—Linette
This is so touching. It made me cry.
—Barbara
I’ve been a fan of your blog for quite a while. I love your honesty and find it incredibly touching that you are sharing such an intimate journey. I’m sure it has helped many many people view their journeys with Alzheimer’s and their loved ones very differently and had as incredible effect for them. Thank you so much.
—Sherri Ann
June 29, 2012
She Really Makes Me Smile
“Hi Mom, how are you?” “Lisa, is that you?” “Yes, Mom, it’s your beautiful daughter calling her favorite mom to see how you are doing.” “Lisa, when are you coming to see me?” “Mom,” I fibbed, “I’ll be coming in four weeks.” Mom replied, “That’s great because I really miss you.”
I feel a pang in my heart because I know that I will not be returning to see my mom for several months. I can get away with this white lie, because Ruthie has no recollection of what I just said, let alone when I lasted visited . Actually my mom cannot remember anything anymore. “Mom, I live too far away, and I was just at your home six weeks ago.” “I really do not remember,” she answers. “It feels like a very long time ago.”
“Well, Mom, you do have a special person coming to visit you today.” “Who?” “Your son Gil is coming to visit with his girlfriend.” Mom breaks in with, “Gil has a girlfriend?” “Yes, Mom, and we both met her when I visited six weeks ago.” “What is his girlfriend’s name?” “Her name is Rochelle, and she’s very nice.” I mention to her that they will be coming with their two dogs. “Why?” “Because the dogs want to visit you also. Please be careful that you do not step on them.” We both find this quite amusing, and start to giggle.
“Mom, would you like to come and visit me in New York?” “No, not now,” she replies, as she goes on to describe how she once lived there many years ago. She remembers looking out the window and watching as things went by. “Well, Mom, I remember you and I going to the museums, the theater, the top of the Empire State Building, and taking the buses and subways all over the city.” “Lisa, I did that? I do not remember, for it was so long ago.” “I do, Mom, and I also remember how much you enjoyed yourself.”
Unfortunately if she did any of these things today, she still would not remember. This is what Alzheimer’s has done to her. Her mind once filled with beautiful visions has now become a blank canvas. A lifetime of her memories that have all been washed away disappeared as if they never did exist.
“Mom, I love you. I’ll speak to you later.” “Okey dokey,” she says and answers with, “I love you even more.” I have just approached the Alzheimer’s Association offices in the city. I am here for a meeting to get involved with a project to help spread awareness with them, for September is Alzheimer’s Month. We want to paint the town purple and to spread our word for all to hear.
It’s strange how I hung up with my mom the very moment that I approached the entrance to their offices. As I entered, I had plastered across my face a huge smile and a heart filled with much warmth. I realized how almost every day when I speak to her, we share these silly, touching, and funny conversations. Our conversations make little sense, yet they seem to lighten our hearts and make us laugh. We share a laugh from within that leaves our hearts filled with much pleasure and joy.
My mom probably forgets immediately what we just shared, yet for me I walk away feeling enlightened and carefree. When my mom was free of this disease, these lighthearted, fun conversations did not exist. I was too busy wanting to get off the phone, and now every time that I speak to her I hang up with feelings of so much love and happiness.
As strange as it sounds, there for me is much joy in whatever time we still have together, for this special lady can really make me smile.
COMMENTS
What a wonderful tribute to your mom. God bless you.
—Lana
I loved your story about your mother and you. keep up the good work.
—Ellie
Love every single post of your blog. Keep up the good job.
—PositiveMed
July 7, 2012
My Man, I Loved Him So
Today when I spoke to my mom, I mentioned that it was my birthday in eight days. When I questioned her about what day I was born and how old I would be, Mom said that she had no recollection of any of it. I whispered to her my age, and with humor, she answered, “You’re catching up to me.” I giggled at her quick and witty response.
When I phoned, she and her caregiver Elaine had just been watching a love story on the television. Elaine was so excited to share with me what my mom had just finished saying. Mom said to her that the movie was a beautiful love story. She continued to tell her that she lost her husband a long time ago (seventeen years to be exact) and that she really missed him. The next thing she said was that she’d do anything to have him back.
What my ears had just heard sent chills up and down my spine. Out of my sometimes fear to not cause her any unnecessary pain,
