“Which was?” Connor asks.
“I was busy buying her damn farm, which she pushed the sale up for. It was either it sold that day or she was pulling it and going to another buyer.”
Connor smirks. “So you’re pissed at her?”
“I’m pissed—no, I’m fucking livid. I can’t lose her! I need her to wake up. I need her to live. She wrote this fucking direction sheet that says if it’s her or the baby, we have to save him. I can’t …”
Connor steps forward, pulling me into his arms. My youngest brother, who I’ve been more like a father to than anything, comforts me. I slam my hand on his back, and he does the same. He grips my shoulders, pulling me back, and then sets his jaw. “It won’t come to that.”
“I wasted so much time.” I step back and walk to the window. “All these years, I’ve been so sure that staying away was the right thing. I thought I was giving her a chance at a life I couldn’t provide. Now, I want to erase it all. I would give up everything to have time with her. I just want a second chance to make it all right.”
He sits in the chair beside me. “A true second shot will split the first arrow and create a solid path.”
“A lot of good that advice is now. I know the path I want, it’s clear and solid, but it might have an ending.”
Connor laughs without humor. “I feel like Mom was telling us things we needed to hear, but we weren’t smart enough to actually listen.”
“I’m terrified I’m going to lose her.” I confess my deepest fear.
His hand squeezes my shoulder. “Don’t give up hope, Declan. Sydney needs to believe she has something to fight for. Be that for her.”
I’ll be everything she needs.
Chapter Thirty
Declan
“It’s been twenty-four hours. I need you to hear me, Bean. Wake up. Open your blue eyes and let me see you.” I try to urge her to wake again. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. All I do is alternate with Sierra or Ellie by her bedside. Mostly, they can’t get me out of here though.
“Declan,” Ellie says softly as she stands at the glass door. “Please take a break.”
“I’ll rest when she’s awake.”
She comes in the room farther and watches me. “Connor and I have to head home. I’m going to get you some clean clothes and bring them back tomorrow.”
“That’s fine.”
She sighs heavily, looking at me and then to Syd. “You’re making him crazy,” Ellie whispers, but it’s loud enough I can hear. “He hasn’t shaved, showered, or done much of anything but pester you. Let him out of his misery, Syd. He loves you, and I promise that you can kill him if he hurts you again. We have enough land between the two of us to hide a body.”
I huff with a smile, thinking of how much she’d love that.
Ellie turns to me. “Call me if anything changes?”
“I will.”
She comes to my side and kisses my cheek. “At the least try to eat something. You’re no good to her if you’re worn down.”
I don’t say anything because food is the last thing I care about.
More hours pass, but nothing changes. All I can do is sit, waiting for any movement that doesn’t come. I watch, thinking maybe her eyelids will flutter. Maybe her fingers will twitch, but they don’t. I beg, plead, and bargain with her, but she doesn’t move.
I lean back in the chair, defeat filling my body and leaving my limbs heavy. The doctor explained to Sierra and me this morning that they’re going to run another battery of tests because this is definitely abnormal.
Something is wrong, and they have no idea where to start.
Everything about this situation, from the time I got to New York all the way until this moment, has been surreal and abnormal. I need the universe to get its act together and straighten up before I lose my mind because I don’t know if I can take much more.
My brothers call, but I don’t answer, there’s nothing to say, and I can’t explain the situation again.
I close my eyes for just a second as the heaviness weighs me down. I’m exhausted, but I can’t give up.
“Will you love me forever?”
“Forever and always,” I reply as Sydney gives me a sly smile and dips her toes into the pond.
“Good answer.”
In just a few weeks, we’ll both head off to college. It’s been a summer that neither of us will forget. After as much bad shit as I’ve endured, each moment with her is heaven. Sydney is the best thing in the world.
“What about you?” I ask her back.
Syd shrugs with a gleam in her eyes. “Depends on if you deserve it.”
I clutch my chest, falling back to the ground. “You wound me.”
She rushes over, her hands covering my mock wound as she kisses me. “Never. I would save you.”
“You already have saved me.”
“Yeah?”
More than she can ever know. Just her smile makes it easier to breathe. Her touch soothes the bruises and pain inflicted by my father’s hands, and her love reminds me that there is good in the world.
“Everyday.”
Syd lies beside me, both of us now facing the summer sky. Her fingers entwine with mine. It’s a simple touch, but it feels like everything.
“Do you think we’ll get married?”
I turn to look at her. “I know we will.”
“Have kids?”
“If that’s what you want …”
Syd’s blue eyes meet mine. “I want to have kids with you. Two boys and a girl.”
“Are you placing an order?” I laugh.
“No, just letting you know what to expect. I want our oldest to be Deacon.”
I roll my eyes at the name. “Why not just name him Declan then?”
“Because you’re the only Declan my heart can ever love. I want his name to be
