“I know, but I wanted to be around for the first week or so.”
“It suits you,” he says quietly. “I couldn’t take my eyes off you tonight. I haven’t seen you smile like that in a long time.”
“I thought you were too busy watching Raven to notice me,” I admit.
“I didn’t look at her once,” he says, frowning. “It’s you who I can’t take my eyes off, Anna. It’s always been you.”
“Not always,” I almost whisper. “What went wrong with us?” I ask, my tone almost desperate. He rests his hands against the bar. “I thought you’d see Willow and fall in love. That you’d forgive me for all the shit you thought I’d done. But you became so distant, and not just to me but to Willow. She didn’t deserve that.”
He nods, acknowledging that he agrees, which surprises me. Usually, he shuts me down at this point. “Too much happened and I lost my way,” he says. “You took me by surprise when you announced the pregnancy.”
“I’m your wife. I didn’t need to trap you.”
“I know,” he mutters. “I said all that stuff because . . .”
“Because what?”
He stares at me for a long while, then sighs. “Come and see the counsellor with me. Please.”
I groan. Not this again. “Why?” I ask. “You pushed me away and let me leave, but now, you want to sit in a room with me and a stranger and talk about what? All the things you think I did wrong? You think I’ll confess to trapping you? Because I didn’t. Willow was an accident, and a good one at that.”
“Not about any of that,” he snaps. “I wanna work on us. I can’t talk to you,” he complains.
“I never stopped listening,” I snap. “You stopped talking to me and I tried to get you to open up. You went from loving me so fiercely to ignoring me.”
“I had shit to deal with,” he says bitterly.
“It’s all you ever say. You had shit going on, so it meant I had to accept being treated like crap. Well, I've been there before and I refuse to do it again.”
He pushes his face in mine. “I am nothing like Reggie. Don’t fucking compare me to him. I loved you, but I couldn’t tell you everything.”
“Loved,” I repeat, sucking in a breath, and he steps back. “You said loved, not love.” We stare at each other. I place my hand over my throbbing cheek, the pain reminding me of days I spent with Reggie and his violent temper. “We don’t need to go to counselling. You’ve made yourself clear.”
RIGGS
I storm out of the bar, punching the wall and then growling in pain. Shit! I need to get a grip. I ain’t punched walls since I was a teenager. I shake my hand out and pace.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Anna all evening. Seeing her so animated and alive was a beautiful sight. It reminded me of the very first time I saw her, when she marched into my bar demanding I keep my son away from her daughter.
I have two more sessions left at the hospital, two more sessions and my nightmare might be over.
When Anna steps out and locks up, I convince her to get on my bike. It’s been so long since she’s wrapped her arms around me and held on tight, that I drive the long way to the club, ignoring her when she demands to know why we’re going there and not her house. As soon as I park up the bike, she jumps off and pushes her helmet into my chest. “What the hell are you doing?”
A few of the guys are standing outside having a cigarette, pretending not to listen in. “I thought you’d want to be here for the kids tomorrow?”
“Bullshit,” she snaps. “Your mum is dropping them for me tomorrow, you knew that.”
“I have an appointment with Eleanor first thing. You’re coming too.”
“Who?” she growls.
“My counsellor.”
She grips her fists into balls and her face reddens with rage. “You can’t force me to go there. How dare you just decide what I’m doing.”
“I can and I am,” I say confidently. She begins to march towards the gates and I smile to myself. I love it when she’s angry like this. I feel my cock stir. It takes me by surprise cos since my treatment started, I’ve been lucky to even get half a semi. I race after her, snatching her arm and spinning her to me, then I bend and throw her over my shoulder like a rag doll and march with her into the club.
I head straight for our room. It’s exactly how she left it because I haven’t slept in here since she walked out. I throw her on the unmade bed and she bounces a couple of times before pushing herself up to sit. “You can’t make all this right. We’re over,” she mutters.
“We’ll see,” I say, shrugging out of my kutte.
“I’ve told you a million times, I can’t put myself through it anymore. Your moods and temper. I can’t live on the edge like that wondering if you’ll wake up loving me or hating me.”
I stop undressing and stare down at her. “I’ve been fucking up for months. I know I have. Shit’s got on top of me with the club and Leia.” I shake my head. “I’ve not been myself.”
“Stop talking,” she mutters.
“But I want to make it right. I want us to try and sort this mess out. I want to be there for you and the kids.”
“I said, stop talking.”
“Anna—”
She pushes up from the bed. “I said, stop fucking talking,” she hisses. She prods a finger to my chest. “Months, I’ve cried over you. I’ve begged you to talk to me. I’ve degraded myself to try and get you to fuckin’ notice me and you haven’t. I’ve left three times. Three!” Her face is red with anger as she continues to
