Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement 41 Ask for his help with something 34 Tap something to get his attention 8 Pat his buttocks (My note: not advised!) 8
Sisters, do not be hesitant about making the first move. If you need more courage, think of it this way.
Female choice is an evolutionary mandate given to a woman so she may select the best mate and thus assure the survival of the species. You Page 51
are merely fulfilling your instinctive destiny when you overtly lure Mr. Handsome Stranger. Mother Nature would approve.
Still shy? Do you feel he'll think you are too forward if you smile broadly at him in the crowd or
"accidentally" brush up against him? He won't, because, happily, the male ego takes over . . .
retroactively. Ten minutes later, he won't even realize that he was not the one who made the initial overture.
Researcher Moore said that men think they are making the first move when they are actually responding to women's nonverbal overtures.
I decided to add my own research to Monica Moore's established findings when I was dining alone recently at one of the ubiquitous TGIF restaurants in Albany, New York. I was giving a talk the following morning to a singles' group, so as I was finishing dinner, I was running the next day's seminar program over in my mind. In my talk, I planned a segment on the "smile,"
in which I would tell women how important it is to smile at an attractive man.
I thought to myself, "Leil, you hypocrite. Tomorrow morning you'll be telling women to have the courage to smile at strangers, and you don't even have the nerve to do it yourself." While ruminating over this, I spotted a good-looking man reading while finishing his dinner a few tables from me. I thought, "OK, Leil, courage. Let's try it." So I smiled at this handsome stranger.
The poor chap looked a little stunned and dove his astonished nose back into his book. Soon after, he looked up again. I smiled again. Once more his nose disappeared in his reading material. A few minutes later, the handsome stranger got up and walked past my table to go to the men's room. As he passed, I forced myself to smile yet again. The perplexed fellow kept on walking, scratching his head.
Then things got interesting. On the way back from the men's room, he walked very slowly by my table.
Once more I looked up at him and—you guessed it—
smiled. Mr. Handsome Stranger stopped walking.
After the flood of smiles I'd drowned him in, it was perfectly logical to start chatting as if we had been formally introduced. He joined me at my table for coffee.
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Well, I invited this gentleman—his name was Sam—
to attend my seminar the next morning, which he did. To illustrate the "smile" part of my seminar, I told the audience the story (without revealing Sam's identity, of course) of how my smile had engineered a meeting with the lone diner.
After the seminar, Sam said, "You know, Leil, I suppose you were talking about me in that little story you told. But," he added, looking thoroughly confused and quite sincere, "I thought it wIas who made the approach to you." Sure, Sam.
I tell you, Sisters, the male ego is a wondrous thing.
Have the courage to smile broadly, nod, point to a chair, and invite him to sit—or choose almost any of Monica Moore's maneuvers—and he will forget that he didn't make the first approach.
TECHNIQUE #8 (FOR HUNTRESSES):
MOVE FIRST
Huntresses, when you spot a possible Quarry, do not wait for his approach. Nature decrees that youmust make the first move. Use any of the proved ploys. It's as close to jabbing his buttocks with a syringe filled with
PEA as you can get.
9
Let Your Body Do the Talking
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Science documents that the early body language of both partners is crucial to whether love will develop or not. One of the most tireless researchers in the laboratory of love was Dr. Timothy Perper, who spent more than two thousand grueling hours perched on stools of singles' bars, scrutinizing men, women, and their early courting moves.
Like researchers tracking the mating habits of hamsters, Dr. Perper spotted the identical courtship pattern repeatedly in his singles' bar laboratory. Night after night, he stayed resolutely at his post, scribbling notations, devising charts, and hypothesizing formulas as men and women picked each other up.
Then, in the finest scientific tradition, he broke the body language pattern of couples getting to know each other into five very specific steps.
Dr. Perper's findings reveal that when both partners stuck to a precise sequence of moves, the couple wound up leaving together or making a date.
However, if either partner broke the sequence—even accidentally—the couple drifted apart.
Many people looking for love take lessons in social dancing hoping to meet a Potential Love Partner.
They painstak-
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ingly learn the steps to the fox trot, the waltz, the cha-cha, and the rhumba. But they fall flat on their faces in the most important dance of all, the one the good doctor dubbedthe Dance of Intimacy .
What are the steps to the Dance of Intimacy? They are as clear and as carefully choreographed as those of the Tennessee Waltz. They are the sequential movements youmust make if intimacy is to develop with your . Pay attention to each of the following five subconscious body language steps PLP
because, if you slip on any of them, your Quarry will lose interest and wander back into the singles' jungle.
The Dance of Intimacy
Step One: Nonverbal Signal After the two partners are within speaking range, one or the other makes his or her presence known (as described in the previous chapter) by a smile, a nod, or
