Please God, no.
No, don’t let this be happening.
Then I see Jane, her tears are falling, head shaking back and forth as she clutches her mouth.
My world ends as I pull her into my arms, hoping for a miracle but knowing I’ve just lost her.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sydney
People are everywhere, rushing around, and I can’t focus on anything. It’s as though I’ve been dreaming and have no idea how long I’ve been asleep.
I close my eyes again, trying to get my bearings. I know I’m in a hospital. There’s a constant beeping of machines while nurses rush around me, and wires pulling at my arms. Not to mention, it smells like a hospital. A bit of antiseptic cleaner and rubber.
“Sydney?” A deep male voice calls.
I look to him and he smiles softly. “Yes.”
The doctor lifts a light and shines it in my eyes while asking me a question. “Do you know where you are?”
“The hospital,” I croak. My throat feels like I’ve swallowed knives. It’s raw and scratchy and so dry.
“That’s right.” He continues to check me over, moving my body, squeezing my hands. “Can you squeeze back.”
I do, and he nods approvingly. “Good. Do you remember me?”
Do I? I think I do. I know he’s a doctor, and he looks familiar, but I am so tired and groggy. It’s as though I’m in a fog. I can see things, but nothing is clear. Everything feels distant and hazy. “I just ... I can’t remember.”
He nods. “That’s normal.”
Normal? Normal for what? I don’t know what’s happening to me or my baby.
The baby.
Oh God.
My hand flies to my stomach as I scramble to remember what happened.
“The baby is fine.” The doctor puts his hand on mine. “We’ve been monitoring him while you’ve been in a coma.”
I’ve been in a coma?
“What? How long? My sister?” I barely get the words past my lips because my throat screams out in pain again.
I try to recall something about what happened. I remember going in for the surgery, and that’s it. I don’t … understand what’s happening. I don’t feel like time has passed, but then again, I have no idea what day it is.
The nurse brings me a cup of ice chips. “Take it slow,” she instructs.
“I’m Doctor Voigt, and I was your surgeon. I need you to stay calm so we keep your heart rate steady for the baby. Do you remember having the surgery?”
I nod. And now that I’ve heard his name, it rings a bell. I take an ice chip into my mouth and breathe through my nose. I won’t do anything to harm the baby.
“Good. The surgery went well, the tumor is gone and the baby is healthy, but you’ve been unconscious for a week now. We’re not sure why, but we’re very happy you’re awake now. Your family is outside, they’ve been here the entire time. I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but I’d like to bring them in here to see you, if that’s okay?”
The desire to see someone familiar is too great to pass up. “Please.”
Dr. Voigt smiles and then heads out of the room. When the glass door slides open again, my mother walks in with tears streaming down her face.
“Oh, Sydney!” She moves quickly to my side, taking my face in her hands. “I’ve been so scared. We all have.” Her hands fall, she looks back and then I see him.
Declan stands in the doorway, his eyes swollen, hair a mess, and God knows how long it’s been since he’s shaved.
He looks beaten.
He looks beautiful.
He looks absolutely terrified.
I turn back to my mother, needing not to look at him. Pieces of my memory flare up when I remember that Declan wasn’t here earlier. He was in New York. He left me after I told him everything and begged him to love me.
It doesn’t matter that he’s clearly shaken now. It’s too little too late.
“The baby, he’s fine, right?”
She smiles through her tears. “Yes, baby, you and the baby are just fine. Everything is okay now, and the surgery went well. It’s been … trying, to say the least, but you’re awake and … oh, it’s so good to see you.”
I can hear the relief in her voice, and I hate that she was so worried. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
Declan shifts, and as much as I try to focus on my mother, it’s impossible not to notice him. My mom turns to Declan and then back to me before taking a step back. “I’m going to call Sierra and Ellie. I think you two need a moment.”
I don’t take my eyes away from him as he steps into the room. The glass closes behind him, and the fog I was under before is back, only it’s everything else but him that’s out of focus.
Declan is here. I don’t know why or what he hopes for, but he’s here and he looks as though he’s been through war.
His eyes are on mine as he moves toward me, hesitation flowing thickly between us.
“Say something,” his voice rasps.
“Why are you here?”
His eyes close for a beat, and then he is at my side. “Because I love you. I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman, and I was coming to you that day. I went to the doctor’s office after everything that could’ve gone wrong did. I missed the appointment, and I was … God, I was chasing you. Just like you asked. I’ve been here, and I’m not leaving you again, Sydney.”
All the words I’ve longed to hear fall from his lips, but I can’t think. I am so lost and confused. I rest my hand on my stomach and lean my head back. Right now, I have to digest the fact that I’ve been in a coma. “Tell me about the last week.”
When I open my eyes, I see the hurt painting his features, but he shields
