“A couple of weeks ago, I went in for a cheek swab to see if I’m a match with her tissue type. The results came back, and I’m not a match. From what he explained, that’s not uncommon. A family member will match only thirty percent of the time. But I’d hoped we’d be in that lucky category.”
“Now what happens?”
“Now, we pray someone on the donor registry will be the best tissue match for her, and that they’ll answer when they’re called. The problem is, it can take anywhere from several weeks to several months to find a match going that route. It’s just really disappointing and I worry about how much more she can take.”
“She’s strong-willed, Rod, and she’s a mother. She will endure whatever she has to not to leave her daughter. She won’t give up.”
“I know you’re right, but she’s all… I’ve spent my entire life protecting her. Taking care of her. Now I feel—” He hesitates for a moment, searching for the word that’s on the tip of his tongue.
“Helpless.” I understand that word all too well.
After an extended silence and soul-touching stare, he nods. “Helpless.” He scrapes his hand over his face and squeezes his eyes shut. “She beat T-Cell Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when she was five years old. She was so sick, but she was so brave.
“Our father went to pick up her medicine at the pharmacy one night and never came back. He left a note on the table that basically said he couldn’t take the pressure anymore. Every day since then, I’ve strived never to be our father.”
“You took care of her during that time?” He couldn’t have been more than fourteen years old.
“Yeah, I did. I slept in a chair beside her bed every night in case Juliana needed me, and so Mom could rest between her multiple jobs. So to come this far only to lose her now is like adding insult to injury. It also makes me hate our father so much more.”
The empath in me wants nothing more than to gather him in my arms and hug the pain away, but the realist in me forbids it. I’m keeping my distance from him for a reason. Conversations about Juliana and Isa are fine, but any feelings for him are against the rules. My rules. But these glimpses into his past and his psyche are more telling than anything else I’ve heard from him.
That he only mentioned his mother in passing, but with such reverence, reveals a lot too. She slept while he watched over the little one, so he felt responsible for her well-being too. His heart is bigger than he shows, but it’s guarded inside an impenetrable fortress.
“You know I’ll do whatever I can to help. I’ll be glad to get tested, organize a drive to test as many as possible, whatever she needs.” I almost said, “whatever you need,” but caught myself in the nick of time.
“We’ll take any help we can get. She needs this transplant to beat the cancer. Everything takes time, so all we can do is keep her going until then. Thanks for letting me bend your ear. I needed a few minutes to process all the information the doctor just threw at me before talking to Isa.” He leans back in his chair, his eyes drifting to the window, and he stares off into space.
“Don’t tell her anything yet. You don’t have enough answers and she shouldn’t be left in limbo right now. Juliana will continue treatment until we find a match. Until then, everything stays the same, and that’s all Isa needs to know.”
“You’re right. In a way, I wish I didn’t know either. Thank you, Daisy. For everything.” The look he’s giving me is far too intimate, too grateful for my help and my presence during this grueling time.
“No need to thank me. I’ll look into the registry when I get home tonight. We should probably go to the kitchen and help Louise with the kids now.” I stand and move to the door before my emotions get the better of me.
He’s hurting and I want to comfort him, but I have to keep my distance to protect myself. Intense situations like this one create too much confusion and blur lines I don’t intend to cross. One touch, regardless of the innocent intent, and I’d lose all composure. I knew he’d break my heart the moment I met him. My mind tried to warn me, tried to reason with me, but I wouldn’t listen, and I’ve paid the price for my stubbornness.
With my back to him, I twist the doorknob and release a relieved sigh because freedom is only a step away. Then his hand flattens against the door and his chest pushes against my back.
“Wait.” His lips graze the shell of my ear. His deep voice sends a wave of goosebumps down my arm. “I don’t know how to make up for what I did in Punta Cana. If there was any one thing, hell, even a hundred things, that would let me take it all back, I’d gladly do it.
“Before you go, I want you to know something. The reason I left the island without saying anything is because I had a voicemail about Juliana’s cancer. When I heard it, I was incapable of doing anything except getting back home to her. I helped raise her, Daisy. She’s almost as much my daughter as she is my little sister, and she’s all I have left of my family. If my rushed departure hurt you in any way, I sincerely apologize. I simply couldn’t think straight.”
“Thank you for telling me that, Rod. Don’t think you have to apologize for that, though. It’s completely understandable, and anyone in the world would’ve done the same for their siblings. Had I gotten that
