I dragged myself up; I was out of booze so I would have to head to the hotel bar for another fix. Keep trying to drink away everything I feel. Several double whiskys later, barely able to see straight, one of the band came over to talk to me. “Hey dude, let’s get smashed!” I said more cheerily than I felt.
“You already are smashed,” Callum commented, ordering his own drink. “Still no word from English?” His eyes took in the rumbled clothing of his boss.
“It’s been months man, it’s like she has completely disappeared.”
“Do you blame her? Do you honestly blame her? You know her past; you know better than anyone what that man did to her. Hell, you even knew the whole time you dated her that it would blow up in your face and the band’s. Yet, you still didn’t tell her the truth. Dude, Ilu, but you fucked with that girl’s head. We are mates, band members and it is my duty to tell you this straight.” He swigged from his drink, ordering me another when he saw my glass was again empty. “You fucked this up big time. Lily may never forgive you, but if you don’t die still trying to gain her forgiveness, then you ain’t the man I thought you were. Think about that, or just drink yourself out of that bar stool. I really don’t care. Me and Harry have been talking you down long enough. Do something productive instead of just drinking night after night.” Callum nodded goodnight to me and left me with my thoughts.
Hurt, I bought another bottle of whisky at the bar and headed back to my room. My mind was haunted by what my friend said. It was my fault; I messed up everything. I hid so much, so scared to lose her. The one bright shining light in my life. That I had lost her anyway. Callum was right, I needed to fight and keep on fighting. I couldn’t give up on Lily, she deserved all of me. Not just the mask I was letting her see into. I might have to admit to more things than I wanted to, but so be it if that’s what it took to get back my soul mate.
This time the call was answered, even if she didn’t speak. “Lily, I am sorry. I love you. I am going to make this right. Just tell me what ye need.”
She hung up on me without answering the question. Perhaps she hadn’t even realised that she picked up the call while she was typing away. I knew I would fight now and keep fighting until I fixed everything. Even if she walked away afterwards, that was okay. As long as I managed to resolve this bullshit that was between us so she could heal, even if I couldn’t.
Chapter 24
Lily’s POV
Scarborough beach front
I sat on the sands of North Bay watching kids play in the ocean as a long-forgotten sketch book lay open on my lap. My computer blinked with more missed messages; I still didn’t have a phone. I doubted I ever would, although I hoped that the Wi-Fi dongle wasn’t strong enough to pick up a signal all the way out here. Honestly, I forgot the darn thing was even in my bag. I was so used to carrying a heavy bag, I never bothered to unpack it anymore. I tried to ignore the chimes, as I tried to ignore the whole world around me. My universe was shattered now, another man had broken me. Yet another trust had been earned only to prove that giving it to anyone was worthless.
I wondered why I even bothered giving my heart away when it only ever got broken. I had money, some from my ex and the owed royalty finally, some from Ade and some from working with the band. If I lived carefully, I wouldn’t have to work for an exceptionally long time if ever again. I thought about just going traveling, running away from everything for a while. Keep on moving, so my own feelings couldn’t catch up with me. It would be harder for any of them to find me if I didn’t stay in one place too long.
I headed back up to the edge of town, grabbing a coffee as I walked through the park, the computer rang again. Frustrated, I pulled the machine out thinking about smashing it, stopping when I saw who the caller ID was. “Harry, are you doing his bloody dirty work now? Leave me alone, all of you!”
“Lil, I am not here for Ade, fuck Adrian, he is a damned fool that only has himself to blame. I am worried about my little adopted baby sis.”
I sighed. “I’m semi drunk, at a beach, trying to sketch wishing I were fully drunk. What more do you want from me?”
Harry sighed. “Can I come to you?”
“I’m not in Ireland.”
“I’d be damn shocked if you were, plus I can see your background. That doesn’t look like Ireland. Just gimmie an address and I will get my ass there. We can go get drunk.”
“I will text you, but if Adrian gets the slightest detail of where I am...” I left the threat hanging heavy on the sea air.
“That moron is so blind drunk; he wouldn’t hear me even if I told him everything and walked him directly in front of you. He’s on day eleven I think of the latest bender.”
“Oh well, serves the lying toad right,” I snapped, hanging up the Skype call. I hesitated slightly before messaging
