I’m my own worst enemy, sabotaging every chance we have to have any kind of relationship.
“We’d better go so we’re not late.” Juliana tries to herd me toward the door.
“It’s not as if my plane will leave without me.”
“That’s not what I meant. The others shouldn’t have to wait for us, Rod.” She rolls her eyes at me, not bothering to hide it.
Juliana and Isa walk out to my car while I take one last look around to make sure we haven’t forgotten anything. When I slide behind the wheel, I glance over at my sister and concern immediately grips me. She’s already tired after walking from the kitchen into the garage. I’ve always looked forward to the future, never fearing it, until now. The possibility of losing my sister is too real, and more than I think I can bear.
“You’re wasting time staring at me. Start the car and drive us to the airport, peon.” She doesn’t bother to look at me when she issues her command.
“Yes, ma’am. Whatever you say.”
Despite Juliana’s attempt to be the first to arrive, we’re actually the last. No one seems to mind, though, since they’re all talking and laughing. Madeleine, the home health care nurse, is here, already part of the gang as if she’s always known them. When we join them, the excitement of Christmas and a beach vacation rolled into one gets the better of us, and we’re like one big pack of kids. The private airstrip staff checks in our luggage and informs us we’re free to board the plane.
“I’m glad your mom enjoys entertaining large groups. How does she feel about loud and rowdy ones?” My attempt to engage Daisy is obvious, but I don’t care as long as it works.
“She’s used to that. My entire family will be there at one time or another. There’s not much she hasn’t seen or heard by now.” Daisy’s answer is polite, but there’s a coolness to it I can’t pretend I don’t feel.
When we walk out onto the tarmac, I notice Juliana intentionally places herself at the end of the line before we reach the jet. Daisy notices, too, and nonchalantly moves to the back of the line to stand beside Juliana. The captain emerges to verify my identity before contacting the tower for clearance to take off, giving me a chance to watch Daisy and Juliana without being overt.
The two ladies chat continuously as they climb the stairs. Daisy is in front of Juliana, stopping on each step to say something to her as the rest of the troop sit down and buckle in. To anyone else, they’re simply engaged in conversation. But I know better. I know Daisy is helping her in the only way she knows how—she’s preserving Juliana’s dignity by appearing to be the one delaying our departure.
My heart swells inside my chest until I think it’ll rupture. She’s the most loving and thoughtful person I’ve ever met.
The captain finishes with my identification just as they buckle into their seats, and the crew instructs us to prepare for takeoff. Luckily, I secure a chair facing Daisy, directly across from her. Isa decides to exercise her freedom, from all the way across the aisle, and sits beside Madeline. By the time we reach cruising altitude, Juliana is fast asleep, but her skin isn’t as pale as it was before.
“Stop worrying.” Madeleine directs her comment to me while removing the stethoscope from her bag. “Her body’s been through a lot, so it’ll take time to rebuild her stamina. She’s a fighter though, and she’ll bounce back quicker than you think.”
“Thanks for that vote of confidence. It must be obvious if you recognized the signs in me before I even said a word about it.”
“I may have seen the same expression on others’ faces a time or two.” She chuckles then moves to Juliana’s side, listening to her heart and her breathing without waking her. My guess is she became so accustomed to it while in the hospital, she doesn’t even feel it now. “All good. Let her sleep as long as she wants. It’s good for her.”
Madeleine moves back to her seat, leaving Daisy and me without a buffer. Where to start?
“Thank you for letting me come with you. I wouldn’t have stopped my sister from coming with Isa if you didn’t want me here. But I know it was your kind heart that wouldn’t allow that to happen. I promise… I’ll try my best not to make you mad in any way.”
She smiles. “You couldn’t quite promise not to do it at all, could you?”
I can’t help but laugh. “No, because I don’t want to lie. There’s no use in denying it either. I have a knack for saying or doing the wrong thing at the worst possible time. It’s a gift, really.”
“You should regift it, and I don’t usually encourage that behavior.” Her laugh at my expense is music to my ears. “There’s no way any of us would leave you behind like that, especially at this time of year. Thank you for trying to behave, but don’t change on my account. That never works. Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.”
“I’m not sure who I am anymore, to be honest with you. With everything that’s happened, it’s hard to tell right-side up from inside out.” That’s a brutally honest confession, coming from me.
“You realize those two aren’t opposites, right? I mean, you can be both at the same time.” She tilts her head to the side and lifts her eyebrows.
“See? This is where I’m at in life. That sums it up fairly well, I think.” My self-deprecating chuckle doesn’t fool her.
“You’re doing the best you can with what you have to work with. None of this is easy for anyone, that’s for sure. But you have to stop being so hard on yourself, Rod. Besides, that’s my job.” She has the cutest smirk.
