I felt my stupid tears mix with the water falling down on me.I knew I needed to stop thinking about her. But I couldn’t.
I just needed to focus my energy on something else. I’d callmy real estate agent. I’d find a new place to fix up. A smaller place with lessroom to grow, or just another flip. And I’d get back to work. MAC Internationaldidn’t grow itself. I took a deep breath as I rinsed the soap off myself. Thatwas the best part of owning an international finance firm. You could work allnight.
Chapter 7
Saturday
I looked out the window at the city speeding by. All my friendshad personal drivers, security, the whole shebang. I had the money to livetheir lifestyles. But I preferred to take a taxi or drive myself. I preferredto do a lot of things differently than my friends. And the thought of someonefollowing me around all day, watching me unravel more each day…I couldn’t standit.
“Matt?”
I shook my head. I’d spaced out while listening to my realestate agent, Bill, go over some details on the phone. “Yes?”
“Are you sure you want to sell?” Bill asked. “I was under theimpression that you were fixing it up for yourself. I didn’t realize you’d belooking again any time soon.”
I kept my eyes glued out the window as the taxi sped up. “Ioutgrew it.” I found myself scanning the people walking along the sidewalk. Lookingfor…I didn’t really know what I was looking for anymore.
“It’s three bedrooms, isn’t it? That’s a lot of room forgrowing.”
“Yeah, but I use one for an office. And one for…storage. Iwant a home gym.”
“It has a basement.”
“Are you going to help me sell it or not, Bill?” My voicecame out sharper than I meant for it to. I’d spent my whole Saturday working atthe empty offices of MAC International. The last thing I wanted to be doing wasdriving to go meet my friends for drinks. I just wanted to go home. Or to a hotel.Maybe a hotel would be better.
“Of course I’ll help you sell it. But if you hold on to itfor a few more months, the market will be better. The spring market…”
“Is saturated. We’ll be one of the premiere listings of the winter.”
“Okay,” Bill said. “I’ll get the paperwork started. Do youhave a number in mind?”
The taxi pulled to a stop outside the bar. “Whatever youthink is good.”
“You don’t have a specific number? I know you put a lot ofwork into the place.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
There was an awkward silence as I stepped out of the car. Iknew my request was unusual. People flipped houses for a profit. Notfor…whatever the hell I was doing. “I just did it for fun,” I added. “I don’tcare about the return.” I stopped outside the bar. The wind had picked up and Iwished I’d worn a warmer jacket.
“So let me get this straight,” Bill said. “You spent all yourweekends and free time the past several years renovating a house for…fun?”
“Yeah.” It was a lie and I was pretty sure we both knew it. ButI wasn’t about to tell him that I needed to stay busy just to keep fromdrowning. That I meant to stay there forever. That I stupidly renovated it intoa family home without even realizing it until it was too late. That being theremade me feel even more alone.
“Well, I’ll need to come see it to get a proper listingprice. I haven’t even seen the bathroom renovations yet. Can I stop bytomorrow?”
“As long as it’s before noon. I’m going to be preoccupied therest of the day.” I wasn’t sure how long Penny would want to hang out. But Ihoped to have her attention for as long as possible. I didn’t want to spendanother Sunday at the office. Or watching football at James’ place as the seventhwheel. People thought being the third wheel was rough. The seventh? So much fuckingworse.
“Sounds good. I’ll be there by 10.”
“Great. See you tomorrow.” I hung up and stared at the doorsof the bar. I cracked my neck, took a deep breath, and forced a fake smile onmy face before walking in.
Despite the fact that it was called My Favorite Bar, I knewfor a fact it wouldn’t be my favorite. It was too bright. Too cheery. I likedto drink in peace.
Mason and James were already sitting at a high-top in theback corner. I made my way past a table of drunk bridesmaids. One of thembacked up, almost falling into me. I grabbed her arms to help steady her beforeher drink could spill down the front of my shirt. For a few seconds she juststared up at me with dilated pupils.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I am now.” She blinked up at me, batting her eyelashes.
Not happening. She was clearly plastered. And I hadenough on my mind with the fist fight I was about to walk into with James. Sexwas not a priority tonight. The woman didn’t move to stand on her own, so I politelytilted her upright and stepped away from her before she could say anythingelse.
“Hey,” I said and slid onto the barstool next to Mason.
Mason looked over at the girl I’d rejected and then back atme. “You feeling okay, man?”
“I’m fine.”
He nodded. “You look tired.”
“You look like shit too.”
He laughed. “Touché. I’m trying to land a new client who hasthese ridiculous requests. He’s impossible and I’ve been spending way too muchtime in the office.”
“I was at the office all day today too.” I could feel Jamesstaring at me, but I didn’t turn to him.
“A problem with one of your clients?” Mason asked.
“No. Just…catching up on some stuff.”
He nodded. It looked like he wanted to ask me anotherquestion, but instead, he took a sip of his drink.
I’d first learned to master my fake smile around my family. Masonhad been really concerned about me after Brooklyn died. And I hadn’t wanted totalk about it. So I pretended I was fine. And I was pretty sure that he pretendedthat he
