Tomorrow when I call, and every day after, I will start my calls with, “Hi Mom, it’s Lisa, your daughter,” so my mom will hopefully be sure to remember my name.
COMMENTS
Thank you so much for creating this profile. I have cried when reading some of the things you’ve posted here. My mom’s Alzheimer’s was discovered recently when it was already 18 on a scale of 30. She has been getting worse every few moments, while other moments she is just fine. My love and compassion have been growing. I still have more to bring out. It’s been so painful seeing her like this. The acceptance has recently just begun working inside me. I love her so much and always want her to know it, because yes, it’s true, she forgets that, too! I love your page because it’s just what I and many others need. Thank you!
—Stacey
Your relationship with your mom is inspirational and worthy of sharing. Thank you for doing so. You will encourage many of us who are struggling with relationships that have been affected by dementia.
—A Place for Mom
August 24, 2011
Happy Birthday, Mom
Today is August 24, 2011. It is a very special day in more ways than one. I am so excited because today my mom turns eighty-seven years young. When I shared this with Ruthie, she replied, “Eighty-seven years old. Wow, am I really that old?” “Yes, Mom.” She then replied, and I quote her, “Well, at least I don’t look my age.” And with that, we both laughed.
Fortunately she still is filled with much spunk and energy. I do think that she looks her age, yet I will certainly not say so. Why would I spoil her day? If Ruthie thinks she looks young, that’s all that matters. You see, my mom’s eyesight is failing, because she also has macular degeneration. This is something that she never mentions nor complains about.
Besides it being her birthday, there are also threats that Hurricane Irene is close to Florida’s shores. When I spoke with Mom’s caregiver Elaine, she shared with me that she was going to get a cake and come back to Mom’s at the same time that my brother would be arriving. She also reassured me that if the hurricane was going to be threatening in anyway, she would stay over at my mom’s house. Elaine so caringly did not want Mom to be all alone.
Elaine is so kind and thoughtful for offering this. She and her daughter Trudy take such wonderful care of my mom. We are very fortunate to have each of them.
Elaine put Mom back on the telephone, and I shared with her what Elaine had just told me. Mom repeated everything that I said right back to Elaine. I was amused by this, and I told her that Elaine was so nice to her because she was so sweet. We both giggled, and sure enough, she repeated what I just said, once again to Elaine.
I then heard Mom say, “Lisa, you are a doll, and I love you so much.” “Mom, you’re going to make me cry.” She answered, “Please don’t cry.” “Mom, they would be tears of joy.” After we hung up, my heart felt like it could explode with how much love I felt for her.
It’s hard to believe that before my mom got Alzheimer’s there were moments when we fought and did not get along. Sometimes, for a quick second, I did not care if we saw each other again. Today all I want to do is hold on to her, love her, and cherish every second that she still knows my name and who I am. Ruthie, my mom, now is to me one special lady.
So Mom, I dedicate to you all my love and wish that all my writings about you and our relationship are able to touch other people, just like you have touched me. I would also want to wish you a very special birthday and send you all my love, sealed with a kiss.
xoxo
Lisa
COMMENTS
Hi Lisa,
I love your blog. My mom too suffers with Alzheimer’s. I recently went to my first walk to end Alzheimer’s, and the emotions I felt were none that I would have expected. It was like a burden was lifted off of me, because for the first time I felt, “Hey, our family is not the only one going through this journey!” (Even though, of course, I knew realistically we were not.) It was just that feeling of actually physically seeing others going through the same journey. It was almost like a relief, which is a weird feeling because you do not wish this disease on anyone. But, for a lack of a better word, that is exactly how I felt. Reading your blogs has also made feel I am not alone! I am the only girl in a family with three boys, whom by the way I love dearly, but who are absolutely no help when it comes to the care of my mother. (LOL!)
My dad is my mom’s primary caregiver, and I am her secondary caregiver. I only live two hours from my parents’ home and can go there quite often to assist my dad with her care. I hate hate hate this disease, but I have fallen in love with my “other” mom. I have learned to let go of the person that was and to embrace the person that is. This disease has definitely shown me the true meaning of love. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as we go through this journey with our moms. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!
—Kassey
December 18, 2011
Feelings,
Oh So Many Feelings
“Mom, do you know your mother?” “No Lisa, I do not remember her.” “Mom, who are you to me?” My mom
