“Is that all it would take to get my way?” I asked innocently and Kade smiled as he wrapped me in his arms.
“It doesn’t even take that, Love. You know we would all do anything for you. All you need to do is ask.” He was speaking softly, almost in a whisper, his amber eyes locked in on mine. I couldn’t fight the draw towards him, and I didn't want to.
“Good to know.” I whispered as I leant in further, meeting his lips half way.
The kiss was short, but fiery and by the time we pulled apart my head felt as though it were buzzing, on a high of excitement and contentement.
So far I had only kissed Cole and Kade in that way, but I couldn't wait to do it with Kyle and Matt too. I knew that our relationship was out of the ordinary, but as yet, I hadn't chosen to care what anyone else would think. The guys and I were content, and Keira and Grant had no reservations about it all, so why should I? I was happy; we all were, and we deserved that. No way I was letting anyone take that from us.
***
I curled up into a foetal position, my body curled into the tightest ball I could make as silent tears dripped down my bruised and stinging face.
I could hear his boots pounding up the steps, his breaths still heavy from the effort of what he had just done to me. I dare not move a muscle until I heard the bang of the door closing me in The Darkness, alone. I listened as he walked across the wooden floor above and then outside, as he always did after he had hurt me the way he had that day, in the worst, most soul destroying way I thought anyone could ever be hurt.
I didn’t know why he went outside, but he always did. The upstairs would remain quiet for quite a while afterwards. I often wondered if it was his way of giving me a little peace and space after the hell he put me through each time he used me in the most disgusting way, but deep down I knew that couldn't be true. The man had no soul. He was incapable of any form of human kindness.
Once I was sure he was gone I dared to open my eyes, which I had kept clamped for the last 5476 seconds, which I had been frantically counting in my head as he threw me around a little, then laid me down and did as he wished. I had just lain there, not moving, not fighting and not uttering a sound. I had learnt years ago that fighting was completely pointless, and only ever ended in a lot more pain for me, and noises only got him over excited and much more violent. So instead I clamped my eyes shut, and focussed everything I could on keeping a count of the passing, terror filled seconds.
Now I opened my eyes and took a few seconds to adjust to the thick darkness surrounding me. I knew I was bleeding, because I could feel the warmth of the blood trickling between my legs, and also down my right arm, and down my neck from my chin.
Something had smashed when he came down enraged, maybe he had a beer bottle with him? It had happened so fast I didn't see. Whatever it was, it had smashed right near my face when I dropped to the ground and I had landed chin first on a sharp shard.
I sat up, my entire body shaking with pain, adrenaline and the desperate need to just scream and cry, but I pushed the thoughts away and instead tried to focus on my injuries. He’d likely throw me some ointment and bandages when he came back in, but for the moment all I had to clean up with was my filthy hands and the ragged t-shirt I wore.
I moved my shaking hand to my chin, the blood trickling down my neck seeming to be flowing the fastest. I lifted the collar of the t-shirt I wore to try and stem the bleeding, but gasped when I felt a sharp pain as soon as I pressed. When I moved just my hand up to investigate, I was amazed to find the small shard of glass still embedded.
Shocked, I pulled it free and just stared down at it in my hand. I could barely see it in the darkness, but I felt it in my palm, a thin shard about an inch long and jagged at one end.
Tears silently ran down my face as I realised what he had left me with. He was always so careful to take everything with him when he left, everything he brought down to hurt me with. He had even stopped to clear away the broken glass before he left that day, but he had missed a piece, and I was awash with relief for a moment.
I was young when I was taken, and knew little of ending a life, but in my time there I had learnt where my blood pounded most when I was scared, or in pain. I was a smart kid and I had spent hours considering ways to end what The Shadow was doing to me, ways to find a permanent peace. I just never had the means before. He had always been so careful, maybe so I couldn’t hurt him back, or because he feared I’d end things for myself. Either way, that was the first time anything I could use had sat in my hand, and I was so torn. I needed the pain and the torture to end. It had been 1986 days and I really didn’t know how much more I could take.
I sat there, crying silently as I tried to decide what I should do. I wanted peace, but I wanted to live
