Tyson “Torch”
I wake up to a text from Camilla. I couldn’t help but smile.
I have been drunk on and off for the last few days, but that’s nothing new.
Next month there is the family BBQ and, at the Clubhouse, everyone is already talking and making plans for it.
I decide to venture back to my house, even though the thought fills me with dread. There are memories all over the place and I don’t know how I am supposed to live in there after everything.
I don’t acknowledge anyone as I make my way through the Clubhouse. I’m not in the mood to see anyone and they all know to steer clear of me.
The ride home isn’t that long and I pull up to the yard. The house looks like it has seen better days.
The grass has grown quite a bit and the house looks like it hasn’t been lived in for years.
I park my bike and stand there staring at everything. It may look like I am just checking out what all needs to be done, but really I’m trying to get the energy to walk inside.
I haven’t been inside since my sister came over before we had found Cutter.
I stand there for a long time looking at the house that was once a home. I don’t know how long I had been standing there, but I finally take a deep breath and make my way to the front door.
Walking into the house feels cold and unwelcoming.
The house is completely full of dust and the air smells stale, but I still can’t bring myself to care.
I look into the living room and see the box that Stacey had left the day she was killed. I turn away to the kitchen and hope that I have some coffee.
Searching the cupboards, I see that there is some coffee. It’s probably terrible, but I make some anyways. I rinse out a dusty cup and wait for the coffee to finish brewing. I already know that I’m not going to have fresh cream, but I look in the fridge anyway.
Opening the door, a smell blasts from inside. I spend the next couple minutes gagging.
As much as I would like to ignore it, I know I can’t.
I grab the trash can that also has a terrible smell to it, and I already know I have to throw that out first. I would hate to puke on top of everything else.
I dump the trash and walk back inside to clear everything out of the fridge. I don’t know what’s good or bad, but the smell in here is enough to make me want to never eat anything that was in there.
It takes a few minutes to realize that I need to open a window. Once I do, I breathe in the fresh air that comes in and I exhale a sigh of relief.
I pour my coffee and sit down at the table.
I take a look around the kitchen and notice how dusty it has all gotten.
Stacey would be absolutely disgusted by the place. She always had everything so neat, clean, and well organized.
I’m feeling ashamed of how I let everything go downhill and, for the first time in months, I actually do something instead of opening a bottle when I wake up.
I grab the cleaning supplies from under the sink and get to work on cleaning.
I spend the whole day cleaning the kitchen and living room. I can say that at least now the house is smelling better.
It’s already late by the time I stop for the day, and I order pizza and grab some vodka from the kitchen.
I don’t bother with a glass since I know that I’m already going to drink the whole thing.
I may have spent the day cleaning, but it took my mind off of everything when I turned on the music loud enough to drown out my thoughts.
Once the pizza arrives, I turn on the TV and see the movie that Camilla was watching with her bear and decide to leave it on.
It doesn’t take long before I polish off the pizza and vodka and am passed out on the couch.
I fall into a drunken, dreamless sleep.
I hope for a day that it will get easier.
Chapter Six
Camilla
One month later…
My days have been filled attending my self-defence classes, working out at the gym, and therapy. I still haven’t ventured outside by myself, but I haven’t been in any rush. My parents and brother go with me everywhere, and today I didn’t even freak out when I had to go get more underwear and bras. My mom had gone with me this time and I was thankful for that.
There is nothing more awkward than buying bras and panties while your brother is standing beside you. People would get the wrong, disgusting impression.
I am starting to build some muscles and, when the instructor brought in another guy last week to practice with me, I didn’t freak out as much.
Everyone seems impressed with the work that I have done. The feeling I get while I do it is empowering in a way.
I text Tyson every couple days with new things that I had done with the bear he had given me.
I was glad he laughed at every single one and didn’t think that I was being weird or stupid for doing it.
The texts gave me a little light when dark memories tried to come over me.
The memories are the worst, and they seem to come at any time of the day or night.
I try to brush them off while I get ready for tomorrow.
The Vicious Snakes like to have their family BBQs, and I asked my family if
