“Hello, my darling Clementine,” I whispered in her ear, before pulling back to smile into her eyes. “I missed you!”
“I missed you, too, Mommy!” I kissed her on the forehead and we climbed into the car to head home.
“Did you have a good day?” I asked. Listening to her rattle on about her school day was one of my guilty pleasures. I hung on every word, letting her stories and school yard drama take me away from my own troubles like a soap opera.
“It was good,” she said. “Mrs. Bradshaw let me be her helper today.”
“That’s nice,” I said.
“It was fun,” she replied. “And in Mr. Reynolds science class, Jeremy got in trouble again for taking the tarantula out of its terrarium again.”
“He didn’t!”
“Yep,” she laughed, “he put it on Cynthia Robert’s back and she didn’t even notice until it started crawling up her neck.”
“Oh, no!”
“She screamed so loudly, Mr. Reynold’s dropped his glass beaker full of water. He was so mad, his face turned bright red!”
We laughed together and my heart swelled. I was grateful she was the class helper, and not the class trouble-maker, but also glad she found the humor in life. She might look just like her father, but she was exactly like me, through and through.
“Hey,” I said, the urge to spoil her running through me, “do you want to get ice cream and go to the park before we go home?”
“Of course I do!” she cried, her smile growing wider.
I’d have done anything to make her happy. Like I said, happiness was few and far between these days, and I knew I was partly the cause of that. I figured doing a little extra work to turn things around wasn’t too much. Besides, a trip to the park was a simple pleasure and it would give me time to do my favorite thing these days — sit around and stare into space and think about the good ol’ days.
The future promised to be bleak, at least for a little while longer.
So, I found my happiness in the memories of my youth, and holy crap were some of them pretty amazing. I used to feel guilty about relishing in the past, but I gave that up recently — along with life as I knew it.
Guilt was useless at this point, and if I was clearing out my life to make room for new experiences, I decided that there was no room for guilt or regret.
What’s done is done.
I’m here now and that’s all that matters.
And, of course, making sure Clem chose whatever ice cream flavor that brought the most joy to her sweet little heart.
Half an hour later, we’d devoured two scoops of banana nut and chocolate-chocolate chip and she was running full speed towards the play structure at her favorite park. I lagged behind, walking slowly, breathing in the fresh air and turning my face up to the sunshine.
Now that the days were warming up, I never wanted to be inside. I couldn’t get enough of the blooming daffodils and tulips, the trees blazing with budding magnolias and cherry blossoms. The restlessness I felt just contributed to that feeling of needing to be outside. Since asking for a divorce from Derek, I couldn’t seem to sit still.
At first, I fretted over if I’d actually done the right thing. Of course, I’d thought about it months and months, if not years, before asking. But once I’d ripped off that band-aid, I knew there was no going back and suddenly I panicked.
Had I really thought everything through?
Was I prepared for the consequences? From the girls, from his family, from the whole damned town of Savannah, practically…
It took a few weeks, but once the whispers died down and the girls figured out not much was really going to change for them, my heart stopped racing in fear and I learned to breathe again.
Outside. In the sunshine. Surrounded by the vibrant shades of the evergreens and the menagerie of color that popped up endlessly, the blooms seeming to be as excited for a new life as I hoped to be soon.
First, I had to actually get through the divorce proceedings, but once that was done, then my future actually would be as bright as today’s sunlight.
I just needed to be patient.
Chapter 9
BLADE
“I changed my name to Snake!”
Frankie — or Snake, rather — was so stoked to see me that he’d not left my side since I jumped out of the car. My nephew had grown at least a foot since I’d seen him last and it was obvious he wasn’t finished growing.
Tall genes ran in my family. My dad was tall, my mom was tall, my sister, Sera, was tall, and so am I. I quickly inherited my father’s nickname, and after the sixth grade, nobody called me by my given name again. I was simply ‘Blade’, like a tall blade of grass, and that was it, whether I liked it or not. It just stuck.
“I like Snake,” I said. “Good choice.”
“Thanks,” he said. “Everyone at school calls me that now, but Mom won’t do it.”
“She’ll come around,” I said, ruffling his hair. “Where is she?”
“Inside,” he said. “She’s going to be so surprised to see you!”
“I bet,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t be unpleasantly surprised. I should have called, but I didn’t. “Let’s go surprise her!”
She opened the screen door before we could get to it, shaking her head when she saw me.
“Just like you to just show up unannounced,” she said.
“Hello, Seraphina,” I said, kissing her on the cheek. “It’s good to see you too!”
“What are you doing here?” She laughed, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me.
“Just visiting,” I said.
“Georgia is a long-ass way from Oregon to just be ‘visiting’,” she said, eyeing me. I winked at her and laughed, looking down to Snake.
“Later,” I
