His heavy breathing flows between us, and the silence is all the confirmation I need. “Not because I don’t want you or because you aren’t everything I’ve ever wanted. I can’t give myself back to you because you’re the sun, stars, and the air I breathe. You’re everything, and I can never be more than the shell I am now.”
I bring my hands up to his chest, needing him to really hear me just this once. “That’s where you’re wrong,” I say, feeling less brave than my voice sounds. “You just are too afraid to fight for me.”
His fingertips brush against my lips. “This is me fighting for you. Go, Sydney. Go before we make a mistake we can’t undo.”
Tears fill my vision, making his face blur away. They fall, cascading down my cheeks, and the pain of his rejection shreds me. “We could never be a mistake.”
Declan wipes the tears from my cheeks and then takes a step back. “You and I both know what our future is. I’ll go back to New York, and you’re moving closer to your sister. Go, Syd.”
And then I do what I should’ve done when I saw him standing here ... I walk away. Because there’s nothing I can do to change his mind, there is no hope for anything between us, and my heart can’t possibly endure another shot by an Arrowood.
Chapter Nineteen
Sydney
“You have a call,” Devney says as her head pops in my doorway.
“From?”
“A really sexy sounding British guy.”
Milo.
It’s been a week since my house went up for sale. I got an offer and sent it over to Milo to see if I was crazy. It is over asking, but they are a developer and want to split the farm into forty, ten-acre lots and then build big, million-dollar homes that they claim will fit into the small-town appeal of the area.
I’m not really sure how that works since most of the farmhouses here are original. We aren’t close to a major big city, so moving out here isn’t ideal for commuting. It doesn’t seem like a great idea, but what do I know?
“I’ll pick it up, please close the door.” She nods and then clicks it closed. “Milo?”
“Ahh, I knew I was unforgettable. How are things? Anything naughty or new that you want to share about Declan?” His accent slides over his name.
“No, but if there were, I probably wouldn’t tell you.”
“Smart girl.”
I laugh. “Did you get my email?”
“I did, and I actually have my gorgeous and much-too-good-for-me wife sitting here now. She looked over the offer and had her own ideas as well.”
“Oh!” I say excitedly. “Hello, Danielle.”
“Hello, Sydney. It’s great to sort of meet you. I’m sorry I couldn’t go out to your farm when Milo did, but we were in New York visiting our daughter, and I couldn’t slip away. Anyway, I heard a lot about you, plus, I’ve heard bits and pieces from Declan over the years.”
He’s talked about me to her too?
“Darling, you’ll give the girl the wrong idea,” Milo chides. “I’m sure Sydney knows that our Declan is a tortured soul who is the worst sort of a miserable bastard who only complains about women.” He drops to a low voice and says the rest as though it’s through the side of his mouth. “We must give her the wrong idea so she’ll want him more.”
Danielle huffs. “You’re an idiot. She should know that he has thought about her and has at least mentioned her.”
“Yes, but I’ve already done that.”
I smile as the two of them go back and forth.
“Clearly, not well.”
“I’ll give you not well.” Milo’s voice rises just a touch.
“I’m sorry about this,” Danielle returns her attention to me. “We tend to be a little stubborn and argumentative.”
I laugh softly. “I get it. I hate to push this along, but I have court in about an hour—”
“No, no,” Milo steps in. “I went over it, and I understand your hesitation, but really, it won’t be your problem once you sell. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but once you sign, you lose the right to dictate the use of the land.”
I sit back in my seat and let that settle over me. I knew all of this, of course. Still, I just hoped it would be a sweet family from Chicago who was tired of the city life and wanted to raise cows and make no money. It’s a charmed life—sort of.
“Are you saying I should take the offer?” I ask.
“No.”
“Yes.”
Milo and Danielle answer the opposite at the same time.
“Sydney,” Danielle begins before he can, “I’m from the States, so I feel more qualified to talk about this than Milo. If you sell, this legacy that you spoke of will be cut up and sold off. Now, you can take this offer, which is a good one, and make a lot of money—”
“Which is what you should do,” Milo says. “I assure you that no family is going to come in and buy your land at that price. A developer like Dovetail will see a greater profit and pay your asking price.”
It all makes sense, but it feels wrong.
A sympathetic sigh comes through the line. “I understand your hesitancy.” Danielle’s voice is soft. “I know you want to move quickly.”
“I need to move. I need to be settled. I can’t stay here.”
It’s best to sell the house, move, and let Declan know about the baby.
“Then give me another few days,” Milo suggests. “Let me look into this company a bit deeper. I’ll see if I can figure out a way to make this all work out the way you’re hoping it will.”
“I appreciate this. I really do. This farm has been in
