After the silence stretched out for long enough that it was becoming uncomfortable, Ash just shook her head and walked out, leaving the breakfast she’d been making behind.
I heard one of the inner doors slam, and I knew better than to follow her.
The worst part was that I knew she wasn’t wrong. I was the one who was so quick to push the contract when I wanted to get what I wanted, and now that she was doing the same thing, it felt unfair.
Was this how she’d felt for the last six months? Doing things only because I made her feel like she didn’t have a choice?
It opened a pit in my stomach, and I sighed, rubbing at my forehead. I had no idea where to go from there. It felt like the camaraderie we’d been building up was shattered, and I didn’t know how to put it back. And we were out there in the middle of nowhere, just the two of us, on what was supposed to be a relaxing and fun retreat.
I didn’t think there was going to be anything relaxing or fun about it for the rest of the trip.
Eventually, I was going to have to learn when to keep my mouth shut, honestly.
I understood why she was pissed off. I didn't have the right to go around making demands of her. And she was right, there was nothing romantic about the way things were set up between us.
I couldn't even honestly say that I wanted there to be.
I hadn't done anything romantic in nature in years. That wasn't how my life was set up. I took advantage of the... well, advantages of being rich and handsome when I could. I went to the club, and I charmed women, and I used my skills to pleasure them and get my own pleasure.
It had never felt empty or hollow until recently.
Because there was something about having a long-term connection with someone. There was something about knowing how they were going to react and using that to help build scenes and expectations.
Ashlyn was predictable, but it was in all the best ways, and I never found myself bored or unfulfilled with her.
It was something shocking to realize because that wasn't at all how things usually went for me. Usually after seeing someone a couple of times, I was ready to move on to someone else.
I hadn't called Eve in a while, case in point. She was lovely and eager, but there was something missing when it came to our interactions.
I didn't know if it was because she thought I could do no wrong or because she just made me think about Ash, but when Ash wasn't there, it wasn't the same.
Looking at it like that, I was a little irritated. No one had asked her to come along and make everything more complicated than it needed to be. My life had been fine before she'd come crashing into it, changing my standards and making me want things I had never wanted before.
And even standing there in the kitchen with the breakfast she'd abandoned, I couldn't lie to myself like that.
After all, I was the one who'd come crashing into her life, and I was the one who had dragged her into all of this.
So, I only had myself to blame.
Chapter 13
Ashlyn
Staying in that cabin with Killian after our fight made it the most awkward weekend of my life, probably, and that included several awkward trips with my parents when I was a teenager and just discovering my sexuality and stuff, so that was saying something.
Because there was something so uncomfortable about being in a house with someone you were determined not to speak to, even if that house was massive, and the chances of running into each other went down the further away you got.
I moved my stuff out of the master bedroom, and found a room to sleep in. That one even had a bathtub right off of it, and if it was a regular tub, not a whirlpool one, I told myself that was a fair sacrifice to not have to deal with Killian's shit.
I was furious, honestly.
He had no idea what he really wanted with me. He didn't even really want me. He just wanted to be the only one who got a chance to have me, which was some possessive bullshit if I'd ever heard it.
Probably some of those women who fawned all over him would consider it a compliment and tell me I was being ridiculous for being mad that he wanted to have me all to himself.
And... I could admit there was a little part of me that was into that. The fact that he could have anyone out there that he wanted, and he wanted me. There was a little pride, and a little warm thrill at the way he looked at me when he said he didn't want me to be with anyone else.
But that was a very small part compared to the parts of me that were pissed off that he thought he got to make those kinds of calls about my life.
And without offering anything like the same in return. So he could put a leash on me, tell me I was his, and then go out and do whatever he wanted, and I was just supposed to be fine with that? I was just supposed to let him tell me who I could and couldn't see and not have any issues with it?
No. There was no way in hell that was happening.
I had half a mind to call a cab and have them take me back home and make Killian pay for it since he was the one who had ruined this trip, but it was nice to be away from the city, so I tried to enjoy it the best I could.
I watched movies in the big theater room. I cooked for myself in the massive kitchen. I soaked in the tub. I texted Simon.
I
