Oh. Curse the way emrys bonded. Curse all of them!
I had no idea bonds could form without consent, without awareness. None.
Master of Light. By the stars in the heavens. This can’t be.
Niawen!
I’m coming, Kenrik. I’m coming. I tried not to sob, but his emotions were crushing. He was overwhelming my senses. Something was terribly wrong with him.
I slid from under Caedryn’s arm. I tiptoed to the door. With one glance back to make sure Caedryn was sound asleep, I left the room.
I can’t see you. Where are you? Your light is veiled. I felt panicked. Kenrik was hidden from me, and he needed me. He was in pain—as if he were dying.
I could hear his voice calling only my name. He didn’t answer my pleas more specifically.
Think. Think. I proceeded to the first floor, outside the main hall. He’s invisible, as if he’s cloaked. Oh. I stumbled against the wall, using it for support as my legs gave out.
He’s cloaked. He’s cloaked.
I use my darkness.
I shook my head. I grabbed a tapestry and pulled myself back to my feet.
He’s CLOAKED.
No.
My heart shattered into a million pieces.
Ask Caedryn.
What would he do if someone tried to take me away?
Whose blood was really on his shirt? Not Rapion’s. Not Rapion’s.
Oh, no no no.
I groped my way down the hall, searching for the citadel’s depths. The way down. Stairs. Stairs that would take me to a dungeon. Where prisoners were kept. Where Caedryn would punish someone until he bled.
Kenrik’s cloaked. Cloaked. Cloaked.
Light was spiritual. Kenrik’s light was cloaked. I couldn’t discern it. He wasn’t dead. He was unseen.
More than enough blood. Too much blood on Caedryn’s hands.
Caedryn came to claim me.
Should I be jealous? he had asked.
He’d felt threatened.
I know King Sieffre has two sons who’ve been very attentive to you.
After Caedryn beat up the prisoner, he came for me. To assure himself that I was his. To set aside his misgivings, his fears that I might have a wandering heart. He was a fool. A stupid fool.
I descended a set of stairs. Cold swept up my bare legs and brushed my spine.
Cloaked.
I’ll find you.
Don’t be Kenrik. Please. The truth will destroy me. Please don’t be Kenrik.
I could lie to myself all I wanted. I could beg.
My heart knew what I’d discover.
Kenrik, I’m coming.
SIXTY-FIVE
“Kenrik!” I ran into the cell, appalled by the stench, but mostly crushed by the wretched anguish pouring off my dear friend.
He groaned. His head lolled side to side. As I fell to my knees beside him, my stomach lurched. I knew right away his legs were crushed. His face was busted and swollen. His lip was crusted with blood. He wouldn’t be walking out of his cell anytime soon. Healing him would take weeks.
I’d never be able to do that with Caedryn looking over my shoulder.
I still felt sick.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
He’s my husband!
What he had done—disfiguring my friend, punching him, breaking him—was as good as drawing a knife across my throat. I was bleeding on the filthy floor, unable to breathe. And the blood would never clot. I would bleed and bleed and bleed.
“Kenrik.” I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Tears for his pain, for my pain, for the hopelessness of the situation. I was stabbed a thousand times over as I bowed over Kenrik with my tears covering his face.
“Niawen, is that you?” A puffy eye cracked open. “I can’t feel anything below my waist.” He laughed. “Never thought that would be good.”
My chest shook as I tried to laugh, but my grief only multiplied. “I’ll fix you.” I pawed his chest. “You’ll be as good as new.”
Kenrik grabbed my hand. “We both know I have no time. You haven’t the time. You must flee. Go far away from Caedryn.”
“He’s not like this. Not always. He cracked. Oh, I’m so sorry.” I reached into Kenrik’s hair and stroked his head, enjoying the way my fingers combed through the strands and praying my touch gave Kenrik relief.
He coughed, and his legs twitched.
Deian, don’t let him die. I can fix him. “Why are you here? Why’d Caedryn do this to you?”
“I followed you. It was rash, but I did it anyway. You left. You left Kelyn and Brenin. You shouldn’t have gone.”
Though I smiled, my brows pinched together. “Your being here has nothing to do with Kelyn and Brenin.”
Kenrik grinned, but behind it, his sorrow remained. “I loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you—when you turned to me, at the festival, all covered in blood. I was unable to stop myself. I had you to myself for less than a day before you passed out, before Kelyn showed up and drew your attentions. I knew he’d steal you. He stole everything I ever had—ever wanted. I saw you for how special you are. Kelyn saw you as a trophy.”
“Kelyn never stole me. No one could ever steal me. I’d have to give myself to him.”
My throat constricted. I gave myself to Caedryn. I never thought in a million years he’d hurt someone I cared about.
I never really knew him. How could I when he spent all those years working as a double agent? He probably interrogated people in gruesome ways. He might have done all sorts of abominable things I never knew.
There was no such thing as a clean slate. No such thing.
He’s sick. He couldn’t help himself.
“I tried to walk away,” Kenrik said. “I had my dreams, and you were restless and broken. But
