“Your dress is nice, but it is not good for nursing,” Daisy says. A blanket is placed over her shoulder to give her privacy and Allen is set against her skin. He immediately starts rooting and grunting before latching on.
“We shall have to remedy that soon,” Daisy says with a nod of determination. Delaney goes still and stares at her mother as Allen latches on to feed.
“Allen, right?” Anika asks Sue.
“Yes, they look almost… identical, but he is bigger and has a dimple on his chin.”
Delaney leans over her mother’s shoulder to watch. Allen is drinking greedily and grunting. Delaney giggles. “He sounds like a little piggy. Does it hurt, Mama?” She asks softly.
Anika is quick to reassure her. “With the first child, it did, because I didn't know what I was doing. I learned quickly. You were a great teacher, and now it actually feels good. If I don't feed every few hours it becomes painful,” Anika explains.
“Oh, that’s not good.” She says staring at the infant in fascination. “Did Rosie look like this, Mama?” Anika looks up swiftly and nods no.
Glenn is just about to go downstairs when Delaney asks the question. He leans in closer to the door in the hallway to hear the answer.
“She was much smaller than this love. That’s why she couldn’t stay, but you understand she’s in Heaven now. There is no pain in Heaven, only love.”
“But Daddy is there, and he liked to give you pain, Mama. Will he hurt Rosie?” Anika struggles not to cry, but she knows this is important. She ignores the women in the room and answers the best way she can.
“No, because Daddy's heart has been healed, Delaney. All his pain and anger are gone now. The Bible says that God doesn't allow us to be hurt in heaven.” Delaney isn't convinced, but she accepts the answer for now.
Glenn wipes away a tear as he struggles with the how’s and why’s of this situation they find themselves in. Anger is boiling just beneath the fear, hurt and pain. Unable to stand it he storms off to make tea.
“Delaney, would you like to help me bake some cookies?” Daisy asks.
“Can I Mama?” Delaney asks.
“Yes, Angel. Thank you, Daisy.” Anika watches her daughter run over to Sue and touch her hand.
“Goodbye Mrs. Sue,” she says. Sue smiles and grips her hand.
“Thank you… for sharing your Mama, Delaney.”
Delaney shrugs and says, “My Mama is the best.”
Daisy places Allen beside his mother and hands Quinton to Anika before she guides her from the room. A tentative hand touches his, and he grips her finger tightly causing Sue to smile.
Anika clears her throat as she avoids Sue's eyes. “My husband was damaged after the war. Whiskey, lager, moonshine any kind of alcohol became his refuge, instead of me. I tried to be what he needed, but it only angered him more. He left us with next to nothing, and I would like to get Delaney away from the bad memories and give us time to heal.”
Sue smiles at this young woman who has seen so much loss and suffering but still manages to put her daughter’s needs before her own. Just as she did for their sons, her heart whispers.
Glenn returns with tea and is about to knock only to stop at Sue’s words.
“I prayed for you, Anika. I prayed, and I held on…” she draws in a deep breath, “because I know that God doesn't allow pain without reason.” Tears flow freely now, and she is gasping for breath as she watches another woman feed her son.
“Don’t try to speak, Sue, I will go get Glenn.” Sue shakes her head no and wipes at her eyes as Anika stands up and moves towards her.
“Let me… tell you.” Panting, she pushes herself forward, desperate to be heard. “I didn’t know…”
“You didn’t know what, Sue?” Anika asks.
“I didn’t know that he would take your daughter to save my sons… forgive me,” she pleads.
The teacups shutter on the tray as the gravity of her words strikes Glenn in his heart. He leans back against the hallway wall and bows his head in horror.
Anika lays Quinton on the bed, buttons her dress and takes Sue's hand. “No. Rosie died because my husband savagely beat me. I was too weak to save her, but you fought and saved them. Your boys are a gift. Look at them, Sue.”
They are laying stretched out beside each other, and their mouths move as if still sucking. Sue smiles through her tears.
“God gifted you with two beautiful sons and they will grow in grace. You can rest knowing they are strong, healthy and loved.” Sue leans back and clasps her hand.
“I want to… hold them. Will you help… me?” Her breathing is growing shallower, and Anika hurries to help her.
“Of course,” she murmurs.
Glenn steps into the room and sucks in a breath. Sue is vibrating with excitement as she looks at her babies. Her skin looks grey next to the healthy, pink color of the boy’s skin.
Anika ignores Glenn’s presence and moves quickly to help her. She props a pillow under each arm and tucks both boys against their mother. One in each arm.
“This is the first time… I could hold them without the screaming.” Sue stares in awe at each baby. “They are so beautiful. I did good, didn’t I?”
“You did amazing,” Anika replies with a shaky smile.
“Thank you for coming.” Sue looks up and smiles.
“I’ll leave you with your husband now.” Anika moves to the door and stops when Sue calls out to her.
“You are wrong Anika, calling yourself weak.” Her voice grows stronger, and she leans forward, “When I go to heaven, I
