“Where did he go last night?” His eyes instantly filled with guilt and he cringed a little.
“I don’t think you’ll want to know.” My breath stopped and I felt tears prick in my eyes. He still wasn’t looking at me. “We were very high if that makes it any better.” My mouth dropped now and I felt fury burning through my veins.
“Wait, what?” He turned to face me. “You were high?” I scoffed and watched as he nodded at me. I shook my head.
“Fucking unreal you lot are.” I was shocked by my honesty and I stood from the bed. Not really giving a toss that I was practically naked in front of him. I pulled a t-shirt over my head and heard him clear his throat.
“Jesus Avaya.” His already dark eyes darkened again and as I lowered mine I threw a pillow towards him.
“No,” I pointed at him. I didn’t want to hear another word out of his mouth. I made my way towards the hallway and watched as he followed me.
“Avaya.” He called after me, his voice was full of authority and I shook my head.
“No Jay. Don’t fucking Avaya me.” I stormed towards his room which is where I knew he would more than likely be and felt his large hand stop me from going in.
“Don’t open that door.” I watched fury fill them and growled at him.
“Move out of my way.” I stood my ground with my hand on top of his on his door handle.
“I mean it Av, he’s in a really bad way.” His eyes looked sad and I shook my head.
“Please Jay,” my voice was breaking now. I needed to know what the fuck he’d done. I watched him shake his head and release his hand from mine, I opened his bedroom door to see Harry passed out next to a skimpy blonde. I was pretty sure I gasped. My heart broke in two when I saw him. I shook my head as I looked up at Jay with tears in my eyes. I pushed his chest with my finger and frowned.
“You could have stopped this,” I could barely breathe “I didn’t deserve any of this!” I almost screamed and watched his head dip.
“I’m sorry Avaya.” I shook my head. Sorry wasn’t good enough. I felt my tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I skipped down the stairs away from them. I grabbed my shoes from the front door and scrambled to place them on my feet. I didn’t care that I wasn’t wearing a bra or just a t-shirt and vans. I didn’t care that it was 3 degrees outside. I watched him follow me down the stairs.
“Avaya, at least let me drive you home.” He almost whispered and I laughed.
“Are you kidding me?” I shook my head and pulled my keys from my handbag that was in the kitchen.
“Avaya please?” I pushed past him as I exited Alfie’s house. The door slammed behind me and I jogged towards my shitty little corsa parked on their drive. My teeth chattered as I started the engine and drove home. Tears dripped down my cheeks quicker than I could stop them. Salty ugly tears that didn’t stop.
I didn’t move from my bed. I was heavy, everything ached and I knew last night I’d be upset today but I wasn’t expecting to see that. I pushed the thought of him with someone else out of my head as the feeling of being punched in the chest returned. My phone beeped and I shook my head as I read it.
Haz: I’m so sorry
Me: I didn’t think you’d be so inhumane… Maybe you really are what you said you were.
I pressed the send button on my screen and wiped away my tears as I climbed from my bed. My mum was stood in the kitchen leant over the sink with a peeler in her hand. A million potatoes in the sink and I felt my throat constrict.
“Make yourself useful? Sue and Lucy are coming to dinner… I was convinced you wouldn’t be here? Do you mind helping?” I shook my head and gently took the peeler out of her hands. She looked at me and shook her head before she tilted her head.
“Why have you been crying?” Her voice was soft and I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about him. I felt tears threaten again and swallowed my sob as I peeled my first potato.
“I can’t,” I began to speak before my voice broke, my mum simply squeezed my shoulder softly and nodded. I didn’t cry. I had cried more knowing him than I ever had in my life. I closed my eyes slightly and watched her walk from the kitchen. I was left alone again and peeled the mountains of potatoes in our tiny kitchen.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and without looking I placed it to my ear.
“What?” I snapped.
“Av?” Nancy’s voice was a blessing to hear. I didn’t say a word for a short moment and I opened my mouth once more. “When do we go away?” I didn’t want to stay around here and I knew we’d got flights booked from months before. The end of the phone falls quiet.
“I’m glad you mentioned that, I completely forgot it was Soph who brought it up, it’s literally in like a week or so…” I nodded with relief and let out a sigh. “Anyway mum said she’s coming around to yours for dinner with your mum? Shall I come around?” I smiled to myself and nodded.
“I’d really like that.”
“Fab, see you soon love you” She placed the phone down quickly and I ran my hands over my legs. I placed my head in my
