“Hey.” Chase is by my side, pulling my hair back from my face as I dry heave and cry into his toilet. “I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.” He rubs between my shoulder blades. His concern only makes me sob harder. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He reaches under the sink and finds a cloth to wet when I finally sit back. There’s nothing left in my stomach to expel, but my tears flow freely. He wipes at my face with a tenderness I don’t deserve. “What do you need?” His patience and calm are a lifeline.
“The hospital.” Panic and fear grip my body. I’m not ready to face what lies ahead, but I don’t think I have a choice. “Take me to Mercy.”
35
Alicia
Chase finds me clean clothes and a pair of shoes to wear while I clean myself up. I am sure they belong to Julia, but I try not to think about that. I try not to think at all, steeling myself for the possibilities of what waits for us at the hospital.
I text and call my brothers but neither picks up. We check the emergency waiting room but come up short. I can barely speak and my voice shakes as we speak with the receptionist. She can’t give us any information, but suggests checking the ICU next.
“Come on.” Chase guides me to the elevator, his hand resting at the small of my back. I’m too tired to pull away. I avoid eye contact with the other people who board and count back from ten with each breath, to focus on something besides the clawing anxiety destroying my nerves.
The doors open on our floor and I step out, relief flooding me at the sight of my mom and brothers.
“Alicia.” Ricky spots me first.
I rush forward to meet him.
Mom’s chin snaps up from where she’s slumped into a chair. “Look who finally made it.” Her words slur together and her eyes are bloodshot from more than crying. She pushes to her feet, nearly stumbling. “My darling daughter, everyone,” she calls out loudly.
The cruelty of her words stops me in my tracks.
“Mom.” Eddie moves to her side.
“Don’t touch me,” she warns, then points a finger in my direction. “You should have been here. You ungrateful, spoiled child!” Her words shouldn’t have the power to hurt me. I know too well they’re only fueled by a substance. Still, they hit where I’m vulnerable. Logically, I understand Dad isn’t here because of anything I did or failed to do, but guilt for not being home when he needed me causes the breath to leave my lungs.
Ricky flashes me an apologetic glance. There aren’t many people in the waiting area but I feel the heat of their stares as my mother causes a scene.
“It’s been a long night,” Eddie says, stepping between us. “Maybe you should rest, Mom. How about we go for a walk, get a coffee downstairs.”
“No. I am not leaving. Not until someone tells me my husband is going to be okay.” She sinks into her seat, her shoulders slumping with defeat. Her eyes drift shut and she shakes her head. “Get me a drink. Please, I need . . .” She doesn’t finish her thought, her body heaving with silent sobs.
Eddie slips into the chair next to hers. He exchanges a look with Ricky. I don’t know what it means, but I stalk across the room for answers.
“I tried to call you,” Ricky says, pulling me into his side for a hug. “Where have you been?” He glances over to where Chase stands a few feet back. “Hey.” He lifts his chin in a polite greeting.
I step out of my brother’s embrace, shrugging off his comfort. “What happened?”
“Dad is in surgery. They held off as long as they could, but his lung collapsed right after they brought him in.”
“It’s not another stroke?” That alone provides me a sliver of relief. My chest expands and I can finally inhale a full breath. “When can we go see him?”
“Alicia. You can’t.” My brother holds my stare. “He’s in surgery. It’s a risky procedure, given his current health. I need you to understand, there’s a possibility he might not make it out.”
“He might not . . .” My hands shake, my entire body rattling with fear.
“I hope you’re happy with yourself,” my mother calls from her seat. Her words are meant for me. I’m sure of it.
“Eddie.” Ricky shoots my brother a glare.
I feel numb. Like I’m in a bad dream. But it won’t matter if I scream or cry; there’s no waking up from this.
Eddie coaxes my mom out of her chair and over to the elevators. It’s not until the doors slide shut that I glance around. There’s a woman staring. She sits alone and I expect her to look away once our eyes lock. Only she doesn’t. There’s something familiar about her, but she’s not one of the staff members and she’s not one of Dad’s nurses.
The hair on the back of my neck rises. “Who’s that?” I nod in her direction before meeting Ricky’s stare.
His gaze is uncertain, but he attempts a smile. “Alicia, this is Lucía.”
Lucía.
Our half-sister.
The one who’s supposed to be in Spain where Dad hid her and his second family for most of our lives. Anger rushes through my veins. The events of the morning play back in my mind and hit me all over again. Guilt lays thick in my throat, making it hard to breathe. Lucía is here. Sitting with my family as I should have been.
She pushes to her feet, moving with a pleasant demeanor to step forward. Her lips curve with a smile that looks too much like my own. Like my father’s.
“What—?” My chest heaves. My pulse rockets. I feel crazed, almost outside of my body. “What is she doing here?” My words lash out sharply.
Ricky’s brow furrows. His eyes confused. “She’s family.”
“She’s a stranger!” I throw my hands out.
“Alicia.” Chase crowds my
