The words we didn’t say spoke the loudest.
Her eyes told me everything I needed to know.
And I tried like hell to let her see my own answers.
Fuck.
I wanted to wrap her up in my arms, just like I’d always done so naturally and easily before.
But this wasn’t before, this was after, and a lifetime had passed between then and now and the rules weren’t the same.
Nothing was going to be easy.
Especially pulling Rose Davenport into my arms, even if every cell in my body cried out to feel her body next to mine.
When Snake pulled on my hand, tearing me out of the trance her eyes had trapped me into, I almost cried out in gratitude. I was drowning.
After exchanging another big dose of politeness, the urge to pull her into my arms had grown to the urge to kiss her with all the pent up passion I felt for her that I’d forced myself to bury over the years.
“It was really nice to see you…”
“Glad you’re doing well…”
“You look great, take care of yourself…”
“Say hi to your sister…”
A few more tugs from Snake, and we were walking away, and as fast as the lightning had struck, it was all over.
My heart didn’t get the message, however, because by the time we made it back to the house, it was still beating like I’d just run a marathon.
Maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d hoped.
Maybe this wasn’t going to be fucking easy at all.
Chapter 13
ROSE
I couldn’t even speak on the way home. Luckily, Clem was rattling on and didn’t notice.
Reeling from seeing Blade, my heart felt like it would burst out of my chest. Our brief conversation kept playing over in my head, but it felt like a dream.
As soon as he’d appeared in front of me, he’d disappeared.
But to think that he was actually here in town made me literally sick to my stomach. I’d been so devastated when he left, without any explanation, so long ago. But after I got over the initial shock, I was glad he was gone. I didn’t have to see him every day and be constantly reminded of being rejected.
I hadn’t thought to ask him how long he was staying.
Maybe this would be over in a day or so and I wouldn’t even have to see him again.
The thought of that brought me both joy and immense sorrow.
He looked so damned good! Better than ever. What is it about certain men who seem to get better looking with age? I might have been in a dream-like state, but that didn’t stop me from getting a really good look at every inch that I could.
He’d filled out in all the right places, his body looking even more fit at forty than it did at twenty, if that was possible. He’d grown his dark hair out, his face had a few well-placed wrinkles, and yet those bright blue eyes — they were the same, but so very very different. He’d matured over the years and it showed.
Suddenly, the thought of him leaving without me ever seeing him again was enough to make me begin the grieving process all over again. I contemplated driving over to Sera’s house to see him one more time. Maybe tonight. Maybe we could talk. Take a walk, or a drive. Maybe visit Bonaventure Cemetery, like we used to.
We used to have the best talks in that old cemetery, the long moss waving in the wind around us…
Oh, but nothing was like it used to be.
Not him. Certainly not me.
I sighed, loudly, enough for Clem to notice.
“What’s going on? You haven’t said a word since we left the park. And who was that guy?”
“What guy?”
“What guy? Are you kidding? The guy you took one look at and all the blood drained from your face like you’d just seen a ghost. That guy.”
She was sharp for a ten year-old.
“That was Blade. He’s an old friend. Someone I knew in high school,” I said, using my best nonchalant voice.
“Right,” she nodded, eyeing me suspiciously.
I turned into our driveway, eager to get into the house and lock myself in my bathroom for a few moments so I could properly freak out.
“Are you going to see him again?” Clem asked.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
“Do you want to see him again?”
“Clem, please,” I shook my head. “Enough with the questions.”
She opened the car door with a sly smile, and laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
She ran into the house, mercifully leaving me alone.
A twinge of guilt pierced my heart as I watched her run away. I shouldn’t have snapped at her. She wasn’t asking anything that I wasn’t already asking myself.
I was just afraid of the answers.
Chapter 14
BLADE
It took an hour, but after tinkering around with my old bike, it roared to life. Okay, so maybe it sputtered to life, but it was still good to go. I straddled the dusty seat, my fingers wrapping around the handlebars, and I felt transported back in time.
This was my first bike ever, bought with my own money when I was just fourteen. It was the one project my old man and I ever worked on together, and I couldn’t be happier that it actually started up.
The vibrations were nothing compared to my Harley back at the clubhouse, but it felt a lot better straddling this thing than driving around in that cage of a Mercedes.
This was a lot more comfortable.
This was me.
My old leather jacket was still in the closet, too, and while it was a little tight in the shoulders and arms, it fit well enough to wear.
I was looking forward to a long ride through the city tonight. It was time I came to terms with the ghosts of this town and if that meant exposing myself to as much of the past as possible, then so be it.
Seeing Rose had thrown me for a loop
