“Finn,” she smiles warmly. “Come in.”
Inside, the room is exactly what I pictured—a posh-looking couch by a bookcase and a comfy chair next to it. I smirk and shake my head at the irony. “Something amuse you?” she asks with a smile. She takes a seat in the comfy chair and points to the posh couch.
“It’s all very,” I wave my hand around the room, “cliché”
She smiles again, looking around the room. “I guess it is. So, tell me what brings you here.”
I sit on a stool because I don’t wanna get too comfy. I don’t plan to be here long cos honestly, what the hell is this woman gonna do to make me sort my life out? Unless she can work a miracle.
“My brother is a client of yours. He told me to come.”
“Let me guess,” she says. “Elijah?” I nod. “I recognised the badges,” she says, pointing her pen at my kutte.
“Seems to think you helped him, but I remember the arguments I had cos he didn’t think he needed you. Only, he had to come to meet terms set out by the courthouse.”
She nods in agreement. “I gave him a very good report. He finished his probation.”
“But he still sees you,” I state.
“Umm, you know I can’t tell you things like that,” she says. “Why did Elijah tell you to come and see me?”
“He thinks I’m having some kind of breakdown,” I mutter.
“Do you think that?” she asks, and I shake my head. “But you still came here,” she says thoughtfully.
“I need to get Cree off my back. He’s upset because me and Anna have split.”
“Anna’s your?” she asks.
“Wife.”
“Married for how long?” she asks.
“Not long enough,” I mutter.
“You didn’t want to break up?” she asks.
I take a minute to think about it. “I don’t know what I want anymore. Loving Anna makes me weak. I can’t lead the club when I’m weak.”
“Yet you love her anyway, even though you broke up.”
“But that’ll stop. One day. Love doesn’t last forever.”
Chapter Four
ANNA
I look over the paperwork and smile as I sign my name on the dotted line then hand it to the tutor. “I think online learning is the best idea. You can work it around your life, kids, and work. I’m here anytime you need anything. Just email me at this address.” She hands me a card and I tuck it inside my bag.
As I leave the college building, I feel a flicker of hope. This is a new beginning. I can do this! I’m busy texting while I walk, so I don’t see him until I almost crash against his hard chest. “Anna,” says Riggs. His voice still sends shivers throughout my body. I suck in a breath and stare up into his light blue eyes. Everything about this man makes me weak. “Where are the kids?”
“School, and Eva has Willow.”
He nods. “You look nice.” I’m thankful I made an effort for this meeting. I wanted the college to see me as determined and focussed rather than a crazy-haired mummy. I chose the tight-fitting jeans because it’s the first time I’ve been able to squeeze into them since I’d gotten pregnant with Willow. I teamed them with a strappy top and leather jacket. Call me a sucker, but the smell of leather keeps me grounded. Eva did my hair this morning when she came over first thing to make sure I was dressed right for the meeting. She was more nervous than me. She’d given me a trim and cut bangs, saying they framed my face. “I like your hair like that,” he adds.
“How’s Ziggy?” I ask, because I can’t listen to him say those nice things without wanting to cling to him.
“Missing you. I said I’d call about him coming to see you.”
“I’ll have him whenever is good with you. I miss him too.”
I look behind Riggs to the old building he’d just exited. On the call buttons, the name Eleanor Chapman is highlighted. A stab of jealousy hits me, followed by fear. What if she’s a solicitor? What if he’s been to see her about a divorce?
“Are the girls okay?” he asks.
I nod. I hate this small talk. If he wants to divorce me, why won’t he just say it? I feel my eyes water and I blink quickly. “I’m doing a course,” I blurt out, mainly just trying desperately to fill the awkward silence. “Management.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Like college?”
I nod. “Eva’s idea. I always wanted to go back to college, but life seemed to get in the way. Reggie wouldn’t let me . . .” I trail off. I haven’t spoken about Reggie for such a long time.
“I’m nothing like him, Anna. If you wanted to go to college, you could have gone,” he snaps. Why does every conversation feel like an argument?
“We never laugh anymore,” I say, absentmindedly. “When did we stop laughing?”
“You never said you wanted to go to college,” he mutters.
“I forgot. I was swept up in the kids and being a good wife. I guess I messed that up,” I say, adding a small laugh.
“You didn’t . . . mess it up, I mean.”
“Then why are we behaving like we hardly know each other? Scared to say the wrong thing?” I take a deep breath. “I’ve deleted your phone number.” He frowns but doesn’t ask why. Maybe it’s obvious. “I don’t want to break down after a glass of wine and call you. I have a moment at least five zillion times a day where I think ‘I should tell Riggs about this’ and then I remember, I can’t do that.”
“You can,” he says. “Anytime.”
“I can’t. Not if we’re serious about this. I’m too weak for you. Anyway, when you want Willow, you’ll have to call me.”
“What if there’s an emergency?” he asks.
“I’ll call someone at the club,” I
