“Cool,” she said. “Well, come in! D’ya eat yet?”
“I’m good for now, thanks, Sis,” I said. “Just wanted to say hello and check in.”
“Need a place to stay? Your old room is Snake’s now, but you can have the guest room.”
“No, I got a room,” I said.
“Why’d you do that? You could have stayed in this palace,” she laughed, gesturing to our parent’s house. She’d moved in right before they died to take care of them and just ended up staying once she got pregnant.
“Just more comfortable that way,” I said. “Besides, this place is filled with so many ghosts I’d never be able to sleep.”
“Hell yeah, it is,” she agreed, with a smile. “So, where are you staying?”
“At the Inn,” I shrugged.
She whistled, then looked out the window, eyeing the rental car Riot had given me.
“The 17hundred90 Inn? And you’re driving a Mercedes? Oregon must be treating you well.”
“It is,” I shrugged it off. “Work.”
“Hmm, can’t wait to hear all about it,” she said, with a twinge of suspicion in her eyes. Sera could always see right through me, so I knew there was no use in trying to keep secrets from her, but this wasn’t the right time to fill her in on the true reason I was in Savannah.
“Hey, will you take me to the park, Uncle Blade?” Snake asked.
“Sure, if it’s okay with your Mom,” I replied.
“Fine with me,” she said. “Be back by dinner.”
“Yay!” He jumped up, pulling on my hand and leading me to the door.
“Okay, okay, buddy,” I said, laughing at his enthusiasm. “Did we ever get this excited about going to the park when we were kids?” I asked Sera.
“I did, and maybe you did for a hot minute, but the only things you ever really got excited about were your stupid bikes, weed and Rose Finley.”
I laughed her comment off, even though her mentioning Rose stung more than I wanted to let on.
“See you in an hour, little sister.” I kissed her on the cheek and Snake and I jumped in my car and headed to town.
Chapter 10
ROSE
Soon, I reminded myself, as I made my way to an empty bench near the playground. Every day, I tried hard to concentrate on the future, but until the divorce was final, I knew I’d never be able to truly do that. So, guilt-free, I let myself swim in memories of my youth.
The fact that I was at this park just spurred those memories on. Growing up in Savannah was a blessing and a curse, all at once. Being raised surrounded by the beauty of the live oaks and the weeping willows had left a love for nature in my soul that would never die. But the anonymity that was stolen from you by living in a small community left a mark, too. Every move you made seemed to be amplified and scrutinized, and I felt those bruises still, now that the entire world seemed to know that I asked Derek for a divorce.
And that he was being hesitant about signing the papers.
Of course, the rumor mill was churning, and so far I’d heard a number of outrageous claims, including that I’d taken a lover, that I’d been a secret lesbian all along, that I was only divorcing Derek to get half of his money after his big promotion to Chief of Staff at the hospital, and that I was planning on taking that money and running away to Mexico to live with my lesbian lover at a nudist colony.
None of which were true, obviously. Only the nudist colony did sound a little adventurous.
The truth of the matter was that I’d simply had enough of Derek.
I’d spent the last few decades experiencing so much ‘Derek’ that I was up to my eyeballs with his overbearing, high-maintenance, selfish bullshit.
As I trailed my eyes around the park, I stopped short when I saw Clem playing with a young boy. A smile stretched across my face as I watched them. I was struck by the boy’s looks. He reminded me of another boy, one I’d known a long time ago, who I’d played with at this very park when I was a young girl myself. Sometimes, it seemed like yesterday that I was as young as Clem, or even Maggie. But it wasn’t yesterday, and those times — with that particular boy — were a dreamy lifetime ago.
I wondered where that boy was now, what he was doing, what he was like, if he was happy. It had been so long, I wasn’t even sure I’d recognize him now if he walked right up to me.
Maybe someday, once things settled down, I could try to find him and reach out, just to satisfy my curiosity. Just to say hello. He was probably married now himself, with his own family, his own big life.
Still, I couldn’t help but wonder if he thought about me, too, sometimes. I hoped he hadn’t forgotten about me.
I sighed, shivering against the breeze, despite the sunshine. Thoughts of him always left me feeling lonely, despite the fact that I was rarely alone since having kids. Still, I couldn’t take my eyes off the boy Clem was playing with, letting those childhood memories sit squarely on my chest.
It was like I could handle the pain of remembering, as long as my brain allowed me to never forget him.
I wondered what my life would have been like if he’d never left. If I’d never married Derek. But I would never have had Clem or Maggie, and I have to remember to never think like that. But it would have been nice to have Clem and Maggie and him, instead of Derek.
Shaking my head, I knew I was clouding my emotions, letting the past have its way with me, all over again. I needed to stop this if I was going to have any future at all, otherwise, I’d likely end up some crazy woman muttering to herself, roaming the streets of downtown
