My mom is extra perky as I’m leaving. She’s gone out on another date with the same guy and she’s being quiet with the details, but it seems like she’s excited. I’ve tried to ask about him and she just says she doesn’t want to jinx it by talking about him too soon. The thought of a man around the house doesn’t warm my heart. It was a relief when my dad left. The fighting was out of control, his jealousy was over the top, and the way they dealt with me regarding Luke became a point of contention between the two of them.
I’ve heard from my dad maybe twice since we moved here. My mom doesn’t talk to him at all. It’s weird how he’s dropped out of our lives. I didn’t believe he ever would, but I’m okay with it. He was never around all that much, and when he was, I wished he’d hurry up and leave.
With the red lilies showing up and what I’ve dealt with at school, I’ve had enough to think about to give my dad much thought, but all this with Raf has made me wonder if I’m chasing what I know. I grew up with a controlling father. Why wouldn’t I run from a guy who’s trying to pull the same act, instead of obsessing over him?
I’m disappointed in myself for not being stronger. There are times I give the attitude right back to Raf, but when he kisses me or touches me, I lose all reason. I’m ashamed that I’m this weak.
I don’t want to think about what my dad will do when he knows my mom is dating again. The fact that they’re divorced might make all the difference, but it’s giving me one more thing to be anxious about. I haven’t told my mom about the flowers and I don’t want to.
I drive myself to school and park across from Raf’s car. He still hasn’t gotten it fixed and it’s a constant reminder of my first interaction with him. I should’ve run then.
I’m weary when I reach my locker and again, stand as far back as I can just in case something is waiting to fly out. Nothing does, but this time, there are pictures posted all over the walls of my locker. All sex scenes. A picture falls out and I gasp. It’s a picture of my mom in a horrifying position, every body part on full display. The picture is grabbed before I can reach it and I look up to see it in Heidi’s hands as she studies it, the grin stretching across her face.
“Well, well, what do we have here? Looks an awful lot like you, but not quite…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” She steps closer and waves the picture around, getting in my face. “Didn’t take long for your little whore pedigree to come to light.”
Raf stands past her, a few feet away, listening to every word. His expression dares me to turn this into a war.
“Did you do this?” My voice catches so I don’t say anything else.
Why? Why would he or anyone else do this? Heidi I can kind of understand, but with Raf’s whore comment, it seems more likely that it’s him.
I snatch the picture out of her hands and shrug, tossing it back in my locker before slamming the door. “My mom still holds the title for the highest paid porn star. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who she is.” I point at Raf and the color drains a bit from his face. “Raf met her when he came over, so looks like the guy you’re wanting so badly has a thing for MILF porn.”
Heidi glances back at Raf and flushes, not liking the direction this is going. I’m not broken enough for her, not dismayed that the truth is out.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if there are videos of you too,” she says loud enough for me to hear.
That does get to me, but I hold my head high and lean close enough to see her dilated pupils. “Stay out of my business.”
Her eyes burn and she doesn’t look scared at all. Ashton comes around the corner then and he hustles over when he sees that Heidi is in my face.
“Go away, Heidi,” he says. “Quit creating drama where there is none.”
She cackles. “There’s plenty of drama where this one is concerned.”
But she walks off and I sag into Ashton as he hugs me. “You okay?”
“Not really, but I will be.”
“Come on, let’s get to class. Ignore that bitch.”
When I pull away, Raf is still standing there watching. He looks like he wants to hit something and I can’t help but grin when I walk by.
“That didn’t exactly go as you were hoping, did it?” I shoot up my middle fingers and turn around, feeling the heat of his anger on me as I walk away.
“Well played. I didn’t see the picture, but I heard enough to get the gist. Care to explain any of this to me?” Ashton says.
“I’ll tell you. Tonight. I think it’s already out anyway.”
Chapter Twelve
It’s a long day of pointing and laughing and jeers and pranks and just a general hellishness that feels endless. The worst is when I go to my locker after lunch and find a packet of coke, front and center. I glance around to see who is watching and don’t see anyone suspicious. I take it to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. When my locker is searched by the principal fifteen minutes later, I hope to God I got it all out in time. Good thing I cleared the pictures out earlier.
Fuck me.
“I apologize for this search, Ms. Sinclair. It was brought to my attention that you have drugs in your locker and that you’ve been seen doing drugs on more than one occasion.” Mr. Saunders tries to stare
