‘What will you do?’ Kate asked, feeling a wave of relief. She’d done it, it was over. And Rachel’s reaction had been much better than she’d expected.
‘I’ve had a family trying to poach me for months. One of the mums at the girls’ school. She works full-time and has had a succession of unreliable nannies. Every time she sees me at the school gates, she offers me a job. It’s a decent gig, and it means I’ll still get to see Lily and Maggie. I’ll give her a call now and see if she wants to make it official.’
The two women hugged and Rachel left to make the call. Ten minutes later she was back. ‘She wants me to start immediately. I’ve told her that I have to give you at least one month’s notice…’
‘It’s fine,’ Kate interrupted. ‘It’s absolutely fine if you want to start straight away, Rachel, honestly.’
‘But what about Lily and her leg? I feel awful for leaving you in the lurch like this. I could at least wait until the cast is off and she’s walking again?’
But Kate just stood up and gave Rachel another hug. ‘It’s okay, Rachel, I’ve got this.’ And for the first time in a long time, she thought she might actually believe herself.
The girls were gutted about Rachel at first. What with their dad suddenly disappearing from their lives, then Rachel, the timing couldn’t have been much worse and she felt awful about causing so much disruption to them in such a short space of time. But then, as only children can, they’d rallied within minutes.
‘Who will take us to school?’ Lily asked, wiping her tear-stained cheeks.
‘I will, darling.’
‘Every day?’
‘Yes, every day. And I’ll pick you up. And we can go to the park or have tea at a café. It’ll be fun.’
‘Yay, Mummy is going to take us to school every day,’ Maggie started chanting, jumping up and down on the sofa. ‘Mummy is taking us to school, Mummy is taking us to school!’
‘And you’ll still see Rachel all the time,’ Kate added. ‘She’ll be working for another family whose children go to your school and she can’t wait to see you every day. And she’ll still come to your birthday parties and so on. She’ll always be in our lives.’
Kate gestured to Rachel, who had been lurking outside the door, waiting for her cue. She came in and gave both the girls a big hug. ‘Your mum’s right,’ she said. ‘You can’t get rid of me that easily, I’ll be seeing you all the time,’ and she tickled them both until they were wriggling around and shrieking with delight. Once the girls were immersed in a game of doll’s hospital the two women went back into the kitchen for a cup of tea.
‘Have you heard from Pete?’ Rachel asked her.
‘No, not a thing. I’m starting to think he’s not coming back at all.’
‘Of course he is,’ Rachel replied. ‘He wouldn’t just disappear like this, without a trace. He loves you and the kids.’
‘I thought so too but I just don’t know anymore. You know I spoke to his mum the other day. She told me that Pete had told her I didn’t want her in our lives. She’d stayed away all these years because of me. But it couldn’t have been further from the truth. I wanted her to meet the girls and to spend time with us, but every time I brought it up, Pete would get angry and tell me to leave it. I’ve been with him for so many years but maybe I didn’t know him at all.’
‘I’m sure he had his reasons,’ Rachel said, as always trying to find the best in people. ‘He must have thought it was the right thing to do, for you and the girls.’
‘Maybe,’ Kate conceded. ‘Or maybe he’s just a manipulative, lying bastard.’
Rachel’s eyes widened.
‘Sorry, Rach,’ Kate said hurriedly. ‘Not appropriate at all, it must be because you’re leaving us, I’ve gone all unprofessional on you.’
‘Not at all,’ Rachel said. ‘If my husband had left me and my kids without a word, I’d be calling him a lot worse than a bastard. It would start with a C and end with a T.’
Kate snorted with laughter. This new dynamic between them felt comfortable, as if she was in the company of a friend. ‘We must keep in touch, Rachel, we really must.’
‘Of course we will,’ Rachel replied confidently. ‘What are you going to do if he doesn’t come back?’
‘Rage, cry, rage a bit more and get on with my life, I suppose,’ she replied. ‘I’ve already started to accept that our marriage is probably over. It can’t survive something like this, I’ll never forgive him for what he’s done. And it’s more than that anyway. Things haven’t been good between us for so long and I knew it but I didn’t do anything about it. I’ve been in a weird state of denial for so long, letting life pass me by, too afraid to wake up and face the truth.’
‘And now?’
‘I don’t know, I’m still fragile, I’m still angry, upset, anxious, afraid of what the future holds. But I’ve been forced to wake up. I’ve been left on my own to deal with stuff and I’ve had to get on with it. So I have. Not always well, but at least I’m trying. As each day goes by I feel a little braver, a little more capable.’
‘Are you okay for money?’
‘Right now, yes, but it has made me realise how much I’ve relied on Pete for everything. And that’s not going to wash in the future, no matter what happens. I’m going to start looking for some freelance work again and I
