My dragon sister.
Without Seren I wasn’t even a dragon guardian. I had no ties to my home. No duty left. No honor.
“What have I done?” I crawled through the snow and pawed around until I found the stone. I slid it over my head. Seren?
No Answer.
“Seren!”
SIXTY-ONE
I paced in the infirmary. I couldn’t see Kenrik. I discerned for roughly an hour, scanning the countryside. Miles of Rolant. Miles of Talfryn. I found Kelyn easily, near the base of the mountains in his country. I even saw Sieffre and Sorfrona in the palace on the hill. Tiwlip sat beside Brenin’s light. I imagined her rubbing his back while he cried in his bed, clutching the cow I knew Kenrik had carved for him. Why did these lights spring readily into my mind and Kenrik’s didn’t?
No light.
It meant death.
He was dead.
No no no. If Kenrik were dead, I’d know it. As sure as I knew the sun would rise tomorrow and blood still flowed in my veins and heart.
Kenrik! I gripped the desk, searching. My chest was exploding as my heart slammed against my ribs.
Niawen. The word was a groan. His groan. Niawen. Faint.
I almost expected him to be lying on a bed.
He was not, of course.
Kenrik! A dizziness attacked me. A sucking feeling turned my sight inside out. I should have been able to discern his light. I was clouded—hazy, in a dream. An uncertain gulf. Did I imagine his voice? Kenrik?
This was impossible.
Unless he was calling out in anguish. Could that work? If Kenrik was in danger, in a situation where he needed help, and he cried out, would our friendship be enough for me to hear him? Did we bond in some way for me to hear his thoughts—his harrowing cries?
Was Deian guiding me? Helping me? Lending me his grace to do the impossible?
I still couldn’t see Kenrik!
Panic made me tremble. I shook so forcibly that my physical eyes were blinded. My mind’s sight was black with worry.
Seren’s words cut me as I recalled them. Ask Caedryn. Ask him if he knows where Kenrik is.
Caedryn. Where had he gone? His yellowish-green light was missing.
I felt so alone. I need you. I need you. Please help me. I’m scared. Where are you when I need you?
He’d been gone all morning, and until this moment, I didn’t realize I couldn’t discern his light either.
Ask yourself what Caedryn would do if he knew Kenrik came for you, that he wanted to bring you back. What would Caedryn do?
Ask Caedryn if he knows where Kenrik is. Who lured you here so he could have you to himself? Who’s desperate enough to conceal his true nature? Who calls himself master of deception? Who’s the double agent?
Caedryn hid his nightmares. One of my gifts is deception. I hide who I am.
No, I won’t think of him this way! He shares everything with me. Over the past few days he’s held nothing back, and I, nothing from him.
But he did hide his light. He chose when I saw it. He was in Rolant all along, blinking into existence only after he took down his concealment.
He’s not hiding anything from me.
He’s not.
He couldn’t.
Ask him.
SIXTY-TWO
Caedryn shut the door to the infirmary. He leaned his back against the door, and his head fell against it. His face was drawn.
“Caedryn, what’s the matter?” Relief flooded me. He was here. I was about to yell at him for being untraceable when I noticed his right hand. “You’re bleeding!” I rushed over to him and pulled him into my arms. “What happened? You were missing for hours. Something’s happened. I needed you.”
His face changed. Alarm swarmed his features. He touched my face and studied it. “Are you sick? Is the babe well?”
“No. Yes. We’re both well.” I pulled his injured hand into mine. His knuckles were broken open. “Tell me what you did.”
He looked sheepish. “Would you believe I had another episode?”
“Is that why I couldn’t see you? You were hiding from me?”
“Yes.”
“I was scared,” I said. “I need to talk to you. I need your help.”
“Oh, my love, I feel terrible. I’m here now. I just didn’t want you to know. We caught a spy. That’s why I was summoned a few weeks back. Rapion. I knew him. I’ve been questioning him. He finally told me Empress Rhianu has plans, that she’s coming for me. I lost it.”
“You’ve been hiding this from me?”
“You didn’t need to deal with him.” Caedryn’s gray tunic opened to show his linen shirt underneath. Blood speckled it.
I pulled the opening farther and touched a drop. “Is all of this your blood?”
I scrutinized his face. Oh. I saw where he wiped it but had done a poor job. His hairline held traces of blood. “You hit him.”
“No, I didn’t. But I broke a few chairs. This”—he indicated his knuckles—“happened when I punched the wall.”
Caedryn slipped his hands into my hair and leaned his forehead to mine. “Niawen.” His voice carried so much pain. So much fear.
“You tortured him, didn’t you? I know you’re lying.”
“I love that you can see the truth in me. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to protect you.” He kissed my cheek, near my mouth.
“Don’t lie.” My hands threaded through his hair, and I pulled his head back as Caedryn tried to kiss me again.
“All right.” Desperation slipped into his voice. He wanted to distract himself from the worry. From the fear. He wanted to hide in his violent passion. As he pushed his hips against mine, I felt his ache. He inched
