I just smiled and watched her as Ava would hand her a scarf or hat, and Julie would model it for me. She would grin at me and tease me, laying the hat against my head.
She asked me my opinion, but personally I preferred just her. Just skin. There was nothing better than the strong, beautiful Julie that I saw when her hair was gone, and it was just her.
But I didn't tell her that, because Ava and Julie would have ripped me a new one. They would have joked about it, and I didn't want that to be a joke to Julie.
I'd rather see her, playing dress up with wacky hats than crying. I'd rather see her happy and joking than return to that serious place, where she was hurt and scared.
She didn't take any hats, except for a ski hat that Ava had. She took two scarves, a bright red one, and a white one. Then, we helped Ava clean up the hat mess in her room.
Ava said she was going to bed, so we left, and went to my room. Julie went into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth. After she came out, I went in the bathroom.
I stared at the burnt guy in the mirror. I looked at the burns on his face, and the blue eyes that were centered in them. They were still alien, still foreign.
And then I looked at the smile, and I knew things were okay.
♥
“I think this has become my favorite thing,” Julie said softly. She was curled in my arms, her head on my chest, her feet against mine. Her fingers traced tiny circles on my shirt.
“Sleeping?” I asked.
I heard her laugh. It was soft, sweet.
“With you. I like laying beside you, knowing when I open my eyes, you'll be there,” she told me gently.
I smiled. “I like waking up to you too,” I told her.
“Do you think it'll scare you when you wake up tomorrow and remember I'm bald?” she asked.
“No. Nothing can scare me when it come to you,” I told her.
“You don't think I look disgusting?”
I moved to see her face, and I saw nothing but beauty. I knew what she was referring to, but I honestly wasn't disgusted when I looked at Julie. I felt pity, because she didn't deserve to be placed in this position, but no disgust.
“No. I think you look like a warrior. You're so beautiful, and strong. Besides, we're suppose to be lovely,” I replied.
She laughed and hugged herself closer to me. “You are lovely. You have a lovely body,” she said, her finger tracing my shirt again. It slowly moved to the center of my chest. “And a lovely soul.”
“I didn't know those could be lovely.”
“Yours is,” she said quickly, looking to me. “You have a beautiful soul.”
“So do you.”
“Damaged goods,” Julie said with a smile. “Our souls are always beautiful. They've had to fight, when they shouldn't have. They had to be both weak and strong. Our souls are tough,” she said softly.
“Our souls are one,” I told her, kissing her forehead. “Me and you. That won't ever change.”
She sighed in content and rested against me again. She was quiet for a while, and then I heard her soft voice. She was at the edge of sleep.
“Forever?” she said.
“Forever,” I replied.
♥
The next day, we went to the hospital. When we came in, Liam and Hilary were already there, setting up. Hilary tapped Liam on the shoulder, and he turned to look at us.
The smile that crossed his face was bright and joyful. “Hello, lovebirds,” he greeted, taking a moment to look at Julie. His smile became a little softer. “Lookin' good, Sketch.”
Julie smiled and shrugged. “I figured let's try something new,” she replied with confidence, but I knew it was still made her nervous. She ran her hand over her head to make herself feel better.
Hilary pulled at Liam's arm. “What's new? Liam? Blind over here?” Hilary said impatiently.
Liam laughed. “Julie has no hair. Buzzed it off,” he replied.
Hilary nodded and smiled. “Well, I think you look great. Considering,” she said, and Julie laughed. I liked the sound of that laugh. It was old and good.
“Thanks, Hil,” Julie told her, and she looked to me. “And you said they'd hate it.”
“Excuse me?”
“Falon, how could you say such a thing,” Liam said, holding his hand to his chest. “I am appalled,” he said, drawing the word out.
I gave him the bird, and he gasped.
Hilary pulled at his arm again. “What's going on? Everyone needs to tell me what they're doing so I'll know!” she said.
Liam rolled his eyes, and Hilary punched him. “Ow! What was that for?” he asked, rubbing the rib she had hit.
“I know you, Liam. You were rolling your eyes at me again,” she replied.
Julie and I both watched with smiles on our faces. It was nice to see them together, happy.
Kind of like us. Together. Happy. Alive.
A few months ago, I would have never thought I would have both a girlfriend, and friends. I would have never thought I’d have my own truck, or finished high school, or changed as a person so dramatically that I could look in a mirror and not feel complete and utter disgust anymore.
Things had changed, and that was okay.
I wouldn't give any of this up for anything in the world.
♥
“You know what we should do?” Liam asked.
We had spent the last few hours in total chaos. I had tried to keep Julie from doing anything as much as possible, but she still found ways
