to know we had left something for them, something to show we cared.
I took the rest of the walk to the car to just get myself together, finding that a lot easier to do when I was pressed against Kyle’s warm, comforting body. It had been one of the hardest things I had ever done, seeing the graves of the only two people who had ever loved me before I found my guys and their family, but I had done it and I was still standing, well sort of. I had gotten through it anyway, and it was a start.
“How are you feeling, Love?” Kade asked when we reached the car. I looked up from Kyle’s chest and forced a smile.
“Ok. It was hard, but I think it will help me move forward now.”
“You did well, Cariña. That was not an easy thing to face.” Matt whispered, when he appeared beside me and ran a cold hand over my tear streaked cheek.
“I hope they heard me, somehow. I hope they know I’m ok.”
“I’m sure they did.” Cole said. I looked around to where he stood behind Matt.
“Come on, let’s get home, light a fire and watch a movie, yeah?” Kyle suggested and it sounded amazing.
“As long as we have ice cream.” I added with a smile.
“I think we can manage ice cream too, Princess.” Kyle agreed. And just like that, with a few words of comfort, soft smiles, and their reassuring presence, they made everything a little better.
CHAPTER 3
When we got home Matt carried me up to my room, and left me in the bathroom to take a quick shower. I was frozen to the bones, my jeans soaked from sitting in the snow. I just needed to warm up.
Once I was done I changed into my favourite grey yoga pants and hooded sweater, just needing to be warm and comfortable. My hair was wet and needed drying, but I was too tired to bother, so instead I bundled it on top of my head and pinned it up, knowing I’d regret it in the morning, but not caring at that moment.
“Livy? You ready, Chica?” Matt asked from outside the door.
“Yeah, come in.” I couldn’t help but smile when he came in wearing green and blue checked lounge pants and a blank muscle tank, his rippling biceps on display and making me drool. I would never get tired of seeing each of their perfectly sculpted bodies.
“You manage ok?” He stalked toward me as he spoke, snagging my arm and taking enough of my weight for me to be able to lift my casted foot, relieved to get the weight off of it.
“Yeah. The shower felt good, but I’ll be glad when I can get this cast off.” I hated trying not to wet it in the shower.
“It won’t be long. It’s important it sets right, or you’ll have problems with it later. Trust me, I know.”
“You broke an ankle too?” I asked without thought. I realised my mistake when his gaze went dark, then dropped from me to the floor.
“Not an ankle, my left wrist, left femur and right forearm.” He forced his eyes back up to mine. “The wrist and arm were both when I was six, and the femur was just before I got out, when I was nine. None of them were set properly,
