For the moment, my mom seems a little better. I can hardly express how good it feels. It gives me glimmers of hope that I know will absolutely not last. I am trying to stay optimistic and appreciate the time we still have together. I do not know how long this will last. I love my mom dearly, and she still carries with her so much strength and courage. My mom continues to inspire me each day, and for this my mom remains my hero.
COMMENTS
I enjoyed reading your post about your mom. Those confusing days are difficult to watch, and those moments of clarity are what we hang on to. I can tell you love your mom very much. Take care.
—Lillian
This brought back memories for me. I just lost my mom—August 14, 2011. She had Alzheimer’s. I had really lost her years before. Alzheimer’s is such a sad disease. My hope is that her world was safe and secure with warm memories and not a scary, lonely place for her. Spend as much time as you can with your mom, and just love her.
—Patricia
Lisa,
I am a daughter that also has a mom suffering with a dementia-related disease. I couldn’t help noticing some similarities between your mom’s condition and my mom’s. Have her doctors done any checking into dementia with Lewy bodies? I mention this because this is the latest diagnosis my mom has been given. Lewy bodies is a fairly rare condition that is very hard to diagnose. It is a condition where a certain protein collects around cells in the brain and block “neurons” from getting through. It causes a lot of hallucinations, dreams that they are actually living out, and many other things. I only mention this because it might be something that has been overlooked. This is fairly new condition and has only been known about mostly since 2008. It is named after the doctor who discovered it. If you go online and type in “Lewy bodies,” you will get a great amount of information about this. They have yet to call it a disease as the only firm diagnosis can come with an autopsy. The patient is diagnosed through a series of questions and background information given by family and staff at the facility where patients are living. By having this diagnosis for our mom, it has helped us to understand her and where she is in her mind, and why. They need a totally different way to be looked after and approached. I hope this will be of some help to you and to perhaps others who do not really understand why their parent is having multi-delusional thoughts, etc. This may not be something that your mom has, but I felt it might be something to have looked into. We only found this by having our mom seen by a geriatric psychologist. He is a wonderful and very young doctor that has just come through much studying of Lewy bodies. I will keep you, your mom, and your family in my prayers. Thanks for sharing your stories—they have helped me to not feel so alone. It’s very hard to see our moms this way. Be encouraged.
—Joyce
January 22, 2012
Is My Cup Half Empty
or Half Full?
Ihave been walking around with a heavy heart ever since my mom was hallucinating and ended up in a hospital. This was my awakening that my mom might be ready to go into a nursing home. The thought left me feeling so sad and lonely. My feelings left me filled with much fear. How could I ever do this to her? What will she say, and how will she feel? How could I even possibly think of it? Was I about to do the right thing? Was this best for my mom?
My mom has expressed many times that she wanted to stay in her home till she dies. I seem to remember that I had promised her that she could always remain in her home. Should I wait a couple of months, which only would be prolonging the inevitable? Maybe she could bounce back. Should I live in hope?
All this left me with many memories of my mom and dad and how quickly our lives go by. We sit, we plan, and we do not know if we’ll even be around to fulfill our dreams. Lately, I have been awakening most mornings to dreams that are still as vivid after I rise from my sleep. Before this episode I was enjoying my mom completely.
I guess one could say that I looked upon the situation with that my cup was half full, not half empty. Several years ago, after I learned that my mom had Alzheimer’s, I made a clear decision to cherish every second that we had left, especially since I still had the opportunity to share them with her.
Today when I called Mom, I was able to have such a fun, uplifting conversation. It lifted my spirits and left me feeling so much lighter. She told me that I had seven sisters and two brothers. The true facts are that my mom has only one daughter, which is me, and only one son. For me I was happy to play along with her, as we both giggled like teenage girls.
Mom does not remember what is true, and to me this no longer makes a difference. At this point it does not matter. I guess what I need, or so badly want, is to delight in these cute and humorous conversations whether they make sense or not.
What I have realized is that when my mom is sounding so great she might be in “la la land.” When I catch her sounding a little down, she may be somewhere in her mind, wondering what is happening to her.
I cannot change or take away Alzheimer’s from my mom,
