Banishing the thoughts to the back of his mind, he took Claire by the hand and shut the door behind him. Time to focus on the now, he told himself.
‘Tell me about your children?’ Claire asked him. They were sitting opposite each other in the inn’s restaurant having just eaten one of the best meals of his life. He felt full and happy as they drank the remainder of the red wine they’d ordered with dinner and the question threw him. He raised his eyebrows at her.
‘There’s no point pretending they don’t exist, Pete. They’re a big part of your life and I want to know about the things that matter to you.’
‘Well Lily is seven, Maggie is five,’ he began. ‘They’re like chalk and cheese, the pair of them. Lily is the serious one, very conscientious at school and a heart of gold. Maggie is a cheeky little mare but she doesn’t half make me laugh.’
‘Did you always want children?’
He considered the question for a moment. ‘I guess it was just something that we always assumed we’d do. It’s not like I had a burning desire to be a dad but it was the standard pathway, you know? Not that I’m saying I don’t like being a dad, I love my girls, but it wasn’t something I’d dreamed of all my life, if that makes sense.’
‘Are you close to your own family?’
He shook his head. ‘Not at all. My dad left when I was young and I have no idea where he is. I don’t want to know either. I never really got on with my mum. She’s the sort of person who always has a chip on her shoulder. Not the most supportive mother in the world. When I told her I wanted to go to university she just didn’t get it at all. “Why don’t you just get a job like everyone else?” she asked me. I think she was expecting me to contribute financially rather than swan off for another three years of studying. I couldn’t wait to get away. How about you?’
‘The total opposite,’ she said with a wistful smile. ‘My mum was my best friend. When she died it hit me really hard. But me and my dad, we got through it together and it made us closer than ever. When he died, I felt totally on my own for the first time in my life. It was hard.’ She paused to sip some of her wine.
‘I’ve not been back to my dad’s house in France since he died. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. But recently I’ve found myself thinking about it more and more. Maybe it’s time to go back. Perhaps you could come with me?’
‘I’d like that,’ he said, already mentally calculating how it would be possible to get away for a few days. He could easily fabricate a business trip. ‘I’d like that a lot.’
Afterwards they went back to their room. Lying next to Claire in post-coital bliss, a nightcap glass of whisky in his hand, he allowed the warming effect of the drink to overcome him and he drifted off into a contented sleep.
The next morning she was already in the shower when he woke up. She came out, rubbing her wet hair with a towel and perched on the bed next to him.
‘Morning, sleepyhead,’ she said, giving him a kiss.
‘What time is it?’ he asked her.
‘Just gone nine thirty.’
Bloody hell, I haven’t slept that late since… he couldn’t even remember when. ‘I slept like a log,’ he said, stretching and sitting up.
‘Nothing like a bit of country fresh air for a good night’s sleep,’ she said. She smiled at him but she seemed a bit distracted.
‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine, just a bit sad that it’s all over and we have to go home. I’ve had such a glorious time.’
‘Me too,’ he said, reaching out to pull her towards him. But she resisted.
‘I’m sorry, Pete, it’s just, oh I don’t know, most of the time I’m absolutely fine with the fact that you have this whole other life. I knew what I was getting myself into. But sometimes I just wish that it could be something more.’
Oh shit. His heart sank. This was the first time she’d brought it up after months of their no-ties agreement. He’d been lulled into a false sense of security that she was totally, 100 per cent fine with the arrangement. She’d been so cool and undemanding about it up until now. Had he been naïve? She was a woman after all, emotions always came into it in the end. He thought back to the conversation he’d had with Dan at the pub, when he had told him about the affair. He’d told his friend he was smitten with Claire. Did he mean it or did he just say it in the heat of the moment? You have to make a decision, Dan had said. He just wasn’t ready yet. Why was she bringing it up now? They’d had the most amazing day and night and now she was totally ruining the vibe.
As if she could read his mind, she immediately leant in to kiss him. ‘Oh, just ignore me, Pete,
