And honestly? She didn’t really miss him that much at all anymore. Once she had got out of the habit of having him around, she found that she liked herself far better now that he was gone. It wasn’t his fault, he hadn’t been a terrible husband, but they had drifted apart so long ago and had reached the point where they had brought out the worst in each other, not the best. Late at night she would still find herself thinking, what would Pete say if he could see me now? What would he think? She still craved his approval, even after all this. He’d be pleased, she thought. Pissed off as hell that I waited until he’d gone to finally sort my life out, but proud. But then maybe he’d had to go for her to change her outlook on life. Perhaps she never would have done it if he were still there. His mere presence had become a barrier, hiding her and trapping her at the same time. It was only once it had been forcibly removed that she’d had to stand tall and face the world.
Her phone started ringing in the hallway and she rushed to answer it. She no longer instinctively looked for Pete’s name and, glancing at the screen, she saw that it was Lottie. She smiled as she answered: Lottie had become a good friend, someone she could really be herself around and who she didn’t constantly compare herself against, and it felt wonderful to have one of those again after so long.
‘Ava is so excited about tonight,’ Lottie said. ‘She wants to know what Maggie is wearing. I can’t believe it’s started already, I thought we wouldn’t have this until they were teenagers. They’re growing up too fast!’
‘I know,’ Kate said, grinning. ‘Maggie and Lily made me take them shopping so they could buy new dresses. I must say though, I really enjoyed it too.’
‘Would you and the girls like to come over for Sunday lunch this weekend? Andy’s ordered in a beef joint.’
‘That would be lovely, thank you.’
‘Fab, around oneish?’
‘Perfect, looking forward to it. See you later for the disco.’
Putting the phone back down she made a coffee and sat at the kitchen table to do some work. What with the disco and the dinner planned for later that day she had the Friday feeling and was struggling to concentrate. She put the radio on and tried to get stuck into the press release she was writing but her mind kept drifting. What should she wear later? It was only a school party and dinner with some friends but she felt like making a bit of an effort. Should she sack off work and wash and blow dry her hair? She could make it up tomorrow evening. Oh sod it, she thought, closing her laptop. She was feeling reckless.
Upstairs she put some music on and jumped into the shower, taking her time and savouring the empty house. As much as she loved having the girls around, she enjoyed the time when she had the place to herself. She no longer felt lonely, even at night. The nightmares still came sometimes but they were less frequent now. She’d bought new bedsheets and covers, trying to make the bed her own and she often had little visitors, who crept into her bed and snuggled up beside her at night. Pete used to say that children should sleep in their own beds and had never allowed the girls to sleep with them but now she found that she didn’t mind it at all. In the morning she would wake up surrounded by children and teddies and would smile. No, she couldn’t possibly be lonely, the house was full of life.
Padding out of the bathroom she did her hair and make-up before putting on some smart jeans and a top. Looking at her phone she saw that it was 2pm – another hour before she had to collect the girls and bring them home to change before the disco started at 4.30pm. Really, she should try to squeeze an hour of work in but she fancied bunking off so she decided to walk up to the Broadway and have a mooch around the shops. She was just picking up her keys when she heard a knock on the door. It was probably Erin, she thought. She was working from home today and had said she might pop round for a cuppa. Never mind, the mooching could wait.
She opened the door with a grin, looking forward to catching up with her sister but her smile evaporated when she looked at the two uniformed police officers standing on her doorstep. Her heart started to pound.
‘Mrs Garland?’ one of them, the woman, asked.
‘Yes, that’s me, what is it?’ she replied.
The officers introduced themselves. ‘May we come in?’ the man asked.
‘Oh, yes, of course.’ Kate led the officers to the living room, feeling her palms becoming clammy and her breath quickening. Was this about Pete? She felt instinctively that it was. They all sat down and she looked at them nervously.
‘Mrs Garland, can I ask when you last saw your husband, Pete Garland?’
‘Five months ago,’ Kate replied. The date she had last seen him was etched into her memory forever. ‘Can I ask what this is about?’
The two officers looked at each other.
‘Mrs Garland,’ the female officer began. ‘Your husband
