Glenn is unaware of the tears streaming down his face, “It’s the silence after. The moaning, begging and pleading to God for help. The same God I prayed to.” Anger rears and Glenn beats at his chest. “Some of us stayed and gave them what they asked for. It was a mercy compared to the wait others had.”
Silence falls for a few minutes while Glenn struggles to compose himself.
“Throughout the Bible, Glenn, war is shown as an inescapable reality. This world is condemned, and there is evil on this earth that must be stopped. Sometimes bloodshed is the result. Whether a soldier will be allowed entrance into heaven depends on his own conscious. I don’t believe killing in combat is a sin, though it can be. In fact, there are many wars mentioned in the Bible.”
“I know that Pastor but,” Glenn stops when Pastor Donegal gets angry.
“No! If you hear nothing else today, hear this. Your entrance into Heaven is not determined by whether you killed during war, but by your faith in a Merciful God. There is no deed big enough to cleanse our souls, we are all born sinners. It is only through God’s mercy that we are forgiven. The stones of anger, rage, guilt, and shame are weighing you down. Will you let them bury you, too? Enough men have died. To receive Gods mercy, you must first show yourself mercy.”
Glenn hangs his head, “I want to be better, do better. I’m just not sure where to start.”
“You just did, son. Recognize that you aren’t alone, Glenn, and realize that only God has the right to judge us. Talk to your family. They love you and will understand. In time you could be a resource to other men who’ve come home with these same feelings. Some turn to alcohol, some to women, others to violence, but they all deserve to know they aren’t alone.”
“Will you pray for me, Pastor?” Glenn asks.
“I can do better than that, I can pray with you.” Together they walk into the church to pray.
Anika soaks in a hot bath till it's tepid then dries off and puts on a riding shirt with the denims she borrowed from Savannah. All cried out she feeds the boys, savoring the way they feel in her arms. If things don't change, hard choices will have to be made, but not today. “That pig is not going to ruin my plans. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off with Delaney.” She asks the housekeeper to prepare a picnic lunch only to find Delaney sewing with Daisy.
“If it’s okay, Mama, I want to stay with Mrs. Daisy.”
“Of course, if Mrs. Daisy says it’s okay.”
“I’d love the company. Are you sure you should be riding?” She asks with a worried glance at Delaney.
“I’m fine. I hope you both can forgive me for yelling at Glenn, but...”
Daisy stands up quickly and steps in front of her. “You said what needed to be said at least you were brave enough to face the beast inside of him.”
“Mr. Glenn's not a beast, his hearts just broke. Mama's gonna fix it, right Mama?”
“Delaney I can’t...”
“You have to Mama,” she jumps and runs to grab her hands, “sometimes his bad dreams keep him up, and he's calling for help, but no one helps him. You have to save him, Mama.”
Daisy covers her mouth with her hand and fights tears, how could they all have been so blind.
Anika stoops down and hugs her daughter tight. “Delaney, I love your heart. It is a beautiful reflection of God’s love. I will promise to pray really hard and be a good friend to Glenn, okay, but only God can heal what is broken.”
“We can love him really hard, and then God will heal his heart.”
“Of course. I’m going to ride to the pond and enjoy the sunshine, do you want to come with me?”
“No, I want to work on my sewing.” Delaney skips back to her chair, and Daisy wipes her cheek and smiles at Anika.
“You have an amazing daughter.”
Pride fills her heart. Anika nods and leaves quickly then straps on the lunch basket and mounts her horse. A smile of exhilaration flickers as she kicks the horse into a trot. Allen watches her leave from the barn and grins when his wife and Delaney walk over.
“Two of my favorite girls,” he calls out.
“Where’s Glenn?” Daisy asks.
“Checking fences.” Allen smiles as Delaney chases a kitten around the yard.
“Anika is riding to the pond, for a picnic. What do we do Glenn? How do we help them?” Daisy frets.
“We don’t. Just this once we’re going to be still and let God handle it. He is working on it, we just have to trust.” He pulls his wife into his arms and kisses her forehead.
“It’s so hard to watch them suffer.” She sighs melting into his hug.
“Yep. Now, where's my lunch?” Daisy groans and Delaney giggles.
“Your always hungry, Mr. Allen.”
“Hungry for little girls,” he growls, and Delaney runs screaming with Allen chasing her.
Chapter 24
Anika waits till she is out of sight of the main house and then urges the horse into a run. Images of her childhood in the Virginia mountains roll through her mind. She races across the field, laughing and puts her face up to the sun.
Glenn is riding back to the barn slowly when he hears her laughter. He watches as Anika races across the field in a moment of unabandoned joy and a smile curves his lips. Decision made he kicks his horse into a gallop and follows.
A frown of annoyance flickers when she recognizes the rider coming towards
