“I’ll be looking forward to it.” I agreed.
We both settled in, me remaining where I lay with my head on his chest and cuddled up against him. The room went quiet, the only sound, our breathing. The TV was illuminating the space enough for me to not panic and I just felt safe, and so very comfortable.
“Matt?” I whispered.
“Hmm?”
“What does Cariña mean?” I had wanted to ask for weeks.
“It’s like, ‘darling’, or ‘sweetheart’.” He replied, sounding half asleep.
“And Mi Amado?”
“‘My love’, it means ‘my love’. You want me to stop using them? Does it bother you?”
“No! Don’t stop. I like it Matt. I love hearing you speak spanish. I just wanted to know what you were saying.”
“Ok good. Now sleep. I got you.” He gave me a tight squeeze where he held me to prove he definitely did have me. A few minutes later I fell asleep feeling safe and so very loved.
CHAPTER 13
“I’m really not sure about this.” I shouted from the walk-in closet in my room. Once again Keira was helping me get ready, this time for a date, with Cole.
I was so nervous about messing it up for him, that my stomach was wound into knots. He was just so excited about it all, and I was sure I was going to do something wrong, or go into melt down and ruin all his plans.
“Let me see Honey. I’m sure you look beautiful.” Keira encouraged.
I studied myself in the mirror and frowned. Keira had pinned my hair up this time, in some fancy, sweeping updo, with a braid that was pulled back and tied into the neat little bun at the back, but off to the left side. There were some loose curls at the front to frame my face, and she had applied makeup for me again, this time a little more than before. I wore eye shadow, in what was apparently called, a ‘smokey eye’, as well as some liner, macara and a cute pink lipstick which I really liked. The hair and makeup were good. I was happy with them. It was the outfit that was making me wildly nervous.
Cole had said not to go super fancy on the clothes, since we were having more of a ‘fun’ date, than a fancy one. That had been a relief for me. I didn't think I could do fancy.
But Keira had picked out a dress for me to wear. It was a deep red colour, fitted at the top, with three quarter length sleeves, then a flared skirt that stopped mid thigh. Keira called it a ‘skater’ dress, and I had to admit, it was cute and very feminine. I just wasn’t sure I was either of those things.
I wore it with thick black tights, since it was still snowing outside, and some suede, heeled ankle boots. The low neckline of the dress showed off the necklace Matt gave me for Christmas, which I liked, but I was very nervous in the dress. I just didn't want to look a fool for Cole.
“Come on Olivia. Let me see it, Honey. I’ll be honest. If I don’t think it’s perfect, we’ll find you something else.” Keira called, and I knew I needed to get out there. One more deep breath, then I turned and walked out. I stood before her awkwardly, constantly feeling the need to pull the hem of the dress down.
“Oh Olivia! What the heck are you fussing about, girl? You look beautiful, absolutely stunning. Cole is going to be bowled over when he sees you.” She cried excitedly. She rose from her seat on the end of my bed and jumped up and down a little, just like Evie did when she was too hyper.
“Are you sure?” I asked nervously.
“I’m sure. You look amazing.”
“I’m nervous.” I admitted.
“That’s completely normal, Honey. The first night I went out with Grant I was a mess, physically shaking I was so nervous. But as soon as he came to pick me up, and wrapped his arms around me I relaxed because I just knew it was going to be perfect. You’ll see.”
“But what if I freak out on him?” I slumped down to the end of my bed, despairingly.
“Cole won’t take you anywhere you’ll be uncomfortable. He knows you too well to risk that. But if by chance something does happen, and you start to feel even a little anxious, tell him. He knows all about your PTSD Honey. He’ll know what to do to help you through it.” She sat beside me and pulled me into a half hug. I lay my head on her shoulder, trying not to mess up my hair, but needing some comfort. “Most importantly, try to have fun. Stop worrying. You don’t need to worry about anything with Cole at your side, you can just enjoy yourself. You deserve some fun, Sweetie.”
“You’re right.” I agreed, sitting up and taking yet another deep breath. “I’ll try.”
“Good. Now off you go. Call me if you need me, but I’m sure you won’t.”
She shooed me from my room, so I grabbed the small purse she had given me, now containing my cell and the lipstick, and hurried downstairs. As I neared the last step, the front door opened and Kyle stomped in, looking pissed and grumpy.
I had been worried sick about him all day. He had been at the office for hours, and no one had heard from him. I had even called him that afternoon, anxious to know he was alright, but he never answered.
“Kyle!” I called as I ran toward him. He stood up from removing his boots just as I reached him, so I ran right into his chest and wrapped my arms tight around his waist.
