My hand is splayed across my stomach, protectively shielding the baby inside without realizing I’m doing it.
“I’m scared, Tracy. Rod and I barely know each other. Women have pursued him because of his money. Will he think I’m one of them, like I did this on purpose? The time we’ve spent together hasn’t been exactly normal. Between leaving paradise and coming here for the holidays, we’ve barely spoken. Yet he claims he wants us to build a life together.”
“You don’t believe him? He’s thirty-five. It’s not as though he hasn’t been around the block a couple hundred times and doesn’t know what attracts him. He’s liked you from the moment you met. Besides, Kevin and I knew you two would be perfect for each other. That’s why we arranged the meeting for you two in the first place.
“Trust me in this, Daisy. I know you’re head over heels for him, the same as he is for you. The problem is, you’re both too scared to let go of your tight grip on the reins and simply allow this to happen. For once in your life, do what scares the hell out of you.”
She’s right, of course. She has wanted to say those words to me for years now, but she chose to support my decision to hide my heart from the world instead. At that time of my life, surviving took all the strength I could muster. She understood and supported me through every step of my horrendous ordeal. Though I’m stronger, wiser, and haven’t repeated the same stupid mistakes, I’ve made all new stupid mistakes I can’t escape from now.
“All right. So, let’s say I give this relationship with Rod a real chance. Fine. What if he tucks his tail and runs when I tell him I’m pregnant, Tracy? What should I do then?” My anxiety is at an all-time high and I can’t take a timeout to do any self-calming exercises.
“Don’t assume he’ll run. He raised his sister. He helped her raise his niece when she came along. He signed the papers accepting power of attorney over Isa, and soon he’ll sign the custody papers, essentially making him a single father. The pregnancy news will be quite a shock to his system, no doubt. Just give him a chance to process everything. You’re not handling the news all that well yourself.”
“You’re right, I’m not taking any of this very well. I’m all over the place, changing my mind about being with Rod and keeping the baby every other breath.” I drop my head in my hand and take a deep breath. “I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“That’s amoré.” She sings her retort to me, as if that’ll help.
Okay, so it does. Her unexpected and out of place serenade makes me laugh and gets me out of my own head.
“Daisy, you’re still reeling from the news yourself. You don’t have to decide if you’ll keep it or not right this minute. Wait a couple of weeks, see how things are going and how you feel. You need to put some distance between you and the test result to have any real perspective on the situation. Until then, relax, have fun with Rod, and enjoy your new relationship status.” Tracy pulls me into her arms and gives me the long, friendly hug I need to help pull myself back together.
“Okay, I’m calm now. Come to think of it, I don’t even know how far along I am yet. Blood tests can detect it a lot earlier than a store bought one, so I could be just two or three weeks pregnant instead of two or three months.”
She grips my shoulders and pushes me backward.
“Wait … you have no idea? Not even a guess?”
“No, I don’t have a regular period with my birth control, only a little breakthrough bleeding now and then. I can’t remember when that last happened, though. So I can’t even make an educated guess about how far along I am.”
“Well, that makes this so much more fun.” Her smirk makes me laugh. No matter what, I know she always has my back.
We take the ice and side dishes out to the pool area and rejoin the rest of the group. The moment I step through the door, I feel the weight of Rod’s eyes on me. It could be my guilty conscience playing tricks on me, but I’d swear he knows I’m hiding something. As I’m arranging the food on the table, he sneaks up behind me and wraps his arms around me.
It’s amazing how a simple touch can do so much.
Being in his arms makes me feel safe and protected. His strength seeps into me, stealing my fears and boosting my self-confidence. For those brief stolen moments, I believe I can conquer the world.
“Are you avoiding me?” His voice is low and intimate, but I hear a hint of uncertainty.
“No, not at all. Why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you disappeared with Tracy for so long. My arms were getting cold and lonely without you.”
“We were just having a girl chat while replenishing the cooler. Seeing me in your arms was a bit of a shock to her, so of course she had questions. But I wasn’t trying to get away from you. You should know by now I wouldn’t give us another try if I didn’t want to. This closeness feels too good for you to stop now, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for a while.”
“I think you have that backward. You’re stuck with me. You may have agreed to a trial relationship only, but the joke’s on you. I’m never letting you go again.”
“You know, I’ve really missed your half creepy, half romantic promises. Your good twin and bad twin personalities really keep me on my toes, trying to figure out who’s coming out to play.”
