My mum used alcohol to excuse her actions and I let her, but I never thought Reid would do the same, he knows my mum is a drinker, he knows how I feel about it “So you did, you gave it to her” I choke out, id promised my innocence to him years ago, even when we fell apart I didn’t give it to anyone else, I didn’t know how, he was my life.
I thought we were forever.
“You broke my heart, you ripped it out in front of everyone. I ran away from my home for two years because of you!“ Subconsciously, I know it wasn’t totally his fault, but I can’t see beyond me hurting and him moving on with her. It feels like he’s cheated our trust, I never moved on, I never let another man touch me, even when he told me to move on and forget about him. Now, I find he’s been rolling around with the one person who split us up, it burns me to even contemplate it “I have to go, I can’t be around you right now” I strangle out as I make a dash for the door “Beck’s I’m so sorry, if I even thought you would come back I wouldn’t have ever contemplated it. I thought I’d lost you forever, if I could go back, I would change everything. I felt sick the next day, I gave her something id promised to someone else a long time ago” he says chasing after me “I love you Beck’s, please just stay so we can talk about it” he pleads with me as he follows me down the drive “I need to be alone right now” I tell him as I unlock my car, I need space away from him, all this time I held on to us, I thought there was always a way back, but now I’m not so sure.
Chapter Seven
Pulling up at my mums house I hoped to god she wasn’t here, I needed to grab some last bits I’d forgotten and I needed be somewhere away from anything to do with Reid right now. Not seeing her car, I walk round to the back of the house. Moving the plant pot by the back door, I grab the spare key, I’d left it here years ago after mum took my keys and locked me out when I was 15, I was out in the cold for 5 hours before she finally let me back in. Unlocking the back door, I check the house is quiet. Satisfied it is, I move to go up to my room, I need to get this done fast. Seeing it empty is weird and a little unreal. Lifting the mattress, I grab my leather-bound diary that I had forgotten. My whole life was in this book, I hadn’t picked it up in years, but all the good times with Reid had been poured out onto the pages. I knew I couldn’t leave it here and risk my mum getting hold of it, even if having it makes my heart ache. Seeing an earring under the bed I bend down the grab it, hearing the front door slam I freeze, I should have parked my car down the street in case this happened, now I can’t sneak out, stupid stupid Becca!
I creep onto the landing and listen out for noise, when I hear my mum laughing, I realise she isn’t alone. This isn’t good, any guys she’s ever brought back here have always been creep’s, I always made sure to lock my door and keep myself hidden after the first time she brought a man home. I was 12 and the guy was leering at me and talking to my mum about buying me for the night, I was old enough to understand that it wasn’t right, I ran up to my bedroom and locked the door before hiding under my bed until I heard him leave. Sex noises coming from downstairs right now means she’s entertaining and was either too drunk to notice my car, or didn’t care. Not wanting to be in this house a second longer I decide to risk it, I creep down the stairs as quietly as I can muster, sounds of slapping flesh can be heard from the front room making me want to vomit. Ducking down as much as I can, I creep past the living room door and go to the front door to find she’s locked it. Damn it, I’ll have to try and creep to the back door. The kitchen is open plan into the front room, so I’m going to have to be as quiet as I can until I get to the it. I should have just stayed upstairs until they passed out, I’m taking a big risk being down here.
Hoping they are distracted I make my way slowly to the kitchen, I’m almost at the back door when I feel a hand grab
