I rub my cheeks. “I just woke up,” I mutter. “I must have nodded off while I was working.”
“Enjoyed a nice nap, did you? Meanwhile, I’m looking after the kids so you can study.”
I roll my eyes and unfasten Willow from the seat. “Willow wakes up a lot through the night. And don’t act like you’re doing me a favour. You wanted the girls tonight.”
“How’s all that going?” he asks, pointing to the books on the floor.
“Good,” I say. “I’m enjoying it.”
“I bathed the kids already. You want me to put them to bed so you can finish up your work?” he asks.
I smirk, the memory of my dream invading my mind. “I can do it,” I say.
“Have you eaten?”
I shake my head, my cheeks reddening again. “Not yet.”
“You go put them to bed and I’ll get you a sandwich. I need to talk to you.”
RIGGS
I haven’t seen Anna for weeks. She looks fucking hot. The lack of sex in my life is not helping shit. I focus on making her a sandwich. When she returns, she’s still got that damn flush on her cheeks. She only ever got that after an orgasm or if she was thinking naughty shit. I frown. “Did you have a guy here tonight?”
“No,” she says, innocently.
“You took ages to answer the door. You got that ‘just fucked’ look. Shit, have you met someone?”
She rolls her eyes for the second time tonight and I have a few thoughts of my own. “What did you want to talk to me about?” she asks.
I place the sandwich down in front of her. “Eat, you’ve lost way too much weight,” I mutter.
She almost chokes on the bread. “Drink,” she pants, between coughs. I get her some water and she takes it gratefully.
“I’ve been to see a counsellor,” I say, and her eyes widen. “She wants to meet you,” I add.
“Why?” asks Anna.
“I don’t know, Anna. Maybe she thinks she can work her voodoo shit and repair us.” I’ve seen Eleanor twice now and she’s good. I always go in there with the mindset that I ain’t talking about Anna or any other shit that’s going on, but somehow, I end up on that damn posh couch blurting out my life story. Now, she wants Anna to come.
“I don’t know,” mutters Anna, hesitantly. “I’m finally not crying anymore. I get into bed, read my book, and think about you for just a minute or two, and then I sleep. I don’t cry like I used to. I don’t allow myself to think about you long enough. Talking to a counsellor might make me cry again, and honestly, I have nothing left.”
I nod stiffly. I told Eleanor I’d try, but I ain’t begging. “Right. We need to sort out what happens next,” I mutter. She waits for me to explain. “Well, we’re apart. The next step is divorce,” I say bluntly. I hadn’t even thought about fucking divorce but I’ve said the words now and she looks like a fucking wounded puppy dog. My heart aches. “Shall I get the ball rolling?” I add, inwardly yelling at my stupid ass to shut the hell up, but I reason if she don’t wanna see a counsellor, then she don’t want us to work.
“Erm . . . yes, I guess.”
“It’s time to move forward,” I mutter.
“Like meeting other people?” she asks quietly.
I nod. “Yeah. I got blue balls waiting around, and if we’re done, then I can sort that problem out.” I laugh awkwardly and she frowns. “I don’t want a relationship or anything, I’ll use a clubwhore or . . .” I trail off. What the fuck am I saying? Stop talking, asshole. Just stop. “Raven.”
She sucks in a breath and her eyes get that glazed look. “Raven,” she repeats.
I stand stiffly, unsure how to get out of this ridiculous conversation. No wonder she fucking hates me. “We’re not serious or anything,” I say, shrugging. Christ, Raven isn’t even on my radar, I’m using her cos of the way Anna reacted at finding us together in my office.
Anna pushes the sandwich away. “Baby, eat. Please,” I say quietly. She’s practically bones as it is and I wonder if that’s my fault.
“I need you to go,” she croaks, trying hard to keep her voice steady.
“Look, I shouldn’t have said that,” I say quickly.
She blinks and tears roll down her cheeks as she gives a watery smile. “I just remembered I have a phone call to make. Am I still having Ziggy tomorrow?” she asks. I nod. I feel so ashamed. “Great. I’ll get him from school with Malia then.”
I hook my finger around hers and she stares down at the connection with such pain on her face that I almost crack and tell her everything, because surely the truth is easier to handle than what I’m doing to her right now. “Anna,” I mumble.
“I’m okay,” she lies. ”I’m gonna be okay.”
I nod. “I know. You’re strong.” I gently kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes, pressing herself against me. The heat from her stirs something and I breathe in her strawberry shampoo scent. Fuck, I miss her. I place a finger under her chin and tilt her head back so she’s looking into my eyes. I try desperately to convey how I feel through that look. She steps up onto her tiptoes and moves her mouth closer. She’s so close, I feel the heat from her lips. That flush appears on her cheeks and I slam my mouth against hers. I’m so lost in her that it takes a second to register her fists hitting against my chest.
We pull apart. “No,” she breathes, glaring at me. She swipes the back of her hand over her mouth. “You need to go now. Don’t stand there telling me you want to fuck other women then kiss me like that,” she hisses.
“I don’t wanna fuck other women,” I mutter.
“Get out, Riggs. You give
