And that’s what that was, a fantasy. I clearly understood what I was doing.
Sometimes, though, I needed to remember. Remember the woman I once was. Remember that I was once loved so thoroughly and deeply, and remember what that felt like. Remember that I was once worthy of that kind of love.
Tears stung my eyes, and since I didn’t want Clem to see me turn into a blithering mess — I reserved those moments for my late-night wine drinking sessions on the porch — I rose to my feet to let Clem know it was time to go home for dinner.
She was still playing with the boy — sitting on a log and talking, their eyes animated and alive.
“Hey, Clem, it’s time we —.”
“Snake, we should —.”
I stopped short, my head snapping up, my eyes crashing into a familiar set of baby blue eyes. I blinked hard, goosebumps rattling my skin, as if I’d conjured up a ghost with my stroll down memory lane.
“Hello, Rose,” he said, nodding formally. “I wondered if I would run into you.”
“Blade!” My mouth dropped and I froze, as my past came crashing back to life right before my very eyes.
Chapter 11
DEREK
“Fucking bitch,” I muttered under my breath, as I listened to the latest voicemail from Rose. She left one every day, knowing what time I had my daily meeting with the heads of the hospital. She called then because she knew I wasn’t able to answer, and then, if I called back, she wouldn’t answer her phone. It was a fucking stupid game that I was tired of playing.
She was avoiding me, and somehow still finding ways to nag the shit out of me, at the same time.
Sure, I could sign the fucking papers and give her what she wants, but I have no interest in seeing her gleeful smile as she struts around town like she’s on a fucking cloud for having left me. She’s humiliated me, and if it wasn’t for the prestige and power my job affords me, I’d have been laughed out of town.
Women in Savannah don’t just ‘ask’ for a divorce. It doesn’t work that way, I don’t care what fucking year it is. Especially in my family. We have appearances and reputations to uphold.
So fucking what if she’s unhappy? It’s her misguided belief that marriages are supposed to be happy that fucked everything up in the first place. She wanted fancy dinners and flowers and diamonds and long nights spent making love and that shit just is not realistic, not in any long term way, at least. That’s for courting.
And I gave her all of that, don’t get me wrong.
I played my fucking part to a T.
She’s the one that is trying to buck traditions and insisting ‘life is short’ and talking about how ‘unfulfilled’ she is, like she’s not just a fucking housewife in Savannah. Most women just take up yoga or some shit, but she wants an entire lifestyle change, down to the husband that’s paying the fucking bills.
Fuck her.
I threw my phone down on my desk before finishing the message, unable to listen any longer.
There’s a lot of shit I have to deal with right now and the last thing I need is her going on and on about the fucking papers. She has no idea the kind of pressure I’m under. She has no idea what I go through every goddamned day to keep her, and our girls, safe and sound.
No fucking idea at all.
And, if things go the way I’m hoping, she won’t ever know the truth of it all. It would kill her if she truly knew what danger is lurking just outside of her door.
If she did, she wouldn’t have sent me packing, that’s for sure.
She’d be damn happy to have me around for protection.
But I couldn’t let her know. It was too risky at this point.
Things would just have to stay this way for a little while longer, nagging or not. I just needed a little more time.
In the meantime, ignoring her was going to be one of my main priorities.
She’d just have to stew in her misery a little longer.
Chapter 12
BLADE
Fuck.
I knew I’d run into her. I just didn’t expect it would be right away. I didn’t have time to put my guard up, steel myself, and throw up the barbed wire that I kept at the ready to surround my heart with.
She was just there, and it was like getting struck by lightning — boom! — without any hint of an oncoming storm.
By the look on her face, I’m pretty sure she was even more surprised than me.
But damn, if it didn’t take me right back.
Everything was the same — her face, her smile, her eyes — only she’d gotten even more beautiful with age. Her eyes held a wisdom that wasn’t there when she was on the verge of adulthood. And when she flashed them at me, almost accusingly, as if I’d dared to barge into her life so unexpectedly and rudely — it took all the breath out of me.
I was grateful we were surrounded by mostly clueless kids, so nobody really noticed that time had come to a grounding halt except for the two of us.
The blur of the outside world swirled around us, and just like before — it was the best feeling in the world. Rose always had a magic about her, an uncanny ability to stop the chaos that I lived with back then and steeped each moment in stillness.
I don’t know how long we stood staring at each other — it could have been five minutes, it could have been an hour, but eventually, the polite greetings and questions formed on our tongues.
“How are you…”
“It’s been so long…”
“Why are you here?…”
The words flowed between us until we’d exchanged some small understanding and bits of knowledge, but I still couldn’t tell you who said what exactly,
