‘And what about the kids?’ Dan asked.
‘I’ll still see them all the time,’ Pete insisted. ‘We’ve planned it all out. I’m going to rent a flat in London and come back twice a month, so they’ll stay with me then and they’ll come to France for holidays.’
‘Do you really think Kate is going to allow that?’
‘She wouldn’t dare to stop me from seeing my kids. I have rights.’
‘I’m not sure how many rights you have if you leave the bloody country to live with another woman. Have you even looked into it?’
He hadn’t but he didn’t want to admit that to Dan. ‘Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but we’ll make it work. Kate won’t stand in the way of me having a relationship with the girls, she’s not like that.’
‘She’ll be angry, Pete, angry and humiliated. And even if she does agree to it, are you really okay with not being a part of their day-to-day lives?’
Dan was a family man, the idea of being away from his children even for a night or two distressed him but Pete was different. He loved his girls, he adored them, but he missed his pre-kids life. And this way, it meant that he would enjoy them even more when he did see them. But he could never admit that to Dan because even he knew it sounded fairly horrific, so instead he said: ‘Of course not, but even if I lived in London I still wouldn’t see them every day. At least this way they can come and stay with me for weeks on end. And they’ll love it, Dan, the place is amazing.’
But there was no convincing Dan. He disapproved and nothing Pete said would change his mind. His friend’s reaction hadn’t been a massive surprise but it had fed the niggling monster of doubt still lurking in the depths of his mind. Was Dan right? Was this all a massive early midlife crisis that had gone too far and he’d come to regret? Did he just need some time away to clear his head?
He thought about the upcoming holiday to Greece again. He’d go, he decided, he’d go along and see what happened. There was nothing to lose at this stage.
19
Kate
Valentine’s Day was coming up. The children had come home from school clutching home-made cards for her. To Mummy, Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you xxx
Pete had proposed to Kate on Valentine’s Day. They were on a romantic trip to Italy and the whole thing was as cheesy as it could get, but she’d absolutely loved it. He’d got down on one knee in a beautiful piazza after they emerged from an amazing dinner and told her that he wanted her to be his wife. Right then, looking into the eyes of the man who had been by her side for a decade, she had never felt happier in her life. After that, Valentine’s Day had been a bit of a special thing for them and even after they stopped going out each year to celebrate, he’d always come home with some flowers and chocolates and cook her a lovely meal. They’d stay up and talk for hours, reminiscing about their past and talking about their future and she’d go to bed thinking about how lucky she was to have him.
Eventually his gestures slowly dwindled down to a card and some petrol station flowers and she could hardly blame him – the year Maggie was born she’d completely forgotten what day it was and hadn’t even wished him a Happy Valentine’s until he got home from work proffering a hastily bought card that he’d picked up in Sainsbury’s. They’d been in bed by 8pm. The day lost all of its former glory and became just like any other, so it felt strange that, despite the circumstances, she was actually looking forward to it for the first time in years.
They were holding a Valentine’s Disco at the girls’ school and Kate had been involved in the planning. She had helped the parent organisers out with the promotion for the event and all the tickets had sold out within the first two hours – a new record. Parents and teachers kept coming up to her in the playground to congratulate her and she felt a warm rush of pride each time. Lily and Maggie were beside themselves with excitement – more about the fact that there would be bags of sweets to buy than the actual dance itself – and she, Lottie and a few of the gang from Maggie’s class were going out for pizza afterwards.
Nadia was baking some of her famous cupcakes and cookies in heart shapes and Kate had been relieved that no one expected her to contribute too. Not only was she useless at baking, she was absolutely rushed off her feet with work at the moment. Her first client had given her another campaign to work on and she’d taken on two new projects since. Trying to fit all the work into school hours was proving to be a bit of a challenge but she was absolutely buzzing. She was earning her own income for the first time in ages and she felt great. Each time she didn’t have to withdraw money from the savings account to pay for things she felt a rush of satisfaction. Her self-confidence was coming back and the daily doses of panic and anxiety were easing off. She knew they’d probably always be there lurking in the background ready to pounce, but she was learning to control them.
It had been five months since she had last seen or spoken to Pete. They had been the hardest and most challenging months of her life but they had also been surprising. Despite the heartbreak and humiliation, she finally felt more like herself than she had done in years. It had taken an event so completely horrendous and out of her control
