Kyle remained silent for several seconds, then let out a huge huff of breath, and nodded. I was relieved to see him deflate some.
“Don’t worry Kid. I won’t take it personally.” Jack said jovially, slapping Kyle on the back as he passed him. They all walked away from the cars and into a bigger space just a little further down the road.
“He’s right Kyle. Sort yourself out, because I need you with us on this. Olivia needs you.” Kade added, then we all followed Rob and his guys, and joined where they stood looking over some printed maps of the area.
They started talking about where Kade thought the cabin might be from what I had told him, then crossing that with areas Rob’s team covered when they were searching for me weeks before. I wasn’t really paying any attention, instead trying to refocus my mind as it fought like hell to stray to the day I had been in that same place, terrified, covered in blood, and completely lost. In some ways it seemed like so long ago, but in others, especially as I stood there, it felt so very fresh and raw.
“Breathe.” A voice came from my right. I looked around, not recognising the voice, and found Rob’s guy, Jack, stood at my side, but leaving a good couple of feet gap between us.
“Huh?” I just stared at him, still partly lost to my dark thoughts.
“You’re holding your breath, Sweet. You keep on like that and I’ll be needing to revive you before we even set out.” His voice was calm, and smooth, kind of soothing. He had a gentle smile on his face, and I found it a comfort in the midst of the terrifying past swirling around me. With his blond hair, blue eyes, and huge body, he reminded me of Grant. He even looked around the same age too.
“I’m ok.” I whispered, trying to shake away the past before it enveloped me completely.
“I know this can’t be easy for you. Just try to concentrate on your breathing as much as possible. It will help you get through.”
“What’s wrong, Cariña?” Matt asked, obviously hearing the tail end of Jack’s advice.
“N-nothing, I’m ok. I was just freaking out a bit, but Jack reminded me the importance of oxygen.” I joked, with a grateful smile to Jack.
“Are you sure you’re up to this? We can go back to the car, get you home, and Kyle and the others will search the area.”
“No. We’re here now, Matt. I can do this. I’ll be ok.” I said firmly.
“You change your mind, or it becomes too much, you tell me. I know you want to find this little girl, but we can’t lose you in the process.” Matt said firmly. I nodded my agreement, then pretended to listen to Rob, before Matt could question me further.
I was so scared of being as close as I knew I was to the cabin. My heart pounded and my hands shook where I hid them in my coat pockets. My brain was screaming at me to turn around and run, just as it had last time I found myself on that road, but I couldn't, because this time there was more than my freedom at stake.
“Ok Olivia, we’re all going to follow you.” Rob said, snagging my attention for real. I looked up and found all of the guys watching me, terrifying me. I shrunk even further into Matt’s side for comfort. “Just stay close to us, don’t get ahead. ok?”
“W...what if I don’t recognise the way?” I stuttered, my voice shaking badly.
“There will likely be places where you won't. It’s ok, we’ll figure it out together. Don’t worry Honey, we all know how hard this is going to be. I just need you to make sure you let someone know if you need to stop for a break. The past is going to hit you hard, being back here. Anxiety starts rearing its head, we need to know before it spirals, yeah?”
“He’s right, Love. Don’t try and hold it in. You can’t help us find this cabin if you go into a full attack.” Kade agreed. I looked between Kyle’s team, all men I didn’t know, and yet there was this understanding in all of their eyes as they nodded and gave me soft smiles. I had no idea what made them all have such intuition into the anxiety and PTSD, but I was pretty sure they got it, and it helped. I didn’t need to fight with everything in me to keep it together. I could focus some on finding that damned hellhole, knowing they wouldn't get annoyed, or worse, laugh, if I showed signs of stress.
“I will.” I agreed when I realised they were all still watching me.
“Ok. Me and Jack will be up front, so we’ll need you to tell us which direction Olivia. Kyle, you and your brothers stay close behind us with Olivia. Cam and Evan, you guys take the rear. Keep your eyes peeled. We have no idea if this guy has traps set up on the property.”
“Traps?” I gasped. The thought had never even occurred to me that the guys could be in that kind of danger, following me out there.
“Locals described him as a full out mountain man. If that’s the case traps are a possibility.” Rob explained. I felt physically sick as I looked at my guys who now surrounded me. My eyes settled on Kyle.
“Maybe Cole and Matt should stay back. Wait here for us?” I could barely speak through the huge lump in my throat. Kyle and Kade were trained, I’d still be terrified for them, but
