I jumped to my feet and whirled around. My body was shaking. Every person I knew carried light. Light was my immortality. Light snuffed out with death. If I took my light out, would I eventually die like a mortal?
A senseless thought passed through my head. Could I live with Kenrik if I did this? Would I be willing to give up my immortality and grow old? Could I subject myself to sickness? Run the risk of developing a disease as Sorfrona had?
Caedryn grabbed my arm, pulled me to himself, and pushed back my hair, forcing me to look at him. “You aren’t thinking clearly, my darling. I know you want to help your friend, but your state is too delicate to heal him, his injuries, too extensive. You’ll harm our child.”
I wanted to cry. I wanted to shove him in the chest. Anguish filled me. Anguish because of his deeds. Anguish because of his love for me. He still loved me. Caedryn had hurt Kenrik because he loved me. In his mind, his love was distorted, confused.
I shook him off. “You told me he was Rapion. I could have begun his healing this afternoon. Let me heal his legs at least. The breaks will kill him in a few hours. I’ll proceed slowly. If you want to earn my trust back, let me do this.”
“I’ve broken your trust in me?” Caedryn asked.
“Yes.”
“You despise me. I’m no fool, Niawen. Disgust is in your eyes. I’m an abhorrent monstrosity. Nothing but a vile, malformed shell to you.”
“Caedryn, I gave you my heart,” I said. “We can fix our relationship. Our love is damaged, but it can be repaired.”
“You’ll never stop looking at me as if I’ve broken your heart!”
“You have!”
“No. No,” Caedryn said. “You will forget what I’ve done. I’ll make this as though it never happened. Heal him. Take him away, and I will make you forget.”
“You can’t make me forget. You can’t erase what you did.”
“What I did? You drove me to my actions. Your heart was all over the place. You carry feelings for several mortals. You ran from them because you couldn’t pick just one of them. I lived with this confusion in your head, slipping into my thoughts! How do you think that felt? I was looking at only you. I was loving only you!”
“While living with the memories of the empress!” I shrieked.
“Going back to her was an impossibility! They were nightmares!”
“My feelings for them are an example of how people love. I’m not in love with them. I care about them the same as I care about family.”
“You kissed Kelyn. You wanted him.” Caedryn sneered. “You wanted him to feel your light and wanted him to want your light.”
“You saw that?”
“I see everything. Why not take them all, Niawen? Keep me for your immortal soul mate while satisfying your lust for them with them. As they die off, you could take a new plaything. A new generation to fawn over your godlike body.”
“You’re foul! Why would you say such things? After all we’ve shared, how can you be so cruel?” I pushed Caedryn—my light flared out and slammed into his chest.
Caedryn stumbled backward but kept his footing. “You want to play games with me?”
A throbbing began under his skin. Immense pressure. A storm rose inside him. His eyes dimmed. Not used to his dark power, I huffed while my body cramped.
His arm lifted, and my throat constricted as Caedryn turned his power on me. I fell to my knees, nearly overcome by the darkness that crept around my vision.
No! You’ll not harm me! I threw my light into my extremities and launched to my feet. A starburst of energy lashed Caedryn and broke his hold on my neck. I buckled over, gasping. Caedryn had fallen against the far wall.
With only a moment to spare and in my desperation, I reacted. I didn’t know if what Kenrik suggested would work. I couldn’t believe he even suggested living without my light. What would happen? Severing the bond with Caedryn would take all my light. How might that feel to a Daughter of Light?
But I could heal Kenrik and free myself with one move. I whipped back to him and tumbled to the stone floor beside him. Deian, forgive me. I pulled the orb from my chest, as simple as reaching for an item on a high shelf. After one final tug, my fingers slipped around the ball and pulled it into my hands.
My chest was barren.
I smashed the light into Kenrik. His body tensed, and he screamed.
I failed to think about the repercussions for Kenrik.
“What did you do, Niawen?” Caedryn clawed forward, seized my shirt, and thrust me onto the floor. “How could you give him your light?”
Kenrik’s wails ripped my soul open.
I’ve killed him!
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Caedryn hissed, “but you leave me no choice.” He climbed onto me and straddled my midsection.
“Get off me!” I thrashed beneath him, powerless without my light. Soon a crushing pressure pinned me. His cold hands clamped over my wrists.
I couldn’t fight. I had no fight left. I gave it away with my light. Master of Light, please save Kenrik.
I couldn’t sense him. His feelings were unreadable as his cries filled the chamber, but I didn’t have to read them. Kenrik was suffering. The whole of my light inside a mortal—I could only imagine his burning.
“Niawen!” Kenrik rasped.
No, no, no. I squeezed my eyes shut.
A glow filled the room. I couldn’t open my eyes if I wanted to. A sensation of pressure intensified all over my body. I had the sickening sense Caedryn was forcing his darkness inside me. I was void of my light, so what did it matter? I slackened, sinking back, and embraced the
