Her younger brother, Troy, walks past and I grab his arm. ‘Hey,’ I say. ‘Long time no see.’
He smiles the same goofy smile he had as a little kid. His hair is still dark, albeit curly, and with those feminine high-cut cheekbones, he has an air of Ava about him.
‘Yeah, Granny’s funeral, wasn’t it?’ He pushes his black NHS glasses up the ridge of his nose. I think they’re more ironic than prescription. Abel is on the other side of the room and glances nervously at me, but I know he won’t make any effort to chat. Troy was the twin that came out of childhood relatively unscathed.
‘I’ll catch you at dinner?’ I say.
‘Absolutely.’ Troy winks and wanders off to his fiancé.
There are to be four courses, but as the food starts to arrive, I become more anxious with each bite, unable to concentrate on the way the food is presented so beautifully, but rather watching Caitlin intently, observing how much she is drinking and monitoring her behaviour. I’m still suspicious over her reasons for booking this do at the eleventh hour. It could be typical spontaneous Caitlin wanting a last-minute pre-wedding dinner, or it could be something more sinister. After Ava had told me about the mystery guest, which I could only presume is someone Caitlin’s invited, I am becoming more speculative about any extra surprises Caitlin might be bringing to the wedding day. Anything else she might do, say or drop on me and the rest of the wedding party, could spoil my plan. For once, I just want to look like I have the upper hand, that I am in control. I need Caitlin to be able to recognise that I have done something good. For I have sworn it will be the final time I will need to care.
As I leave for the toilet between the second and third course, I come face to face with Chuck. He grabs my arm and pulls me around the corner where a dark corridor leads to a fire exit.
‘What are you doing?’ I hiss.
‘Just getting away from it all,’ Chuck says. ‘Don’t you sometimes feel it’s all too much?’
‘Not having second thoughts about marrying into this crazy family?’ I take a peek around the corner, checking we’ve not been followed.
‘Of course. Every day.’ Chuck smirks and leans in close. ‘I wish they could be simple like you.’
‘Are you calling me simple?’ I cross my arms.
‘I could never get away with calling you such a thing, you’re far too clever, darling.’ Chuck leans back against the wall. ‘We’ve had a good time though, haven’t we, old girl?’
I nod. We have. I don’t want it all to end. But as soon as Chuck says those vows, everything will change. Nothing will ever be the same again. I wonder if he can feel the weight of what’s to come? If he senses the change as much as I do?
‘But you’ll be happy with Caitlin, won’t you?’
Chuck smirks and for a moment I’m not sure he will say yes. Eventually he nods. ‘Believe it or not, she makes me happy. And I her.’
I look down at my feet and nod. ‘Of course you do. You two are made for each other.’
Chuck is a good man with a good heart, despite the secrets we’ve shared for so long. I hope Caitlin treats him with the love and respect he deserves.
‘Look, we need to get back before we’re missed.’
‘Sure, sure, I’ll go first.’ Chuck pushes himself away from the wall. He leans in and pecks my cheek before he walks away casually, his hands in his pockets.
I swallow down the lump in my throat, take a deep breath and lift my head to stop the tears.
I arrive back at the table a few moments after Chuck. I see Caitlin raise her head and look at me for just a second, but in that look I see something, a fleeting moment of doubt, maybe? Yet, she still manages to remain emotionless. I slide in next to Oscar and ask after his third course, which has just arrived. Oscar is happy, and I risk a glance across the room towards Chuck, who is in conversation with Caitlin’s cousin. As though he can feel the weight of my stare, he looks up for a brief second and catches my eye. We hold eye contact for another second, and I drop my gaze. I put my arm around Oscar.
‘Eat up, babes, don’t let it get cold. Everyone’s fine,’ he says. He points to the room with his fork. ‘You’ve done a great job, a-gain, organising this at such short notice. Proud of you, babes.’ He plants a kiss on my cheek, right in the spot where I can still feel the warmth from Chuck’s lips.
After our third course has been cleared, I hear the familiar sound of a teaspoon gently tapping the side of a champagne glass. I look up and the dread hits my stomach. Caitlin is standing up and looking very much like someone who is about to make a speech. I look over at Chuck, who flashes me a look that says he doesn’t know what’s going on.
‘Hello, everyone. Thank you all for coming, and I just wanted to say how absolutely spectacular you all look. You really have pulled out the stops at the last minute – I cannot wait to see you all in two weeks’ time. I want to say a little something, and although I am going against all traditions, and therefore could jolly well speak up at the wedding dinner, breakfast, whatever you call it – if I chose to, I’ve decided it would be better
