Niawen, he traveled north, Seren said. He could have passed the northern mountains. Ask Caedryn for help. Ask him to send men out.
That’s a good idea.
He might have come here. You must seek him with your light.
Yes. I will. I felt so sick. I left my friends. Kenrik went looking for me. He might be dead because of me.
We’ll find him, Seren said.
I feel weak. I need to sit down. The courtyard tilted. I slid to my knees in the snow.
Niawen! Seren breathed against my shoulder. I reached my arms up and laid my head on her snout.
It’s just the pregnancy. I don’t have the strongest constitution.
What? This is how you chose to tell me you’re pregnant?
I’m sorry, I said. I was going to tell you until you dove into Kenrik’s disappearance.
You should go inside and lie down.
I’m fine.
At least to the stable, out of the snow, where we can continue talking, she said.
All right. The stable was only half a courtyard away.
I curled against Seren once we reached her designated stable. She wanted me to rest before I opened my mind’s eye, but as I draped my head over her forearm and closed my eyes, I began my search, unfolding the plane of dots. The first light I saw was in my womb. I rubbed my flat stomach, marveling at the grace my unborn child carried.
Seren, I’m so in love with him, or her. And he hasn’t even begun growing really.
I’m happy for you. The pregnancy is very sudden.
I know, but I’m fine. I’m ready to start my family.
It’s hard work, she said. Although it’s easier for humans to carry their offspring than it is for dragons to fire their eggs.
I smiled. Seren’s first egg took eleven months to hatch. And that was with around-the-clock firing. She and Cephias took turns.
Caedryn wishes he had a dragon, I said. He misses Neifion.
I imagine.
I didn’t want to ask Seren, but the pleading in Caedryn’s voice saddened me when he talked about Neifion. Seren, would you consider laying an egg, here, for Caedryn?
Seren lifted her head. Here? Without Cephias?
I know it’s a lot of work. Do you think Cephias would come?
I wouldn’t ask him to. You have no idea what you’re asking. You have no idea what’s going on in Gorlassar. If I laid an egg in the mortal realms, the emrys high council would be in an uproar.
I stood and stroked Seren’s face as I looked her in the eye. They don’t have to know.
I’d be gone for months! And I couldn’t fire an egg on my own with no sleep. That’s why we have mates.
I’m asking you to only think about it.
Then you would ask me to abandon a dragonling, Seren said. When? After it’s a few weeks old? How could I leave my offspring here while I returned to Gorlassar?
He’d be loved. The dragonling would bond to Caedryn.
For what? To live a life without other dragons? Caedryn doesn’t need a dragon.
How can you say that? I asked. How can you after knowing how our bond feels?
He wants a dragon to start his own army!
He wants to protect his people should Empress Rhianu ever rise up against him.
This is unreasonable. I’m not considering it.
Please, Seren. I beg of you.
No! Smoke puffed out of Seren’s nostrils. Caedryn put you up to this. You’d never ask such a thing of me. This request goes against your oath as a dragon guardian.
I’m trying to make a life. I want my husband to be happy. He asked out of desperation. Out of fear. I had to ask for him.
And where is he? Is he too cowardly to show his face?
He’s not a coward, I said.
You shouldn’t have bonded with him, Seren said. It’s too soon. He asks too much of you. He played games with you until he convinced you that you needed him.
I do need him.
You have never needed anyone.
Do you not understand anything I’ve gone through? I asked. It was never in me to be at peace, was it? Caedryn was like me, with a darkness inside. He understands.
Seren rose and turned me out of her embrace as she backed from the stable. I’m not laying an egg. I’m returning to Gorlassar. I’ll search as I work my way back to Kelyn and tell him you’re looking. That’s it. If you spot Kenrik’s light, tell me.
Seren, please. Don’t go.
I have to look for him. You stay with Caedryn. You’re in too fragile a state.
I’m not fragile! I yelled.
Seren stretched. Goodbye, Niawen. Find Kenrik. You’re his only hope.
She paused and flexed her wings. Ask yourself why Kenrik would leave. Ask yourself what Caedryn would do if he knew Kenrik came for you, that he wanted to bring you back. What would Caedryn do?
What are you saying?
Ask Caedryn if he knows where Kenrik is. Who lured you here so he could have you for himself? Who’s desperate enough to conceal his true nature? Who calls himself master of deception? Who’s the double agent?
Seren jumped into the sky.
That was in the past! I wailed.
Seren disappeared beyond the citadel’s wall.
“This is madness, Seren! How can you say this?” I screamed into the open air. Her accusations. Her insinuations. How dare she?
Niawen. Just ask. If you want me to fly you away—
NO! I ripped my dragon stone off and tossed it into the snow, cutting off Seren’s thoughts. I instantly felt cold, as if I was going into shock, as if I had cut my heart out.
She broke my heart. We were one. She was the friend who knew me inside and out. We breathed as one. We thought as one.
But I
