Tracy and Kevin both raise their eyebrows in surprise, but I refuse to make eye contact with them. This situation is awkward enough without their silent questions. Juliana tries to hide her smile behind her glass, but she’s more pleased than shocked. Then I realize no one else has even batted an eye toward us. My family must assume we’re a couple already since he’s here for the holidays.
Mom walks over and gives me a glass of her homemade hibiscus plum tea. “Here, sweetie, it’s your favorite tea. Once Marlee gets here, there won’t be any left.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Her eyes flash to Rod’s face, then back to mine. The smile she gives me before walking back to the grill takes me back to my teen years, reminding me of all the times I tried to fool her and failed. Am I really that transparent? If so, there’s no way I’ll be able to hide this little surprise for very long.
“Do you feel okay?” Rod whispers in my ear.
I nod. “Fine. Why do you ask?”
“There’s a pitcher full of your favorite fruity concoction over there, but you’re drinking tea. You didn’t have a drink with me earlier, either. I thought maybe you weren’t feeling well.”
“That’s sweet of you to be concerned, but I’m fine. I drank more on vacation than I normally do the rest of the year combined.” I did not lie. Maybe I omitted pertinent information, but I didn’t outright lie.
“Now that I’m here, I feel bad for not bringing gifts for your parents. They opened their home to my little family and have been the best hosts anyone could ask for, and I didn’t even think to get them a gift to thank them. Any suggestions?”
“You don’t have to get them anything, Rod, so don’t feel guilty about it. The adults don’t exchange gifts because we all buy what we want or need throughout the year. Only the kids get presents on Christmas morning from everyone. As far as having you as a guest, trying to repay them would only insult them. They love having a house full of people. The more you eat, drink, and laugh, the happier they are. Don’t stress over it.”
“But I didn’t get you anything, either.” He genuinely sounds concerned, as if I’d be disappointed not to find a gift under the tree.
“Then we’re even. Seriously, it’s okay. Exchanging gifts never even crossed my mind.”
“You’ll have to be a little patient with me. I’m learning what it means to be in a relationship. The only lasting relationship I’ve had is being an older brother. That’s a complete one-eighty from what I want with you.”
“What exactly do you want for us, Rod?”
I’m fully aware this isn’t the time or place to have this conversation. My family is all around us, eating, drinking, talking, and laughing. But while they’re distracted with each other, I want to know where he sees this going. I need to know before I make the mistake of letting my guard down and allowing him near my heart again. If I’m honest, I haven’t fully recovered after the last time I made that mistake.
My intent to remain distant is failing miserably.
“What do you mean, Mahoe?”
“I mean, where do you see this going between us? Are we a casual fling? Will I be an occasional booty call when we return home? Do you already have an elaborate wedding planned in your head, complete with a fourteen-day honeymoon package to Bora Bora? What do you want from this relationship?”
“I want it all, Daisy—and you’re the only one who has ever made me feel this way. You make me want a life I’ve never dared to dream of having before now. I want to spend every day exploring the world with you, and the nights making love to every inch of your body. We’ll be best friends, lovers, and confidantes. We’ll share our most intimate secrets, our deepest desires, and our worst fears—so neither of us will have to face anything alone again. I’m not spouting empty words to trick you or feed you a line to get you back in my bed. If I can’t have this life with you, I won’t have it with anyone. You’re all I need.”
What kills me about this situation is I believe he means every word of his elaborate promises… at the time he makes them. The other problem lies solely with me. I want to take him at face value, believe exactly what he says, and simply enjoy the rest of my life by his side. I’ve daydreamed about the two of us in a home, complete with a white picket fence and several kids surrounding us. I’ve pictured our lives together, easy and simple, despite the vast wealth he’s accumulated. While I can see our life together all so clearly for a moment, the scene evaporates before my eyes when reality slaps me in the face and reminds me of our jaded past encounters.
If I allow myself to bask in the warmth of his words, I’ll never leave his arms.
Only the love of my life stops me from giving in. While Rod’s words are enticing and inviting, nothing he said included Landen in his grand scheme for our life together. He made no mention of how my son fits into his plans, or about having more children together to complete our family.
“Hey, Landen. Come sit with your mom and me for a little while.”
When Rod motions for him to join us, Landen’s eyes light up and the biggest smile I’ve ever seen covers his face. He darts toward us, skidding to a stop beside our lounge chair while trying to decide where he’ll fit.
“You want me to sit with you?” Landen doesn’t even look at me. His attention
