But it’s those three little words again that snap me back to reality.
“No Logan... I’m not” I say forcefully and push hard on his chest to get him away from me.
He looks at me like I have just crushed his soul.
“Yes, you are Alexia. You just don’t understand. Let me explain.” He stands still not coming any closer to me.
“No Logan, you can’t just keep doing this. Its not fair. You can’t send me creepy letters and flowers one day and the next day get upset when you think I’m with someone else and kiss me. Take me home. I want to go home.”
“But you are supposed to be with me, just let me explain. I can explain now. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just ... don’t push me away.” He seems so sincere, and I want to believe him, but its almost like he didn’t even hear what I have said, he hasn’t even acknowledged that I have mentioned the notes. And him being sincere doesn’t make up for the way those notes made me feel. I deserve better than someone who would do that to me.
“Tell me why?” I just want him to admit it.
“Why what?” he looks confused and takes a step closer to me. I take a step back, making the distance between us the same.
“The notes Logan. Why?” I say exasperated. Why can’t he just confess it?
“Alexia I have no idea what you’re talking about. What notes?” he takes another step towards me.
“Do you know how they made me feel? You scared me Logan. But you can’t even tell me the truth now. Just forget it. I’m done. I’ll walk home.” I can feel my eyes start to fill up and I will the tears not to fall. I turn around to start walking back towards the road but he is there in front of me. Blocking my path.
“Alexia, I’m being very truthful here. I have never sent you any notes. I have no idea what you’re talking about. But I want to know what you’re talking about in the next five seconds. Why did they scare you? What did they say?” he takes another step and he is now standing in front of me. Waiting for my answer. His eyes have turned from their gold to a darker green. For a while I don’t know what to say and I just stand there.
I start to shake my head.
“No, you’re lying. It is you. It has to be.” It’s barely more than a whisper when the words leave my mouth. It has to be him. I don’t stop him when he places his hand on my face and forces me to look him in the eye.
“It’s not me Alexia. I need you to tell me what’s going on.” His eyes have gone back to their normal colour now.
“But you said I was yours. And that’s what the note said. It is you.” I’m suddenly scared and I take a tiny step closer to Logan. Closer to where I feel safe. He is just shaking his head at me slightly.
“Its not me Alexia.” He says again in a quiet tone.
“But if it’s not you, then who is it?” I whisper back like I’m afraid someone is watching us and is listening to what we are saying.
“I need you to tell me everything, can you do that?” he asks while pulling me into his arms to hold me. My arms act on instinct and go around him to and grasp onto his jumper.
“Someone is sending me notes.” I say quietly after we have gone back over to the rock to sit down. I hear a low growling sound and I realize its coming from Logan. I have an impulse to calm him down so I place my hand in his and entwine our fingers like when we were walking here. It seemed to relax him then.
“Go on” he says.
“And flowers too. But not like a bunch of flowers, it’s a wild flower. A little white one.” I’m talking quietly but I know he can hear me. His hand that I’m not holding onto is clenched into a tight fist.
“How are you getting them?” he says in a low gravelly voice. There’s still a low growl behind his words, and I can tell he is holding back his anger, but I know it isn’t aimed at me. It’s aimed at whoever is doing this to me.
“Different ways, they are always just left for me to find, on my porch, in my locker, my handbag... my balcony” he rises quickly and starts pacing in front of me.
“You mean right outside your bedroom? When you were out? ...And how the hell did someone put something in your bag without you knowing?” his voice is gaining volume now. And I’m starting to feel like he is shouting at me. Like I’m the one that’s done something wrong.
“Hey don’t you dare shout at me, this isn’t my fault. If anything it’s your fault!” my own voice is getting louder, my temper raising too.
“My fault? How do you figure that?” he questions.
“Well if you hadn’t been such a jerk because people may have seen us kissing in your car at school, then I would never have been in the forest that day, and I wouldn’t have woken up on the forest floor with a note in my bag” he turns to me and advances quickly.
“You fell asleep in the forest?...You were alone in the forest? Are you stupid? You can’t...”
“Did you just call me stupid?” I can’t actually remember a time when I have been so
