“I also am going to be alone, with a baby, no help, a farm, a law practice, and a million other reasons that I need to get out of there for.”
“Jimmy would run the farm,” she counters.
“Yes, but he wants to retire. He’s been doing this for a long time, and it’s selfish of me to ask him to stay on. If he left, I’d have to hire someone else and hope to God they do the things we need to sustain the farm. Even then, I don’t know that I can do it. I need my family.”
“What you really need is Declan.”
My head falls back, and I groan. My sister is worse than I am, and I’m pregnant and emotional. Declan isn’t going to give me what I want, so there’s no point in this conversation. “Living by you might just make me finally snap.”
She laughs once. “Please, you snapped a long time ago. Listen, I love you with my whole heart, but no one told you to list the farm the day after I suggested it. I didn’t think you’d actually give it up. You’re the one who dreamed of raising children there and growing old with the cows. I never did. The idea of moving back to Sugarloaf is enough to make my skin crawl.” She shudders as though it does. “I said it because I wanted to see what you’d do.” I open my mouth to say something, but she holds her hand up. “Not that I don’t love you and want you to be closer. God knows it would be great to have someone else around to help deal with Mom, but the point is that I didn’t think you’d actually list it. Threaten it, sure. Maybe talk to a realtor, okay fine, but not do it.”
I glare at my sister, and then suddenly, a wash of sadness comes over me. Tears prick my eyes, and I want to crumple into her arms and just lose it.
“Syd?”
“Why is this so hard?”
Sierra doesn’t hesitate before she wraps me in her arms and presses my head to her shoulder. “Oh, Syd, it’s supposed to be hard. Life is hard and people suck. Things don’t go our way, but we muddle through it.”
I lift my head, feeling stupid for breaking down. “People leave, Sierra. Men leave us. Look at how many times it has happened. I can’t stick around, hoping that he’ll be different. They always leave.”
“Alex hasn’t. I push him, most of the time without even meaning to, and he stays. Each time I think that this is finally it, he proves me wrong.”
“He’s a unicorn.”
She smiles. “Maybe, but if he is, then at least we know they exist. You have a right to be hurt, but you are also judging Declan on the past and, what I believe, is only half the information. I’m not telling you what to do, but at least talk to the man. Let him know you’re having his love child and see what he does.”
“And if he breaks my heart?”
Sierra tilts her head to the side. “Then I’ll chop his nuts off.”
Chapter Twenty
Declan
I’m sitting in my living quarters, if I can even call it that, going over emails. My clients have understood about my new schedule, and it’s been nice to go at a slightly slower pace. The two other financial advisers in my office have been working all the backend things for me as well.
Four years ago, this wouldn’t have been possible. I wasn’t able to take time off. I couldn’t make my own hours, and I sure as hell wouldn’t trust anyone to do what I could do. Now, I’m learning that I was an idiot.
An email comes in from Milo, and I open it immediately.
Declan,
I’ve done a bit of research regarding the company that submitted an offer on Sydney’s farm. It’s all on the up and up, but I can sense she’s apprehensive. Have you gotten any signals on which way she’s leaning?
The best person in the world,
Milo
I roll my eyes at his sign off and reply.
Jackass,
No, she hasn’t mentioned anything to me. Why is she apprehensive?
Man with the biggest dick ever,
Declan
I can’t wait to hear this response.
Sure enough, just a few seconds go by and my email pings.
Delusional Dickhead,
Let’s not even go there, mate. As for the lovely Sydney, I just know she wasn’t fully comfortable. The offer is above asking, and I have advised her to accept it, but she needed time. I can’t help but feel as though she’s running from something, not that we all don’t know what it could be ... you know, YOU.
I believe, as does Danielle, that she wants a family to take over. Someone who won’t divide the property and sell it off in pieces, but live there and love the place as she does.
The Undisputed God Amongst Men
I ignore the ending and desire to spar with him and focus on Sydney. She never mentioned wanting a specific type of buyer. Her goal is to leave Sugarloaf, so I figured that, if she got a good offer, she would take it.
Having a family buy it is a great idea, but it is not really what the current economic climate is doing, buying small dairy farms in the middle of Pennsylvania. No, the people here have been here. It’s a generational town. The more likely possibility would’ve been the neighboring farmers buying off her land to increase their own.
This need to fix this situation starts to build.
I know she’s leaving because I’m here, no matter what she says about wanting to be close to her family. There’s no reason for her to do that on my account. She’ll regret this decision in a few months, and I can’t let that happen.
I love her, and all I’ve ever wanted is for her to be happy and content. Forcing her to move away from
